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Staten Island Brunch 2 (180) just dropped, here it is

Sequel is never as good as the original but it takes me an h...
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
...
hairless spectacular gas station
  08/28/26
...
charismatic double fault
  08/28/26
...
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
a neat crew cut with handsome salt and pepper 1 length on th...
tantric topaz wagecucks elastic band
  08/28/26
180
Violent Passionate Senate Pozpig
  08/28/26
180
Chocolate Laughsome Forum Death Wish
  08/28/26
...
Spruce stead
  08/28/26
Every fucking day for the last 15 years I’ve checked i...
sickened tan set gaming laptop
  08/28/26
...
crusty cuckoldry
  08/28/26
♥️
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
...
cobalt sinister therapy
  08/28/26
and boy do you have decisions to make…
Vigorous wrinkle hall
  08/28/26
...
beady-eyed step-uncle's house doctorate
  08/29/26
180 billion
Costumed genital piercing
  08/30/26
no less than 50 Pace college girls all dressed in short shor...
crusty cuckoldry
  08/28/26
...
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
...
rebellious really tough guy
  08/28/26
"Sequel is never as good as the original" fucki...
Bearded half-breed nursing home
  08/28/26
Never really got along with you on this board anyway lol. I ...
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
ljl at cumskin butthurt that at least one legendary poaster ...
Bearded half-breed nursing home
  08/28/26
Yeah let’s stop. I don’t like board confrontatio...
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
Link to your best 3 posts of the last 5 years? You really...
sickened tan set gaming laptop
  08/28/26
He’s always been a fuming mad pathetic little NOWAG lo...
Cerebral fat ankles business firm
  08/28/26
He’s not long for this world
mentally impaired associate sanctuary
  08/29/26
(Xo 2026) let’s celebrate mediocrity. During peak xo a...
Bearded half-breed nursing home
  08/29/26
is the implication that JLB and team hired the Sudanese guys...
Chestnut clown shitlib
  08/28/26
I guess it’s that these “national team” th...
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
no no right. no right. i get that. i'll just leave it at whe...
Chestnut clown shitlib
  08/28/26
I’ll make note of that for the third one on 2036.
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
This is going viral on Sudanese social medial
Cream candlestick maker
  08/28/26
...
Chestnut clown shitlib
  08/28/26
...
Appetizing shrine juggernaut
  08/28/26
...
Hot fanboi chapel
  08/29/26
"Ayyyy Jimmy! You lookin' for yer girl? She was headed ...
tantric topaz wagecucks elastic band
  08/28/26
...
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
Edited in your honor.
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
...
Cream candlestick maker
  08/28/26
...
Impertinent disrespectful range prole
  08/28/26
Nice to see the cop reprise his role, tough out there for ch...
Cerebral fat ankles business firm
  08/28/26
Yeah in between all this one day James invited Roberto to me...
stimulating crackhouse regret
  08/28/26
...
Fragrant bawdyhouse
  08/28/26
...
Appetizing shrine juggernaut
  08/28/26
Real talk I would hang out with Roberto and James Lovers-Bru...
mentally impaired associate sanctuary
  08/29/26
disappointed Roberto dropped the tight fitted dri-fit with t...
Lime Mischievous Sound Barrier
  08/29/26


Poast new message in this thread



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Date: August 28th, 2026 11:37 AM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret

Sequel is never as good as the original but it takes me an hour to take a shit now:

The sound of a crackling antenna radio and Bob Costas voice….

“And they did it! You can hear the enormous cheers from the city streets. As the United States shoots down its second plane into the Hudson River as it was approaching the south tower, avoiding the worst terrori—“

*alarm sounds as James Lovers-Brunch wakes up in a cold sweat*

“Thank god. Just a bad dream.”

James looks out his luxurious penthouse window towards downtown Manhattan as the sunrise reflects off the glass World Trade Center building.

“Today is the day…I become a world lacrosse champion!”

James heads to a local outdoor athletic field with his duffle bag with “France” facing outwards. He says “Today we play Sudan in the finals!”

As the game went on, the group of Sudanese ringers all looked confused as JLB and his friends scored goal after goal leading the game 31-0. As the final whistle blew, all of the members of the Sudanese took off running out of the complex.

JLB was confused. A Sudanese man approached dressed in traditional garb and replied to James’s confusion “They not know this game. In home country you’re killed if you lose game. They’re scared.”

James replied “How DARE you try to downplay my athletic accomplishments?”

At that moment a baseball rolled towards James foot. He said surprised “wait what-“

He looked up and saw a 5’10 Puerto Rican man, well built trim waist athletic forearms, Mizuno t shirt and a backwards SF giants hat. Huge grin. White teeth.

“How’s it going James?”

“Roberto!” James replied. “What are you doing here? Still trying to get picked up by an independent league team you LOSER?”

Roberto laughed and replied “Not exactly James. My son is 14 now. Just practicing—He’s trying to make varsity as a Freshman. My playing days are over but I still do it for them. Still got my hair though (*with a youthful grin takes off his hat and shows a neat crew cut with handsome salt and pepper 1 length on the sides*).

James “oh please! Kids at your height?”

Roberto replies with a smile “5 actually. These lifts did me well. They make cushion ones now.”

Before James could reply with insult, a beautiful 5’7 female holding a baby walks over and says to Roberto “hey the baby’s getting fussy, wanna head out?”

James jeers “oh are you sure these are his? You chose to reproduce with a short man!? I’m TALL!”

The woman looks on confused at James. Says to Roberto “um babe…let’s…go.”

Roberto grins and whispers to James. “Hey…so I’m due for a guys night out. Waddya you say we head downtown and check out the new Pace girls. There’s this bar I’ve been meaning to go to near Fulton. Like the old days.” Roberto winks.

James “you’re on! I’m gonna show you that short men CANNOT attract women.”

Roberto looks on slightly confused at James hostility trying to determine if it’s a joke considering the offer was a simple friends night out. Roberto replies “ok…so let’s meet at 8. Corner of Fulton and Broadway.”

That night JLB headed downtown with his gorgeous Ukrainian date who looked slightly annoyed. “This bar is gonna have a bunch of college kids.” JLB replied “don’t worry we’ll be outta here once we show this SHORTMO that he’s a LOSER!”

As JLB went to pay the bouncer put his hand out and said “don’t worry, Roberto took care of it for you guys. He’s inside.”

James went in and confronted Roberto, who was sitting in the VIP with two 19 year old college girls. Roberto said “don’t worry James. I threw my life savings in $MU at $64 last year and sold at $1000. Then threw it in DELL. I’m good. Caught up two generations of wealth” (*with a grin*)

James was seething. At that moment Modern Talking “Cheri Cheri Lady” starts playing. Roberto says “I love this song!”

He gets on the dance floor and leads a synchronized dance with no less than 50 Pace college girls all dressed in short shorts or short dresses. Everyone laughing…except James. James shouts “check his shoes! He’s wearing lifts!” But no one heard over the laughing, screaming and bottle throwing.

As the song stopped Roberto approached James and said “I’m hosting an after party in Staten Island..you’re welcome to come.”

James turns to his beautiful Ukrainian date and begins to say “We’re leaving for St. Tropez tomorrow. I wouldn’t be caught dead!” But when he turned she wasn’t there.

He asked the bartender “Did you see my date?!”

The bartender a man in his 40’s manipulating a rag in his hand says “ Ayyyy Jimmy! You lookin' for yer girl? She was headed to the Staten Island ferry. She was dressed for a party.”

James seething grabs the first cab he can find and says “take me to South Ferry!”

As James arrives he sprints through the ferry terminal to find out the ferry had already taken off. Roberto was at the front of the ferry packed with women and the Ukrainian model everyone waving their arms in unison as the party just started.

James grabs his cell phone to his helicopter pilot and yells “RIGHT NOW GET OVER HERE WE NEED TO GET TO STATEN ISLAND!”

Will James get his girl back? Will he make his flight to St. Tropez? Boy does he have decisions to make…

Thank you Judas Jones for the edit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099240)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 12:29 PM
Author: hairless spectacular gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099361)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 12:32 PM
Author: charismatic double fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099367)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 12:58 PM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099429)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:03 PM
Author: tantric topaz wagecucks elastic band

a neat crew cut with handsome salt and pepper 1 length on the sides

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099437)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:14 PM
Author: Violent Passionate Senate Pozpig

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099446)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:16 PM
Author: Chocolate Laughsome Forum Death Wish

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099450)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:18 PM
Author: Spruce stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099452)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:31 PM
Author: sickened tan set gaming laptop

Every fucking day for the last 15 years I’ve checked in on this shithole of a board waiting for this post, knowing it would never come, but needing to keep checking just to make sure.

And today… holy shit it’s here. It’s everything I’d hoped it’d be. 199. You are the king.

Need to go take a walk outside to think more about this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099471)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:39 PM
Author: crusty cuckoldry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099485)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 2:16 PM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret

♥️

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099566)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 2:17 PM
Author: cobalt sinister therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099568)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:55 PM
Author: Vigorous wrinkle hall

and boy do you have decisions to make…

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099835)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 10:20 AM
Author: beady-eyed step-uncle's house doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50101447)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 30th, 2026 2:55 PM
Author: Costumed genital piercing

180 billion

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50104170)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 1:39 PM
Author: crusty cuckoldry

no less than 50 Pace college girls all dressed in short shorts or short dresses

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099484)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 3:28 PM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099711)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 3:35 PM
Author: rebellious really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099718)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:24 PM
Author: Bearded half-breed nursing home

"Sequel is never as good as the original"

fucking understatement of the century. this sucked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099764)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:40 PM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret

Never really got along with you on this board anyway lol. I made this bc me and RSF are buddies and can poke fun like adults. We’re not hostile like some maniac who has made an entry into every prostitution thread for the last 25 years and blank bumps it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099796)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: Bearded half-breed nursing home

ljl at cumskin butthurt that at least one legendary poaster still has the integrity to call out a shit thread. riding on nostalgia is not talent. hack.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099932)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 5:43 PM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret

Yeah let’s stop. I don’t like board confrontation. Thanks for your honesty.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099940)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:05 PM
Author: sickened tan set gaming laptop

Link to your best 3 posts of the last 5 years?

You really turned into a nasty lonely middle aged man.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50100098)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:21 PM
Author: Cerebral fat ankles business firm

He’s always been a fuming mad pathetic little NOWAG loser

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50100134)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 9:48 AM
Author: mentally impaired associate sanctuary

He’s not long for this world

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50101400)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 11:37 AM
Author: Bearded half-breed nursing home

(Xo 2026) let’s celebrate mediocrity. During peak xo a thread this weak would have received two bumps and be forgotten. This is less than ai goy slop and I’m the only historic poaster willing to call it out. First Brunch was 177. This sad attempt is 160.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50101561)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:36 PM
Author: Chestnut clown shitlib

is the implication that JLB and team hired the Sudanese guys as patsies?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099791)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:40 PM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret

I guess it’s that these “national team” things after college are largely flame with no competition. One of my buddies played on the Ireland national team for baseball and they would lose to an average high school team in the Us.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099794)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:50 PM
Author: Chestnut clown shitlib

no no right. no right. i get that. i'll just leave it at when i first looked up this world lacrosse champsionship thing i was ooohhhh man ifykwim.

but more importantly, i fear JLB is becoming a shallow one-note sort of Wile E. Coyote / Yosemite Sam character. bumbling around and occasionally growling. also, the nightclub scene would be a good spectacle but it's just ... Home Alone 2 or i can't even think of comparable schlockiness

look, i get it. you want to cash in on this one. I was "Rocky" and this is "Rocky V". but maybe we could give JLB and Roberto the human treatment after we release this as next summer's tentpole?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099818)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:53 PM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret

I’ll make note of that for the third one on 2036.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099826)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:41 PM
Author: Cream candlestick maker

This is going viral on Sudanese social medial

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099798)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:50 PM
Author: Chestnut clown shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099822)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:24 PM
Author: Appetizing shrine juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50100145)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 10:56 AM
Author: Hot fanboi chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50101488)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:53 PM
Author: tantric topaz wagecucks elastic band

"Ayyyy Jimmy! You lookin' for yer girl? She was headed to the Staten Island ferry. She was dressed for a party."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099829)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:58 PM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099850)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 4:59 PM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret

Edited in your honor.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50099860)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 6:53 PM
Author: Cream candlestick maker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50100070)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:19 PM
Author: Impertinent disrespectful range prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50100131)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:20 PM
Author: Cerebral fat ankles business firm

Nice to see the cop reprise his role, tough out there for character actors. Would Jimmy and JLB have been familiar enough to want to go out for drinks, even if they both have ulterior motives?I don’t recall direct interactions between them in the original.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50100133)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:30 PM
Author: stimulating crackhouse regret

Yeah in between all this one day James invited Roberto to meet him outside of a building near Fulton and Roberto waited for 30 minutes poasting for Jimmy to come down and he didn’t. Then he tried to set up an arrangement to meet in March of this year and Jimmy stood him up again. Maybe next time he’s in NYC they can link up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50100153)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:21 PM
Author: Fragrant bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50100136)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 28th, 2026 7:25 PM
Author: Appetizing shrine juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50100146)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 10:01 AM
Author: mentally impaired associate sanctuary

Real talk I would hang out with Roberto and James Lovers-Brunch and hit on girls 20 years younger than us in the East Village

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50101420)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2026 11:41 AM
Author: Lime Mischievous Sound Barrier

disappointed Roberto dropped the tight fitted dri-fit with the griffey logo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5898334&forum_id=2/en-en/#50101574)