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told female friend tonight how much i wanted to eat her out...

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM Author: Bristol Palin's ret...
Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry
  10/15/14
...
Crusty appetizing mad cow disease
  10/15/14
Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by sur...
bearded judgmental jew
  10/15/14
I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911&qu...
Chrome philosopher-king
  10/15/14
sooo good
Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry
  10/15/14
dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form ...
pungent cerebral faggot firefighter party of the first part
  10/15/14
Always great
180 trailer park degenerate
  10/15/14
...
Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry
  10/17/14
!!!
Pale Box Office Hunting Ground
  10/17/14
wtf
Idiotic Honey-headed Legend Institution
  10/17/14
This is embarrassing
Dead Impertinent Shrine Sandwich
  10/17/14
fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily comp...
Orchid racy keepsake machete fanboi
  10/17/14
I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique ...
Trip Brunch Codepig
  10/17/14
yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good wor...
Vibrant cruel-hearted preventive strike affirmative action
  10/17/14
thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen ...
Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry
  10/17/14
can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madelin...
Dull apoplectic patrolman
  11/05/14
I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort...
spruce pit
  10/17/14
...
Vibrant cruel-hearted preventive strike affirmative action
  10/26/14
...
lime property
  10/26/14
...
Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry
  11/05/14
Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading...
obsidian concupiscible haunted graveyard den
  11/05/14
Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the wh...
Contagious bistre chad giraffe
  11/05/14
oh ho!
up-to-no-good base ratface
  11/05/14
my favorite line
ruby round eye
  06/08/26
never caught this one until now. thnx.
jet sticky spot stain
  11/05/14
...
beta abode striped hyena
  06/06/20
...
Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry
  02/11/22
...
confused massive scourge upon the earth
  03/05/22
tyft
Offensive emerald voyeur old irish cottage
  03/05/22
...
Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry
  06/08/26
Important bump
Titillating brindle partner native
  06/08/26
...
Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry
  06/08/26
Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 mon...
Bateful hospital
  06/08/26
...
Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry
  06/10/26
I wonder what he's up to now
Chrome philosopher-king
  06/10/26
playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue
razzmatazz bat shit crazy parlor
  06/10/26
Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for ince...
Soul-stirring Sneaky Criminal Friendly Grandma
  06/10/26
I suspect that was gunnerattt tp
Sadistic Curious National Yarmulke
  06/10/26
...
stimulating vermilion garrison dragon
  06/10/26
...
Big hyperactive mexican jewess
  06/10/26
I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central ...
Soul-stirring Sneaky Criminal Friendly Grandma
  06/10/26
the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausti...
ultramarine razzle-dazzle field
  06/10/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 6:43 AM
Author: Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM

Author: Bristol Palin's retarded incest baby (You keep calling me Babu. It's Singh, mother fucker.)

though i certainly intended to flirt with her, i had not seriously considered telling her that i fantasized about eating her out ( which i do) it just came up.

see she was talking to me about this loserfuck ( she actually did call him a loser) she is obsessed with for reasons she herself does not understand. he is some low level officer in the navy while she is off to the peace corps in february. she is obsessed with him but according to her he doesn't give a crap about her, just using her as a convenient booty call. she told me the guy was so vapid and beneath her and low class and emotionally cold and yada yada but that she couldn't stop thinking about him and obsessing over him etc.

she asks me what she should do and i just tell her not to get too emotional or romantic about him, since the peace corps will end all chance for a relationship and probably change the very things she finds attractive in a man.

Now at this point in time i am thinking my friend's attachment to this douche is physical. she is VERY sexual, the relationship she describes sounds like a fuck buddy relationship gone complicated, and in my head i am imagining a buff navy jock.

so i add....." if the fucking is good just use him as a living dildo ..." but the fucking ISN'T good" she exclaims . what to do you mean i ask " he doesn't care about me , even in bed he is a very selfish lover"

Now i am a virgin, but i am pretty aware of what this phrase means. not only that, but i am aware my friend loves to get eaten out, how do i know this? because she has a guide to eating out pussy on her fucking myspace. its literally the first thing you see, and its been there for at least a year.

"so he doesn''t go down on you " i tell her. she looks slightly shocked." well i know you like to get eaten out since you have a guide for it on your myspace"

she starts laughing, but after a bit she looks at me and she sya " i do love it" she says , and blushes. " he never doesit " she complains. well why would he, if he knows he can just fuck you ?

" yeah he doesn't even have to ask we just get alone and im on him,but it sucks every time!"

now this entire conversation i have had my left arm over her shoulders, this conversation has taken place in the form of conspiratorial whispers in each others ears. at this point in time i lean in. " you know that time we went dancing at passion and you had that black skirt on" " yeah" only then did i notice you have great legs ( she laughs) ever since then i have wanted to eat you out,( oh ho! she says) you don't have to do anything ( Noo she says and starts slowlly but firmly pushing me away with both hands) " you don't have to do anything just lie there and enjoy and of course tell me what yu want ( she keeps pushing me slowly away) " i won't even take off my clothes, ill put a cell phone in your hand so you can call the cops if i dosomething you don't want" ( at this point she says my name and says no firmly.)

I look at her for twenty or so seconds and then say " allright" I scoot away so there is a good 30 inches of space separating us. the next couple of minutes are somewhat awkward. but Ten minutes later we are talking like NOTHING happened.

we then continued a series of raucus and interesting conversations, even returning to the navy guy, but also discussing the peace corps the imminent start for law school for me , the craziness of central african nations. we talked for another THREE AND A HALF hours after my very explicit comeon and there was no akwardness or sign of damage to our friendhsip.

we are hanging out again on saturday.

oh and the setting was a small bar/restaurant with these little nooks and such.

and for those who are going to tell me that i came on as desperate and that i am FRIENDZONEPWNED be aware i am already aware of this . i am resigned to my fate. she was never long term girlfriend material and icertainly have no romantic feelings towards her.

she is just a funny supercool latina CGWBT. if all i can be with her is friends ill gladly take the friendship.

why can't more girls be like this? THIS is how you turn down a pass, you don't have to go ahead and make the guy asahmed that he has a cock betweeen his legs. my friend was very firm, but she did not make me feel bad or guilty or anything. learn from this girls.

( http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=675218&forum_id=2#8544713 )

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26519775)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 7:00 AM
Author: Crusty appetizing mad cow disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26519788)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:11 AM
Author: bearded judgmental jew

Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by surprise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26519900)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:29 AM
Author: Chrome philosopher-king

I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911" meme, thanks for the reminder. I'll just circle back when I need a quick laugh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26519953)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:08 PM
Author: Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry

sooo good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26522226)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:09 PM
Author: pungent cerebral faggot firefighter party of the first part

dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26522233)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:16 PM
Author: 180 trailer park degenerate

Always great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26522297)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:30 PM
Author: Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26538501)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: Pale Box Office Hunting Ground

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26538515)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: Idiotic Honey-headed Legend Institution

wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26538516)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:35 PM
Author: Dead Impertinent Shrine Sandwich

This is embarrassing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26538531)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:37 PM
Author: Orchid racy keepsake machete fanboi

fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily completely consumed by this story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26538541)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:42 PM
Author: Trip Brunch Codepig

I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique post.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26538567)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:45 PM
Author: Vibrant cruel-hearted preventive strike affirmative action

yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good work around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26538588)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:48 PM
Author: Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry

thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700246&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26538619)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 9:23 AM
Author: Dull apoplectic patrolman

can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madeline "numbah two" chen?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26653055)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:51 PM
Author: spruce pit

I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort lexicon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26538650)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: Vibrant cruel-hearted preventive strike affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26587986)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: lime property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26587988)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 5:45 AM
Author: Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26652645)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:29 AM
Author: obsidian concupiscible haunted graveyard den

Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading on xo. Getting a little teary eyed here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26653282)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:31 AM
Author: Contagious bistre chad giraffe

Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the whole weekend?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26653296)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:18 AM
Author: up-to-no-good base ratface

oh ho!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26653485)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 10:16 AM
Author: ruby round eye

my favorite line

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49922129)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:25 AM
Author: jet sticky spot stain

never caught this one until now. thnx.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#26653508)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 6th, 2020 7:53 PM
Author: beta abode striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#40365552)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2022 10:19 PM
Author: Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#43954057)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: confused massive scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#44089135)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:15 AM
Author: Offensive emerald voyeur old irish cottage

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#44089181)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:20 AM
Author: Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49921834)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:31 AM
Author: Titillating brindle partner native

Important bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49921844)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:10 PM
Author: Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49922845)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:13 PM
Author: Bateful hospital

Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49922870)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:35 PM
Author: Godawful Therapy Dingle Berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49927940)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:41 PM
Author: Chrome philosopher-king

I wonder what he's up to now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49927942)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:46 PM
Author: razzmatazz bat shit crazy parlor

playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49927950)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:53 PM
Author: Soul-stirring Sneaky Criminal Friendly Grandma

Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for incest with mama.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DEdwvcZOaqH/?img_index=1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49927960)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:57 PM
Author: Sadistic Curious National Yarmulke

I suspect that was gunnerattt tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49927967)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 11:01 PM
Author: stimulating vermilion garrison dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49929626)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:44 PM
Author: Big hyperactive mexican jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49927947)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:47 PM
Author: Soul-stirring Sneaky Criminal Friendly Grandma

I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central African nations. Amazing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49927953)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 3:03 PM
Author: ultramarine razzle-dazzle field

the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausting hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2…id#49928176)