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Non Lawyer here, I don’t get the “No Litigators” joke

Aren’t these guys prestigious? They’re the ones ...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
It is impossible for litigators to move in-house.
Provocative Fat Ankles
  04/04/26
why? can't they learn all that in house stuff on the job
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
found the litigator
contagious poppy business firm round eye
  04/04/26
...
pale stage juggernaut
  04/04/26
...
Soul-stirring volcanic crater site
  04/04/26
Doing M&A is like Matching on Match Day. The less &ldquo...
Gay free-loading laser beams resort
  04/04/26
...
outnumbered parlor
  04/04/26
so M&A lawyers are the best? they're like neurosurgeons?...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
A lawyer who actually practices law is Scum, not unlike an E...
Gay free-loading laser beams resort
  04/04/26
what are the best Fake Jobs out there why isn't litigator...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
Talking in court is stressful and involves actual work. Not ...
Dull Chad Nursing Home
  04/04/26
when is being a litigator the right career move? Would David...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
Product motherfuckin' Management
Gay free-loading laser beams resort
  04/04/26
As a litigator, this is very cr. Unless you own your own ...
pale stage juggernaut
  04/04/26
what makes litigators successful vs those that dont? doesnt ...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
biglaw is the perfect example of what everyone aspires to be...
Soul-stirring volcanic crater site
  04/04/26
Do you realize how much shit you have to eat and then smile ...
pale stage juggernaut
  04/04/26
a friend of mine spent years as a AUSA then became a biglaw ...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
lol @ AUSA calling themselves "trial lawyers" D...
pale stage juggernaut
  04/04/26
ok but my point still stands about their specialization as l...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
"specialization" in prosecuting: - kiddie porn-...
pale stage juggernaut
  04/04/26
enough where they got a biglaw job and became partner soon a...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
Yeah, because the only criminal defense BIGLAW does is gover...
pale stage juggernaut
  04/04/26
govt investigations and white collar crime pros is a fake jo...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
"Oh no...we might get hit with fines and an embarrassin...
pale stage juggernaut
  04/04/26
*goes to jail for 20 years*
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
lol, when as a CorpBro gone to POUNDMYASS State Prison?
pale stage juggernaut
  04/04/26
POUNDMYFACE FedPrison https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
You had to go back over 15 fucking years to find a CorpBro w...
pale stage juggernaut
  04/04/26
https://decrypt.co/314424/sbf-victimville-violent-prisons-ca...
well-lubricated locus
  04/04/26
don't forget all the white collar crime and gun shit. Oh wow...
Soul-stirring volcanic crater site
  04/04/26
...
pale stage juggernaut
  04/05/26
Dermatologists should keep pamphlets in their office on Cliq...
Soul-stirring volcanic crater site
  04/04/26
Why do some of these Nerds/Losers get acne so bad? Never fig...
Gay free-loading laser beams resort
  04/04/26
it's a causation issue. It's not that Nerd/Losers disproport...
Soul-stirring volcanic crater site
  04/04/26
Why don’t college athletes have acne Also NBA seems...
Gay free-loading laser beams resort
  04/04/26
the real question is how many Losers could have become colle...
Soul-stirring volcanic crater site
  04/04/26
Losers don’t get disenfranchised bc they suck at sport...
Gay free-loading laser beams resort
  04/05/26
Hell is other litigators
shivering institution tattoo
  04/04/26
...
pale stage juggernaut
  04/05/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 10:36 AM
Author: well-lubricated locus

Aren’t these guys prestigious? They’re the ones who argue in front of SCOTUS right? Why would they be shunned in favor of some paper pushing corporate lawyers

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793111)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 10:56 AM
Author: Provocative Fat Ankles

It is impossible for litigators to move in-house.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793136)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 11:07 AM
Author: well-lubricated locus

why? can't they learn all that in house stuff on the job

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 10:58 AM
Author: contagious poppy business firm round eye

found the litigator

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793139)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:26 PM
Author: pale stage juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793876)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:27 PM
Author: Soul-stirring volcanic crater site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793879)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 11:11 AM
Author: Gay free-loading laser beams resort

Doing M&A is like Matching on Match Day. The less “lawyery” the lawyer’s job, the more prestigious and sought-after he is. The litigator has to actually argue things in “court” like a shitlawyer

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 11:12 AM
Author: outnumbered parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793162)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 11:19 AM
Author: well-lubricated locus

so M&A lawyers are the best? they're like neurosurgeons?

what would litigators be then, internists?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793171)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 11:44 AM
Author: Gay free-loading laser beams resort

A lawyer who actually practices law is Scum, not unlike an ER doctor covered in blood and shit and exposed to tons of Viruses constantly saving thousands of lives and making 188k

Fake Jobs are where the money is. An anesthesiologist turning Knobs exquisitely like the conductor of a Symphony. A Dermatologist examining patient phenotypes. A neurosurgeon, yeah, maybe. Also he might get Sued if he fucks the brain up. One wrong move, champ.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793243)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:03 PM
Author: well-lubricated locus

what are the best Fake Jobs out there

why isn't litigator considered one

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793838)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:31 PM
Author: Dull Chad Nursing Home

Talking in court is stressful and involves actual work. Not a true Fake Job. a good Fake Job allows you to pass of your work to an LLM, casually check the work and then inflate your billables by 60%

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793889)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:34 PM
Author: well-lubricated locus

when is being a litigator the right career move? Would David Boies have been better off being an M&A lawyer

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793897)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: Gay free-loading laser beams resort

Product

motherfuckin'

Management

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793898)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:27 PM
Author: pale stage juggernaut

As a litigator, this is very cr.

Unless you own your own shop, nobody is paying Litigators top dollar for what they do.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793881)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:29 PM
Author: well-lubricated locus

what makes litigators successful vs those that dont? doesnt biglaw have litigator partners making millions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793886)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: Soul-stirring volcanic crater site

biglaw is the perfect example of what everyone aspires to be when they take the LSAT but the cold hard truth is akin to George Carlin's giant club that you ain't in. More than half of attorneys are Women and maybe 10% of those women (5% of the total number of LSAT takers) will actually stay in the profession more than 10 years

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793899)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:45 PM
Author: pale stage juggernaut

Do you realize how much shit you have to eat and then smile for more in order to make it as a partner in BIGLAW?

Then there's the fact that BIGLAW hardly goes to trial. You won't see the inside of a courtroom until you're a mid-level associate, let along actually first chair a case.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793922)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:47 PM
Author: well-lubricated locus

a friend of mine spent years as a AUSA then became a biglaw litigator then partner, it doesn't seem as bad as xo makes it out to be

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793924)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:49 PM
Author: pale stage juggernaut

lol @ AUSA calling themselves "trial lawyers"

Depending on what they do, they aren't seeing a fraction of trial experience as StateBros

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793926)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:51 PM
Author: well-lubricated locus

ok but my point still stands about their specialization as litigators. this friend worked in the criminal division

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793927)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:51 PM
Author: pale stage juggernaut

"specialization" in prosecuting:

- kiddie porn-havers; &

- convicted felons in possession of firearms

not much heavy lifting.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793928)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:53 PM
Author: well-lubricated locus

enough where they got a biglaw job and became partner soon after with mostly AUSA experience

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793933)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:00 PM
Author: pale stage juggernaut

Yeah, because the only criminal defense BIGLAW does is government investigations and other white collar shit.

Hence, fake jobs. Nobody in BIGLAW is looking for a litigator who has experience handling murders and sexual assaults.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793949)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:03 PM
Author: well-lubricated locus

govt investigations and white collar crime pros is a fake job?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793954)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:29 PM
Author: pale stage juggernaut

"Oh no...we might get hit with fines and an embarrassing press release"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794012)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:38 PM
Author: well-lubricated locus

*goes to jail for 20 years*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794034)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:39 PM
Author: pale stage juggernaut

lol, when as a CorpBro gone to POUNDMYASS State Prison?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794036)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:42 PM
Author: well-lubricated locus

POUNDMYFACE FedPrison

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2010/03/madoff_prison_beating.html

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794043)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:45 PM
Author: pale stage juggernaut

You had to go back over 15 fucking years to find a CorpBro who got treated like a Nigga and sent to prison?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794045)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:49 PM
Author: well-lubricated locus

https://decrypt.co/314424/sbf-victimville-violent-prisons-california

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794052)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 7:01 PM
Author: Soul-stirring volcanic crater site

don't forget all the white collar crime and gun shit. Oh wow what a DEFENDER OF ARE FREEDOMS: you got 20 years on someone for 3d printing a gun

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794091)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 5th, 2026 1:10 AM
Author: pale stage juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794782)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:28 PM
Author: Soul-stirring volcanic crater site

Dermatologists should keep pamphlets in their office on Clique Theory like my Chiropractor has for dog chiropractics.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793885)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: Gay free-loading laser beams resort

Why do some of these Nerds/Losers get acne so bad? Never figured that out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793900)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 5:38 PM
Author: Soul-stirring volcanic crater site

it's a causation issue. It's not that Nerd/Losers disproportionately get acne. I'm a Scumgineer and never had acne besides a couple pimples in my teens. I knew kids who looked like their face went through a pizza grater. Phenotype matters here; the acne kids who realize this will usually develop into Nerds. The rest are Losers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49793905)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 6:42 PM
Author: Gay free-loading laser beams resort

Why don’t college athletes have acne

Also NBA seems less bald vs irl if anything

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794042)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 7:02 PM
Author: Soul-stirring volcanic crater site

the real question is how many Losers could have become college athletes but didn't because of acne

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794094)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 5th, 2026 11:55 AM
Author: Gay free-loading laser beams resort

Losers don’t get disenfranchised bc they suck at sports imo but coaches usually don’t take kindly to Scumjocks, however talented they may be.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49795371)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2026 9:14 PM
Author: shivering institution tattoo

Hell is other litigators

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794377)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 5th, 2026 1:11 AM
Author: pale stage juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2в#49794784)