Help me become the most legendary gunner ever
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: September 16th, 2004 12:54 PM Author: ¶Œ‡®‰d¤££ª®
I've decided that if I go to law school, I want to be a gunner. But not just an average gunner. I want to become a legend in my own time. I want people to look back on my tenure at school with the mixture of awe and amazement. I want them to think 'Damn, now that boy was a GUNNER!'
What is the best way to go about doing this? I don't want to be the WORST gunner, just the most legendary. I also need to graduate and have fair employment prospects afterwards, so I can't become a legend doing things that will make the law school angry at me.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345100) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 12:57 PM Author: ok
talk to teacher after every class.
and always talk cases with your fellow law students, at bar review, at lunch, if you run into them at the grocery store.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345115) |
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Date: November 15th, 2007 4:50 PM Author: IAMTHEWALRUS
How to be a Gunner...
here at my school, we have a very distinct breed of gunner that i'll call the "organizational"
There was one gunner study gropu and one of the guys decided to start a "society"...like International Relations Society...
then the other co-gunners in his study group go jealous so 2 others formed their own societies...mind you, no one joined these societies except the co-gunners...
so now, the 3 founders of the socieites dress up in suits every day for class b/ecause they ahve "meetings" with deans etc. for funding/events etc....
Then, to top it all off, this "founder" started getting business cards made "Joe Schmo, President & Founder of the Save the Dolphins and Law Society"
So in my book, the hallmarks of an exceptional gunner...more than average, you have to, at a minimum:
1) Start your Society, pick a random topic no one is interesited ...like the "X and Law Society"...
2) Wear business wear every day, carry a lawyer's briefcase
3) Raise your hand, debate the professor, debate your fellow students, and stay after class every day to bug the professor by asking asining questions about their published works
4)MUST CARRY A ROLLY BAG....AND use a security cord to "protect" your laptop in the library
5) Go to EVERY EVENT at school just to schmooze and hob nob
6) MUSt MUST MUST carry business cards to hand out...and must actively hand them out...
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8899112)
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:00 PM Author: Howard Stern (I want you to make me feel good. Make me feel good)
suit and tie to every class.
Stand up to talk.
Criticize others answers, even if you agree with them.
Offer hypotheticals during every class.
Pose questions to the class
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345128) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 6:35 PM Author: TMF (I'm sportive!)
Yeah, that was brilliant.
If they give an answer you dislike reply "I'm trying to help you learn but you're making it very difficult for me."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5202235) |

Date: September 16th, 2004 1:03 PM Author: Howard Stern (I want you to make me feel good. Make me feel good)
Videotape every class.
Have a rolly bag
Bring in every book or article the professor has ever written to every class
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345135) |
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Date: November 15th, 2007 2:39 PM Author: GULC ttTwo-L
No, just one, but do either of the following:
1. Make it a desktop with a flatscreen monitor that you set up at each class.
2. Have a separate external hard drive for each class, each with a label on the side with names like, "The Tortinator," and "Contracts Machine."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8898647) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 1:17 AM Author: Doogie (My cat can eat a whole watermelon)
be nice, he's only a 0L
Edit: at PCL
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588293) |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 9:33 PM Author: An Army of Liberal Lawyers
Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8524897)
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:35 PM Author: Rowan
Ask questions on cases that weren't assigned.
Make yourself the resident expert of the law of some foreign country, say Uganda, and provide relevant links to whatever you happen to be studying that day.
Read all of the professor's law review articles. During class, argue with the professor about why his thesis in each of them was completely wrong.
Bring a noxious food to class with you each day, and eat it while other students are talking. Soup or fish would be good ones to try.
Make a 500 page outline. Tell everyone about it, and make it known that you're not going to share it and are terrified it will be stolen.
Keep a chart estimating each of your classmate's odds of being in the top 10%. Make it roughly the size of a seating chart and update it whenever someone talks in class.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345253)
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:43 PM Author: Luke_Schenscher_has_a_posse
That's just annoying, that isn't gunner behavior.
a true gunner wouldn't miss a second of class.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345292) |

Date: September 16th, 2004 1:59 PM Author: ¶Œ‡®‰d¤££ª®
I think I'll go for a strange fusion of gunnerdom and redneck madness. For instance, I could preface my hypos with lines like 'When I was wrasslin' gators down in Nola...' or 'It's like the last time I was out bear hunting...' or 'The last time I was in prison...'
I think it would really make people wonder.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345379) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:23 PM Author: Rowan
I'm actually not sure if you have a duty to warn or not. I've seen liability found in a case where a man lied about his fertility and the woman had an ectopic pregnancy, and know of assault and attempted murder cases for those who failed to disclose HIV status.
I don't think the fact that this takes place during an illegal act precludes liability. After all, if you assault a prostitute in some other way, you're still liable for harming her. I suppose you could argue consent, but the prostitute isn't consenting to being infected.
More likely the man with herpes could simply claim ignorance of infection. Then it's negligence rather than an intentional tort, and with that it's easy to argue that the prostitute was just as negligent.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345494) |

Date: September 16th, 2004 2:24 PM Author: Regular Guy
TOTALLY irrelevant subject matter from other academic disciplines as well as life experiences. And I mean purely and totally not even remotely relevant. In grad school, in a literature seminar, we had a gunner who, quite literally, prefaced just a few of his comments/questions towards the professor (who was like a faculty emeritus or some crazy influential thing to boot) with the following:
"Now I assume you know little about particle physics, so please allow me to explain the rudiments of it prior to providing my answer..."
"I often asked myself that very question while preparing to sit for my finals at Oxford"
"As a (some name i don't recall) Scholar, I've clearly given this thought..."
"Having minored in physics, I think i can bring forth an interesting perspective to this issue, as the hard sciences are often ignored in literature" (this one caused me to almost shit myself).
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345496) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:47 PM Author: Regular Guy
Not so much that they were real, but he accused this prof (who, while not the chair of the dept, was VERY high ranking) of refusing to allow for the possibility that the the ghost morrison was using could actually exist. He then went on and on about the way that literary crit is a sheltered and dying discipline and that english departments will crumble and go the way of classics depts because they refuse to allow for the input of other academic disciplines.
She tried for fifteen minutes to explain to him that what was at issue here wasn't whether the ghost could exist, but how it was being utilized as a literary device. There was a signed petition, formal complaints...i mean, this kid was a nightmare. And, I shit you not, he had a sweatshirt, sweater or jacket on EVERY day of class with the school logo or name displayed prominently.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345607) |

Date: September 16th, 2004 3:04 PM Author: ¶Œ‡®‰d¤££ª®
I think I know what to do - one day, while gunning, I'll get into such a heated and passionate argument with the prof that at the end of my speech, I just puke all over my desk.
But what will make it legendary is when I wipe off my mouth and continue gunning like nothing happened.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345734) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:12 AM Author: Procrastinating 2L (Me, Jay Hova)
I am absolutely in stiches right now.
1 mother fucking 80
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6903566) |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 11:07 PM Author: ,.,.,.....,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,,..,.,;,.,.,;,..,. .. ...
my side hurts from laughing
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8525437) |

Date: February 26th, 2005 12:28 PM Author: StabbyMcLawyer (http://www.whomikejones.com/)
Rip snort Cocaine openly in class just so every knows you have an "edge."
Just curse like a sailor. "Seriously, doesn't anyone else think the the fucking Wickard decision is bullshit. Jackson is suck a fucking fag."
When the professor calls on you respond with "never look me in the eye, I'll rip out your heart."
The first time another student disagree with you in class. Wait till class is over and beat them savagely in the hallway.
Use your own experinces in hypos, but only in the context of terrible things you've done. "When this chick from Florida was suing me for extreme emotional distress, you know, because I raped her or whatever, the court found there was no 1332 jurisditon as I was living in Florida at the time."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#2212682)
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Date: August 7th, 2005 8:01 PM Author: Love_Muppet
The Gunner Bible
1) Wear earned/stolen/borrowed military medals all around campus, no matter what you are wearing (e.g., pin them to your swimming trunks when in the pool).
2) Wear shirts with obscure legal passages printed on them.
3) Never leave home without your roly-bag.
4) At the beginning of every class, just before the prof arrives, remind the class how much you rock. You could do this by yelling out your LSAT/GPA combo, in addition to ranting about your prestige, fact or fiction (ala 174, but increase the douchbaggery. It sounds difficult, I know, but you are shooting for legend)
5) At the end of class, before the prof leaves, turn on the speaker system and offer to tutor you classmates on the lecture they just sat through.
6) Refer to yourself in the 3rd person, but call yourself "learned hand".
7) Take one of those 2-week summer classes at Oxford or Cambridge the summer before you begin, and buy a school ring. You need to have a wide variety of "When I was at______" or "I learned while visiting ______" phrases.
8) Get a personal note taker. Make him/her answer only when you speak. The note take should be a little smaller than you, but dressed exactly the same. Even though you will be taking your own notes, you need to have a backup for any syllables missed while thinking up your brilliant gunner hypos.
9) Distribute your own legal newsletter on campus beginning two weeks before 1L. Bing enough copies to class for everyone. Do not stop the presses until finals. Make sure that the logo looks prestigious.
10) Get your segway souped up. It should sound like a Harley if you are going 12 mph or 2. Be sure to ride it into the classroom, right up to your seat if possible. Let your roly-bag drag from the back, hitting the ankles of those who would stand in your way.
---------------------------
To the poster who suggested that the ultimate gunner bring his own podium, I tip my hat. 180, you bastard. 180.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3523947) |
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Date: August 17th, 2007 11:01 AM Author: ,.,.,.......,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,
http://www.isaccorp.org/whitmore/jharris.pdf
http://del.icio.us/tag/point?page=2
http://sueschefftruth.com
http://sueschefftruth.com/uploads/2007/08/Update%20on%20Scheff.pdf
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Sue_Scheff
http://www.nowpublic.com/sue-scheff-attacks-fornits-free-speech
http://suescheffvcareybock.blogspot.com/
http://www.netscape.com/tag/sue+scheff
http://cafety.org/index.php?option=com_joomlaboard&Itemid=26&func=view&id=228&catid=4&limit=10&limitstart=20
http://www.xomba.com/who_is_sue_scheff
http://sueschefftruth.com/?p=8
http://www.hugg.com/taxonomy/term/1155
http://politics.netscape.com/story/2007/08/15/the-strange-story-sue-scheff-reputation-defender-want-to-censor
http://www.topix.com/forum/phoenix/TII4L182S443J7HFR
http://family.netscape.com/story/2007/08/15/child-abuse-alleged-in-green-vs-pure-sue-scheff-lawsuit
http://claimid.com/realsuescheff
http://www.corank.com/tech/tag/Sue%20Scheff
http://www.topix.com/forum/city/new-orleans-la/TKQDNOFG3E97UGF24
http://www.stumbleupon.com/tag/sue-scheff
http://www.fornits.com/docs/bullshit.html
http://www.topix.net/forum/atlanta/TD3ABGM2IPRD3BK5K
http://www.topix.net/forum/city/new-orleans-la/TKQDNOFG3E97UGF24
http://cafety.org/index.php?option=com_joomlaboard&Itemid=&func=view&id=2186&catid=13
http://reddit.com/search?q=%22Sue+Scheff%22
http://www.xomba.com/tags/sue_scheff
http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=671777&mc=4&forum_id=2
http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=655179&mc=8&forum_id=2
http://claimid.com/carey
http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t=19905
http://www.care2.com/news/member/847797324/451087
http://digg.com/videos/people/Lawsuit_exposes_PURE_Sue_Scheff_Nightmare
http://www.ziki.com/en/people/psyborgue
http://www.cyroxos.net/articles/Sue.php
http://digg.com/political_opinion/Sue_Scheff_PURE_and_Others_Accused_of_Fraud_by_Florida_Parents_Horrific
http://www.corank.com/tech/story/carey-Bock-v-Sue-Scheff
http://suescheffsued.74209.free-press-release.com/
http://www.free-press-release.com/news/200708/1187129759.html
http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?p=277094&sid=e868171e21abd00bc04ad6b3b85f0678
http://politics.reddit.com/info/2e2xd/comments
http://suescheffsuescheffsuescheff.blogspot.com/2007/08/sue-scheffs-undocumented-case.html
http://es.corank.com/tech/tag/Sue%20Scheff
http://babblz.com/search.php?page=2&search=sue+scheff%2C+fornits&tag=true
http://twitter.com/greggersh/with_friends
http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/267/RipOff0267011.htm
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8526693)
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Date: February 21st, 2006 3:39 PM Author: Love_Muppet
I'd like to offer an addendum:
The ultimate gunner should never fail to interrupt a classmate who threatens his position. If you are being out "hypo'd" by a fellow gunner, you should conveniently drop your very heavy key-ring, or perhaps cough up a gobs stopper--anything to take away from the other.
To become the top gunner, you should attend many of the events hosted for law students, where employers are NOT present, dressed in a tuxedo; still wearing the military pins, of course, and with your Segway neatly tucked in a corner.
Last, for now, the ultimate gunner should always have a cordless mic system on hand. When everyone is sitting around, discussing how they "feel" about the law, you can quickly and authoritatively make your opinions known. When using this technique, it is usually best to have your note taker on hand with the PC on lexis, and with your outline in hand.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5148764) |

Date: August 7th, 2005 8:07 PM Author: Julius Caesar's Mistress (the artist formerly known as jcm)
This thread made me laugh out loud at least five times.
Classic.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3523986) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:14 AM Author: Procrastinating 2L (Me, Jay Hova)
I literally can't stop laughing.
wow.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6903586) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:31 AM Author: ..,..,....,..,,,........,.,..,,...,..
that'd be truly legendary, lol.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110096) |

Date: February 17th, 2006 1:25 AM Author: The Source of Basra's Man-Eating Badgers
actual things from one guy in my 1L section:
when prof stops acknowledging your raised hand, in order to let others speak that day, raise both arms and waive hands fervently until called on again.
when prof drops pen on way out of class, pick it up and run after him/her.
run up to the podium at the end of every class in order to continue asking questions.
create hypos involving aliens.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110062) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:59 AM Author: Ctrl Alt Delete (marching the hate machines...)
holy shit. i think i might know this clown.
what school? (feel free to edit, or just name the person)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110301)
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:29 AM Author: ..,..,....,..,,,........,.,..,,...,..
Legally change your name to Gunnar Daily. Imagine what people would say.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110090) |

Date: February 17th, 2006 1:40 AM Author: GhostOfWoodyGuthrie (Welcome to Columbia Law. Which biglaw firm will you work for?)
Bring not only your case book to class, but also the paperback supplement that you don't ever need to look at, or the big statute book that everyone just keeps at home. Display them prominently on your desk.
Suggest hypos to the class. Begin with: "Let us suppose..."
When the Prof says something interesting, raise your hand and rephrase what he said disguised as your own comment.
When someone near you talks quietly during class, shush them and give them the look of death.
When someone says something funny during class, don't laugh. Class is much too serious an affair for you to waste time with humor.
Maintain excellent posture throughout class.
Read the full opinions on Lexis before class and then casualy mention that in a question or comment. "I noticed in the full opinion, the court refers to..."
When the person next to you misses something the Professor said and looks at your screen to see what it was, minimize Word.
Outside of class, mention to your classmates that the Professor is "nice, but not particularly bright and a little too focused on black letter law instead of theory."
Identify some obscure federal judge that no one would know of and then mention him in conversation with your classmates, acting like everyone should know who you are talking about: "That's an interesting story about your weekend. By the way, did you like Judge Reynold's opinion on third-party subpoenas that came out last week?"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110163)
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:46 AM Author: ..,..,....,..,,,........,.,..,,...,..
There's this really old guy who loves to make up hypos in class. It gets annoying. Very classic gunnerish behavior.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110203) |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 11:11 PM Author: ,.,.,.....,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,,..,.,;,.,.,;,..,. .. ...
"When the person next to you misses something the Professor said and looks at your screen to see what it was, minimize Word."
A guy sitting next to me did this once. I looked at him bewildered and he turned to me, made eye contact, and shrugged. He then waited until I turned away, stunned, before he would un-minimize.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8525448) |

Date: February 17th, 2006 1:46 AM Author: Lord Psycholomort
Gunner greatness is a thing rarely achieved but oft sought after. The failings of those that have come before you have provided Gunner Historians, like myself, with ample advice to dispense.
1. Know The Dress
- Many former gunners have attempted to "half-gun" (We call it Half Cocked in the Historian biz). They arive in merely a sports coat, tie, and slacks. This is their firt failure, if you can't look the part, how will you ever BE the part?
- The correct Legendary Gunner Gear involves a three outfit day. In the morning you should wear a white tuxedo with long tails. When sitting down take care to spread the tails out behind you. At lunch you should be in a standard black tuxedo with a black cumberbun and bowtie (vests are for poors who don't know about class or tradition). In the evening you should be attired in a high end smoking jacket. Please be sure to be meticulously groomed at all times. Your hair should be either slicked back or gelled down and parted in the center. Your nails should be clean and your ass should be washed.
2. Know the Talk
- Many failed gunners have failed to fully appreciate what may be accomplished with the spoken word and use large words as a proxy for TRUE GUNDRASPEAK
- True GundraSpeak is a mesh of ancient greek, latin, and olde english. You should always answer pure law questions in latin (then translate to modern english with a look of scorn on your face). Policy questions should be presented in ancient greek and accompanied by the standard hand motions employed in the forum of old. Olde English should be used whenever speaking of the Common Law. Please make sure your pronunciation is flawless and your accents appropriate.
3. Know the Walk
- Many Gunners are content to raise their hands constantly and offer a few hypotheticals. Rarely does their Gunner Walk extend beyond these rather paltry activities.
- First and foremost, DO NOT RAISE YOUR HAND. Raising your hand is for an inferior waiting timidly to be called upon. A Legendary Gunner is second to NO man, including the professor. When the professor offers a statement you take exception to (which should be approximately 60-80% of all statements offered) you must IMMEDIATELY slam your fist onto the table and exclaim "I will not have you making a mockery of this classroom!" Following this outburst you must offer an extended explaination as to why the objectionable statement was/is wrong. Make sure to offer this explanation in the appropriate language as discussed above.
Also critical is your entrance and exit. You should arrive exactly 15 minutes early for each class in secure a seat that is in the center of the front row. If someone is currently sitting there you should clear your throat loudly and tap your foot until they get the picture. A Legendary Gunner must reign from his throne and he certainly cannot do this if it is occupied by a lesser being.
There are additional points I may offer to assist you including, but not limited to: Know the Thoughts, Know the Path, Know the Glory. As it stands I'll let you ponder these.
Sincerely offered for the approval of those assembled.
Lord Psycholomort Gunner Biographer, Historian, and Cataloguer.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110199) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:48 AM Author: ..,..,....,..,,,........,.,..,,...,..
excellent!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110213) |
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Date: May 7th, 2008 11:27 PM Author: Anything less would be uncivilized
"slam your fist onto the table and exclaim "I will not have you making a mockery of this classroom!"
lulz
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9751986) |

Date: February 17th, 2006 2:14 AM Author: MindTheGap76 (is semi-retired)
Get one of the small videocameras on a tripod that can sit on your desk to record class. (In undergrad, I was in a class with someone who did this).
When a student is being called on, turn the camera so that it is capturing that student. If necessary, lift the camera and aim it in the correct direction.
When you are being called on, pick the camera up, turn it around, and point it at yourself as you answer.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110416) |
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Date: May 7th, 2008 11:26 PM Author: Anything less would be uncivilized
"When you are being called on, pick the camera up, turn it around, and point it at yourself as you answer."
lmao
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9751982) |

Date: February 21st, 2006 1:51 PM Author: Pimp on Wheels (I made Pretzel cry and run away.)
Some of these have probably been mentioned, but for full effect ...
1) Be foreign - anything asian is preferrable.
2) When raising your hand, put it up and down repeatedly in almost a flurrying motion. Say, "oooh, oooh" as well in a Horseshackian way.
3) Over laugh at the profs stupid jokes. If he has a particularly lame joke, fall out of your seat laughing.
4) When the prof makes a particularly salient point, stand up and applaud in a raucous manner.
5) End each class by thanking the professor for his time.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5147821) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 12:24 AM Author: kubrickfan
When I was at UCB, I was the ultimate gunner. I wore a 3-piece gray pinstripe suit with a white silk dess shirt and a green silk tie everyday. Not to mention a fake rolex which I tried to mention as often as possible - "you just cannot find good timepieces anymore" - and cufflinks.
Never once did I take notes in class. I never bothered to raise my hand, and just spat out my comments, which I tried to do in a longwinded manner. I kept myself to a maximum of 2 5-minute speeches per class, though, as not to piss off the teacher too much and hurt my grades.
I aced every one of my classes, and graduated with a 4.0.
I used to rip on my professors and fellow students in a really meanspirited way, then end with "I kid, of course."
When I got a perfect GRE Q score, I mentioned it in every math and econ class. Once my trig 2 prof said to me "you're very proud of that, aern't you." To which I replied, "Frankly, I felt cheated. But, you must remember, the proctor was an a-rab, so I know what goes on."
It takes balls to say that at UCB.
In one class with no students or profs that I'd met before, I faked a british accent for an entire semester. It did wonders for me. I actually got the prof to write me a LOR in which he said how lucky he was to have such a great overseas student in his class, and that it took someone with "tremendous courage" to leave oxford because he found it too conservative.
When I was in class with a member of the campus republicans, I accused him of being a racist who wanted to "keep blacks and women in their place."
I always finished my exams before anyone. Once, I handed the prof an apple on the way into the test, on which I had written "35 minutes" with a sharpie. When I finished the test, I pointed to my watch and said, "Ohh, I was off by three minutes - it only took 32."
I am the ultimate gunner. I am legend. Now that I am at cornell, I tell people in the program that I am there only to bring up their USNWR rankings. I tell them that I cannot wait to transfer to Princeton or Harvard, where I will write a seperate dissertation for a second Ph.D in abnormal psychology dissecting the "ape-brains" at Cornell.
I also wear a yarmukle to class which I had handmade with stiching on the top reading "Perfect GRE."
I am also 6'5 and 230lb.
The ultimate gunning session was during a course on gender studies when we discussed religious people converting lesbians and gays. I stood up - got out of my fucking chair - and said "Let us suppose that we have a room full of lesbians," I began. Next, I snapped my fingers loudly and said "you throw me in there, problem solved."
I then bowed and sat down.
Prestigious?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5179826) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 2:43 AM Author: -tron-
"Once, I handed the prof an apple on the way into the test, on which I had written "35 minutes" with a sharpie. When I finished the test, I pointed to my watch and said, "Ohh, I was off by two minutes - it only took 32."
Your math skills are flawless.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588679) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:29 AM Author: kubrickfan
If you like the british accent, then you'll love my cellphone ringtone: The Charlie Rose theme song!
What's also great is alienating the whole class. One time, this kid used the word faggot, and I got up in front of the whole class and said, "I am a homosexual, and I think you are a racist pig. I'm going to report you to the dean."
So I told the professor about what happened when he walked in, and he made the student leave and apologized to me.
My G/f got a good laugh out of it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180314) |

Date: February 25th, 2006 3:15 AM Author: WhateverDood
Once you have a summer job at a law firm, bring memorabilia from your lawfirm to class. It is especially helpful if the lawfirm is slightly selective (meaning others in the class would have gotten dinged), but nothing special (so it isn't even that impressive). A coffee thermus works best. Be sure to point it in the direction of your law firm's logo out to the rest of the class, and only drink from it occasionally, being sure to carefully return it to the proper spot. The key of this is to have it there every class. Make sure everyone knows that you will have your trusty law firm mug at class every day.
Also, find a gunner friend and engage in this classic gunner team work:
Gunner 1: "Professor, I know we are in a rush to get through the material, but before we go on, I need to ask you this really specific, esoteric, obviously useless detailed question about the difference between S-Corps and LLCs and how they effect tax consequences." Then ask the question in a way that makes no sense.
The prof then avoids the question in an attempt not to embarass the gunner, sending subtle hints like "we need to move on" that he isn't interested in continuing the discussion.
Gunner 1 (without raising his hand, just talking): "But professor, that didn't really answer my question." Ask it again, but this time change it a little so it isn't even the same question, but again it doesn't make any sense.
By now the Prof is annoyed, but he tries again, again not answering the question because the question makes no sense.
Gunner 2: "But professor, what I think Gunner 1 was asking was..." (again, ask a slightly different question which also makes no sense).
If you do this well, it will become an episode that none of your classmates ever forget, you will hear loud signs around the room, and you will ruin about 30 minutes worth of class time. If you try to calculate how many thousands of dollars of tuition money you wasted, especially in a big class, no gunner could feel more proud.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180745) |

Date: February 25th, 2006 5:28 AM Author: majorporcupine
Great work guys! Just a few additional tips in building the legend of your gunnerdom:
1) Congratulate yourself after making any observation, especially ones that are extremely obvious. Give yourself the highest grade at your institution (e.g., "High Honors"/ "A+"/etc.).
2) As a 1L, casually begin any comments, inside or outside of class, with "As I will explain in my upcoming law review article..."
3) Have a framed picture of your prof on the desk. Occasionally stroke it.
4) Keep a small action figure on a miniature gallows. When a classmate contradicts you, stare at them and drop the trapdoor repeatedly.
5) Tape record yourself snickering. While classmates are getting hit with Socratic, hit the play button, but continue taking notes and giving encouraging smiles to the hapless victim.
6) If students leave the room for bathroom breaks or anything else, interrupt the professor to let everyone know you found that behavior disruptive.
7) Finally, when called on for questions, stand (you're obviously sitting front and center), walk up to the professor's podium and proceed to orate from there.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5181039) |

Date: February 27th, 2006 3:24 PM Author: TMF (I'm sportive!)
Don't forget the right equipment: Largest wheelie bag ever. Carry every book you own in it, and randomly smack into people as you arrive to class.
Stand when you speak. Also, eat as you speak.
Bring visual aids. Ask to use the board. If your prof uses visual aids then bring a laser pointer and use it to point to the areas you're "commenting" on.
Holding your hand gets tiring. Bring a desk bell.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5200589)
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Date: August 16th, 2007 11:18 PM Author: ,.,.,.....,.,.,.,.,.,.,,,,..,.,;,.,.,;,..,. .. ...
desk bell would be outstanding
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8525461) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2006 8:17 PM Author: kubrickfan
I pronounce this thread pointless, and, henceforth, over.
the best post was to talk so strongly and at such length that the gunner vomits, wipes his mouth off and goes right on gunning.
Priceless. I was sitting in bed reading the thread on my laptop while my g/f was asleep, and I laughed so loud that I woke her and the dog up.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5239612) |

Date: August 31st, 2006 5:31 PM Author: chickenpickin Subject: Speaking style
Instead of copping a British or whatever accent, you should talk in Americanize English, but make sure your sentences come off disjointed and emphasized in weird ways as if you are staggering under the weight of your own profundity just by answering. Remember to over ennunciate any word over 3 syllables and give a 5-10 second pause between every coherent thought so as to let the lesser mortals digest the depth of your genius. A good example today was in my TTT UG phil class:
Prof: ...yadda yadda yadda, circular logic fallacy, yadda yadda yadda...
*A student in the front middle of class careens his head sharply upward and strikes a look that can only be described as intense or constipated. The professor, who is standing about 3 feet from the student, pauses and asks him if he's alright*
Student: Yah... I was just, you know... I was trying to visualize a metaphor for what you were just describing... you know... pertaining to the circular logic fallacy... I always try to create visual metaphors as a study aid...
Prof (with a somewhat wry smile): Oh? Care to share what you've come up with?
Student: Well, its sort of like... you know, it's difficult to visualize an abstract... but I think a really creative way to look at it *looks around the room and basks for about 5 seconds in his own creativity* is building... you know, constructing with planks of wood... a stair case *flashes a satisfied smile and sits back*
Prof (with an air of apology to the rest of the class and an exaggerated eye roll): ANYway...
This all just happened so the memory is still painfully fresh; finding this thread was just the cathartic lift I needed. If Dante had known about TTTs, he would have given mine its own level in hell.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6534231) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 1:16 AM Author: Doogie (My cat can eat a whole watermelon)
Fill your rolly-bag with pensils (as much as will fit after your laptop, casebook, and pencil sharpener) and sharpen pencils over and over again, but never use them because you are only taking notes on your laptop (or your gunner shadow is taking your notes for you)
You may chew on, break, throw, and stab with your pencils, but never write with them.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588288) |

Date: September 10th, 2006 2:16 AM Author: ..,..,....,..,,,........,.,..,,...,..
Anything posted on this thread following Lord Psycholomort is pointless. Never will anyone top it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588576) |

Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:30 PM Author: packOFsmokes (i fuck like a champ)
two words: VIDEO RESUME.
Pack it with clips of you doing toolish shit, like lifting weights (fake a 500lb bench press if you have to), ballroom dancing and trying to be all philosophical and inspirational and shit. blast it out to every firm under the sun, as well as your classmates and profs.
remember, IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6906453) |

Date: November 2nd, 2006 2:20 PM Author: Poo Poo
You must not miss one single moment of lecture. Consequently, when listening and taking notes, urinate and defecate yourself whenever the urge arises and without second thought or hesitation. You must do so forcefully and loudly: you must not lose more than fleeting moments of concentration on such first order bodily functions. Maintain locked eye contact with the professor at all times during excretion. This can and should be done while standing and speaking as well without a pause or lapse in gunning. Your classmates will admire your dedication to classroom discussion.
You cannot change your clothes; instead you must remain at the law school studying and gunning well into the night. Your now-dried filth-stained garments are your badge of honor -- wear them proudly!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6906981) |

Date: November 2nd, 2006 3:00 PM Author: ........... ..,........., ........ ......,..., ...
stop turning this classic thread to shit
stop posting in it except to bump
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6907221) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 4:56 PM Author: -.-
sounds like an urban dictionary definition in the making...
Fertik (abbr): Fertile with flak
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#7885963) |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 9:33 PM Author: Loss Of Consortium
Thanks.
If there was an xoxo goldmine, this thread would be in it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8524898) |
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Date: August 17th, 2007 11:04 AM Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (UVA UVA UVA)
what do you do now? what was your lsat score?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8526706) |

Date: October 26th, 2007 1:53 AM Author: Timothy Bryce
Take notes with a stenotype machine.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8815169)
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Date: March 23rd, 2008 11:13 PM Author: decoherence
Use a laptop, but make sure you plug in an external mouse and keyboard.
Audibly chuckle to yourself after other people's comments.
When you raise your hand, if not called upon immediately, begin snapping your fingers at regular two-second intervals.
While droning on, begin massaging your temples. Close your eyes.
Loudly get up to take 10-minute bathroom breaks after each comment you make in class.
Bring a TI-89 and dramatically unsheath it at random points in each class.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9522012)
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Date: March 27th, 2008 11:40 PM Author: Lord Psycholomort
Recite 10 Holy Gunners before bed each night.
Holy Gunner, which art in contracts
Hallowed be thy game
Thy knowledge spun,
Thy gun be done, in class as it is in your dreams
Give us this day our pointless digression
And forgive us our silence, as we forgive them who comment without end
And lead us not into beat downs
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory. For ever and ever.
Srsly.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9542305)
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Date: October 23rd, 2008 10:50 PM Author: wynonna judd
This thread makes it clear that, all in all, being a gunner, especially a legendary gunner, is hard work.
Kudos to anyone out there who has achieved "legendary gunner" status. I wonder if Petro ever achieved it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#10291992) |
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