I'm in town for a fishing trip with my cousin and an old friend. I only see these guys like every 2-3 years at this point. It's 6:44 am right now and we are just out on the water now. At like 5 am we had to go to his ex wife's parents house to get a key to their storage unit from her. Already was like 4 IPA beers deep for the day cause we try to go hard on fishing trips. I'm really buzzed cause I don't drink anymore.

She stays there when she is in town for work and to see their kid. I've been to this house before for 4th of july parties etc. Back in the day.

They had an extremely bitter divorce so he sends me in to get the key. Now I've known her for almost 20 years and she was always nice to me. She had me help her look for the key, she's staying in her childhood bedroom., old cheer pics on the wall etc. I said to her half jokingly (she knows my sense of humor) "are these recent pics? you look the same now as you did then" and she said that wasn't funny, she just hit 160 on the scale and she hates herself for it (she's like 5'1).

Now for some reason in my head I was thinking if she's really that weight she could be useful so I laid face down on the bed and asked her to put her full bodyweight on my back with her knees cause my upper back was sore from flying coach.. I have some kind of knot in my scapula. She did and it felt amazing, like the best deep tissue massage, I almost passed out it was so painful but exhilarating. I turned over and her shirt was off, she basically put her tit in my mouth . Then she said "the last thing I had in me was a q tip" and i said what? And she said "(husband's name)'s dick" she pulled my dick out and started sucking it. My dick actually looked fairly decent sized in her tiny hands. I ejaculated really quickly and she hadn't even got bottomless.

Now I knew I'd need a reason to tell the guys why I was in there so long so I asked if I could take a shower. I took like a 60 second shower just long enough to get my hair wet because I was gonna tell the guys I took a shit and had really bad mud ass and had to shower to get a truly clean ass. When I got out of the shower she came in and I only had my boxers on and she saw I had a boner and she pulled me out to the room again and bent over the edge of the bed and basically made me do intercourse. I have a short refractory period with new women. She asked me to finish in her and I did. I didn't initiate any of this and feel really blindsided and used. But im wondering if she thought i was coming on to her with the massage thing. I know guys used to do that back in the day. Friend is teasing me about shitting they totally bought my story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5881023&forum_id=2/en-en/#49988054)

i think we look like easy targets to these predators

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5881023&forum_id=2/en-en/#49988858)

You ain’t get “blindsided,” unc. You walked in there drunk at five in the morning talmbout a girl look the same as her cheer pictures, then laid face first down on her bed.

Now you on the boat tryna act like the lake got hands.

And “last thing I had in me was a q-tip” is crazy work.

Whole story sound like a fish made it up after finding a vape in the reeds. fr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5881023&forum_id=2/en-en/#49988873)