The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world.
|
 |
 
|
Boomer making his stepson donate a kidney to a total stranger
| queensbridge benzo | 06/07/26 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 7th, 2026 10:28 AM Author: queensbridge benzo A 22-year-old in my family is being evaluated as a living kidney donor for a man he barely knows (a colleague of his stepfather’s). From what I can tell, the stepfather suggested him as the donor, and the process accelerated quickly from there.
This young person is kindhearted but somewhat vulnerable and eager to please. He has embraced this as a “selfless act,” but I worry that such framing, combined with strong family encouragement, may be substituting for a fully independent choice.
There’s been little discussion of the real costs — recovery, finances, long-term health — and I’m not convinced the transplant team sees the family dynamics behind this decision.
At the same time, his father, in poor health, has told him to “save” the kidney for him — another form of pressure pulling in the opposite direction. I’m not close to him, and I don’t think he’ll advocate for himself. This feels less like a free choice and more like a young person being pulled by competing agendas.
Is there a responsible way to intervene? Or is this something I have to accept? — Name Withheld
From the Ethicist:
Transplant programs are supposed to assign an independent advocate (or advocate team) to a living donor, who must also undergo a psychosocial evaluation. The fact that this young man is being pressured by his stepfather to donate a kidney to the stepfather’s friend, while his father is urging him to “save” it for him, is very much the sort of thing that the advocate and the people doing the psychosocial evaluation should know about.
The circumstances you describe don’t mean he is incapable of consenting freely. Still, you’re not wrong to be concerned. Your role isn’t to argue for or against the donation. If you can speak with him, ask whether he has discussed these pressures with the advocate and evaluators. You can also make plain that he can stop the process at any point, and that he owes no one an explanation if he does.
|