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Wife found my second phone today, I'm cooked

Pretty much using it for what you think. Stupid emergency al...
Nubile Point Police Squad
  07/15/26
“using it for what you think” Arranging hiking ...
Flushed bat shit crazy indian lodge kitty
  07/15/26
say it wasn’t you
Multi-colored spot
  07/15/26
The Shaggy Defense
alcoholic slimy whorehouse mood
  07/15/26
...
Underhanded dashing theater
  07/15/26
...
Multi-colored spot
  07/16/26
you found the phone last night and didn't have time to turn ...
Pontificating stead
  07/15/26
no no no no details "idk what that phone is." ...
Hairraiser faggot firefighter ape
  07/15/26
no I disagree. that would only work if there was a plausible...
Pontificating stead
  07/15/26
found it and hid it under a stack of papers in a drawer?
Plum laughsome menage turdskin
  07/15/26
lol, fully charged, btw
Orchid quadroon weed whacker
  07/15/26
idiotic
umber sanctuary
  07/15/26
explain
Hairraiser faggot firefighter ape
  07/17/26
Oh I guess I should've added it's my old phone so she recogn...
Nubile Point Police Squad
  07/15/26
say you lost your current phone and was setting that up to r...
Pontificating stead
  07/15/26
"you know that dadaist message board where I pretend to...
Hairraiser faggot firefighter ape
  07/15/26
You're retarded if you admit to the capability to open it. ...
Garnet abode
  07/15/26
This seems good. But don’t claim vacay pics or somethi...
Flushed bat shit crazy indian lodge kitty
  07/15/26
I'm glad someone chimed in with understanding of whatever it...
Garnet abode
  07/15/26
idk he could plausibly have old pics on there that aren't sy...
Pontificating stead
  07/15/26
Actually EPAH is highly suspect when it comes to expertise o...
Pink location dog poop
  07/15/26
This seems like the best idea and way better than the dumbas...
Nubile Point Police Squad
  07/15/26
Hopefully you didn't use the same password on it as you do f...
Garnet abode
  07/15/26
could be fucked if it has face id and she already tried to g...
Pontificating stead
  07/15/26
This scenario would call for the immediate growth of a beard
Flushed bat shit crazy indian lodge kitty
  07/15/26
...
Pontificating stead
  07/15/26
Hmm. Better safe than sorry. Scribble a fake mustache and be...
Garnet abode
  07/15/26
...
ebony state
  07/15/26
...
Orchid quadroon weed whacker
  07/15/26
...
titillating cowardly school travel guidebook
  07/15/26
...
umber sanctuary
  07/15/26
...
Awkward cracking theatre cuckold
  07/15/26
...
charismatic glassy field electric furnace
  07/15/26
...
bright hyperactive parlor fanboi
  07/15/26
cr
Pontificating stead
  07/15/26
lol doy. Say yea I keep it charged and use it to read xo and...
tripping skinny woman kitchen
  07/15/26
Trying to recover crypto
titillating cowardly school travel guidebook
  07/15/26
...
maize psychic
  07/15/26
you're chopped, unc
Flatulent filthpig
  07/15/26
does it make a wet plopping noise when the jew cum spurting ...
galvanic gay wizard
  07/15/26
Old work phone? "Try" to unlock it numerous times ...
wine stage stock car
  07/15/26
This is exactly why they've done away with removable batteri...
Garnet abode
  07/15/26
...
Rose mind-boggling public bath jap
  07/16/26
Just say it’s an old phone that you were seeing if wor...
Free-loading area new version
  07/15/26
Can’t you wipe it remotely?
Infuriating elastic band volcanic crater
  07/15/26
lol that would make it way worse. Just say you kept it aroun...
tripping skinny woman kitchen
  07/15/26
Good but not good enough if he has incriminating evidence al...
Exciting mother fat ankles
  07/15/26
THANK YOU! Cuz why the fuck didn't he anticipate a nosey ...
Orchid quadroon weed whacker
  07/16/26
ctrl-f "grow a beard" jfc this place is retarde...
talented university mediation
  07/15/26
What if you have a beard already?
splenetic emerald church gaming laptop
  07/16/26
marry a beard
jade yarmulke
  07/17/26
Thank god i never have to deal with that nonsense
Insecure Piazza
  07/15/26
Your poasting has been pretty wild and erratic lately, maybe...
titillating cowardly school travel guidebook
  07/15/26
he's doing great
talented university mediation
  07/15/26
...
Rose mind-boggling public bath jap
  07/17/26
Assuming it's an iphone, can you remote wipe it or some shit...
Orchid quadroon weed whacker
  07/15/26
under no circumstances can he unlock it
umber sanctuary
  07/15/26
Yeah he’s better off remote wiping it. If she makes hi...
ebony state
  07/15/26
This works with Androids too.
Underhanded dashing theater
  07/15/26
Just say "Disah no wat you tink!"
Thirsty internal respiration lodge
  07/15/26
OP i will flood it with messages from my irl # about crypto ...
umber sanctuary
  07/15/26
Actually, just get a burner phone and start sending messages...
Underhanded dashing theater
  07/15/26
...
Rose mind-boggling public bath jap
  07/16/26
If you have kids: Wipe it remotely then say: “I&rs...
insanely creepy wonderful idiot national
  07/15/26
This assumes you have a kid that doesn't have a phone and ne...
Underhanded dashing theater
  07/15/26
text her right now telling her to leave it alone because it'...
topaz up-to-no-good windowlicker crackhouse
  07/15/26
Never let'em know your next move!
Orchid quadroon weed whacker
  07/16/26
turn it back around on her and claim the phone is hers
disgusting nursing home nibblets
  07/15/26
This could actually work
ebony state
  07/15/26
Fucking love this
Garnet abode
  07/15/26
...
talented university mediation
  07/15/26
...
hideous chad
  07/15/26
darvomaxxing tp
High-end Excitant Hall
  07/15/26
Bird Brain Masterman
sadistic sex offender
  07/15/26
...
Rose mind-boggling public bath jap
  07/17/26
...
Hairraiser faggot firefighter ape
  07/16/26
...
bespoke electric meetinghouse
  07/16/26
...
histrionic plaza ratface
  07/17/26
*clears throat* *raises hand* haha u r fukt
Thirsty internal respiration lodge
  07/15/26
...
Orchid quadroon weed whacker
  07/16/26
Second phone is as fake as the "wife" conjured up ...
galvanic gay wizard
  07/15/26
...
crystalline nighttime newt
  07/15/26
Dying for an update. Thinking positive thoughts. It&rsqu...
dun floppy school cafeteria
  07/15/26
Need update OP
titillating cowardly school travel guidebook
  07/15/26
Hide other phones randomly around the house and claim they'r...
fantasy-prone mewling resort mental disorder
  07/15/26
Lol
dun floppy school cafeteria
  07/16/26
Great thread
charismatic glassy field electric furnace
  07/15/26
...
Trip site boistinker
  07/15/26
even in the face of senescence there are still those among u...
talented university mediation
  07/15/26
...
Orchid quadroon weed whacker
  07/16/26
thoughts & prayers, my brother. wishing for a positive ...
bright hyperactive parlor fanboi
  07/15/26
OP is currently sleeping on the couch
Underhanded dashing theater
  07/16/26
He’s lucky if it’s his own couch.
dun floppy school cafeteria
  07/16/26
I reposted this on Reddit and it has 8,000 upvotes already
racy step-uncle's house international law enforcement agency
  07/16/26
...
ebony state
  07/16/26
...
Passionate mentally impaired mexican
  07/16/26
...
Exciting mother fat ankles
  07/16/26
"Your bass looks amazing in those plants."
Passionate mentally impaired mexican
  07/16/26
He's leaving us hanging just about the right amount of time....
Garnet abode
  07/16/26
Wow lol
Nubile Point Police Squad
  07/16/26
Thanks to the poas above who said unlock under no circumstan...
Nubile Point Police Squad
  07/16/26
Fuck those motherfuckers. They deprived us of good content b...
Garnet abode
  07/16/26
what exactly are you involved in? my suggestion would be to...
ebony state
  07/16/26
You forgot to tell him to seek god
Garnet abode
  07/16/26
that's up to him, but he is playing a dangerous game. you ca...
ebony state
  07/16/26
You got pozzed by taking tranny hooker loads while injecting...
pale love of her life stage
  07/16/26
well when you put it that way
ebony state
  07/16/26
...
histrionic plaza ratface
  07/17/26
DESCRIBE her reaction and her mood from your explanation to ...
translucent background story sound barrier
  07/16/26
WHAT would she have found if given full access?
titillating cowardly school travel guidebook
  07/16/26
She just accepted that you didn’t have the code? No in...
charismatic glassy field electric furnace
  07/16/26
It was an android with the weird swipe pattern and I’v...
Nubile Point Police Squad
  07/16/26
Why leave us hanging on the details now after everyone leape...
Garnet abode
  07/16/26
...
titillating cowardly school travel guidebook
  07/16/26
...
bright hyperactive parlor fanboi
  07/16/26
...
Underhanded dashing theater
  07/16/26
...
Low-t dragon heaven
  07/17/26
It was his poasting phone
titillating cowardly school travel guidebook
  07/17/26
...
spectacular henna address
  07/17/26
because the whole thing is flame
sienna soul-stirring range
  07/17/26
Isn't proper protocol to keep it going with "updates&qu...
Garnet abode
  07/17/26
Pumos love to throw cold water on everything
histrionic plaza ratface
  07/17/26
(literal blackpilled drug addict)
sienna soul-stirring range
  07/17/26
it's true though. you faggots claim everything is flame beca...
ebony state
  07/17/26
Everything true I've poasted has a bunch of people crying fl...
histrionic plaza ratface
  07/17/26
and then there's consuela, a non-pumo, who does the same thi...
ebony state
  07/17/26
Consuela is always the first to believe anything (and then s...
histrionic plaza ratface
  07/17/26
we WANT to BELIEVE
Rose mind-boggling public bath jap
  07/17/26
i know gunner IRL and can confirm everything he's poasted is...
ebony state
  07/17/26
The recent pic of me with the topless stripper who jerked my...
histrionic plaza ratface
  07/17/26
Pretty much as described, I said I charged it up to get some...
Nubile Point Police Squad
  07/17/26
People want to know more specifics about what they helped yo...
Garnet abode
  07/17/26
Is she stupid? Serious question, like is she the type that w...
histrionic plaza ratface
  07/17/26
Hard-core black pill
Motley Scarlet Lay
  07/18/26
Guy who’s about to get pinned and then overrun by his ...
sadistic sex offender
  07/17/26
tell her its for your SWMFM side gig
Aggressive frisky stain
  07/17/26
This thread was the blackpill I needed to never help a mothe...
Garnet abode
  07/18/26
...
sadistic sex offender
  07/18/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:18 PM
Author: Nubile Point Police Squad

Pretty much using it for what you think. Stupid emergency alert went off. I was at work and she was at home and even though I silence it and keep it under a stack of papers in my drawer I guess the emergency alert overrode my settings and it kept going so she found it. Took a pic of the lock screen and sent a pic to me followed up with the 🤔 emoji. She can't get in but she'll probably have me unlock it when I get home. Hopefully no messages have popped up on the lock screen but I have no way of knowing. Best ways to cover this up?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002437)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:40 PM
Author: Flushed bat shit crazy indian lodge kitty

“using it for what you think”

Arranging hiking dates with AHGs?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002518)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:19 PM
Author: Multi-colored spot

say it wasn’t you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002440)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:39 PM
Author: alcoholic slimy whorehouse mood

The Shaggy Defense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002515)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM
Author: Underhanded dashing theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002927)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 1:12 PM
Author: Multi-colored spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50004128)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:20 PM
Author: Pontificating stead

you found the phone last night and didn't have time to turn it in to lost and found/police

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002441)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM
Author: Hairraiser faggot firefighter ape

no no no

no details

"idk what that phone is."

"idk how it got there"

"idk the password"

"idk what all these Grindr notifications even mean"

etc etc etc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002445)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM
Author: Pontificating stead

no I disagree. that would only work if there was a plausible explanation for how it could have gotten there without him knowing, which most likely there isn't. cleanest is to just say you found it and are turning it in tomorrow. worst that happens is that she goes with him to the police station to turn it in. then he can just go grab it later and say "whoops actually it was mine".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002471)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM
Author: Plum laughsome menage turdskin

found it and hid it under a stack of papers in a drawer?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002798)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: Orchid quadroon weed whacker

lol, fully charged, btw

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002809)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:53 PM
Author: umber sanctuary

idiotic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002824)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 11:33 AM
Author: Hairraiser faggot firefighter ape

explain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006238)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM
Author: Nubile Point Police Squad

Oh I guess I should've added it's my old phone so she recognizes it. I usually just stick them in a drawer somewhere to collect dust and never use them again, so it's suspicious that it's charged and in my home office.

I could say I was playing around with AI and coding an app or something? That's the best I've got

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002468)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:27 PM
Author: Pontificating stead

say you lost your current phone and was setting that up to replace it as a backup, then you found it again

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002479)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:28 PM
Author: Hairraiser faggot firefighter ape

"you know that dadaist message board where I pretend to have that wacky persona? yeah this is kind of like research for that guy."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002484)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:33 PM
Author: Garnet abode

You're retarded if you admit to the capability to open it. Say you realized that you have SOMETHING on there (vacation pictures? old work files? USE YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION) that you wanted (extra points if it's vacation photos and you wanted to use them to make a surprise photo reel for her). But you couldn't remember the password and weren't able to get in



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002496)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM
Author: Flushed bat shit crazy indian lodge kitty

This seems good. But don’t claim vacay pics or something dumb, bc those are all on cloud accounts. Say that you had my contact info on there bc you used to post with that phone, so charged it and turned it on to contact me because [insert a long explanation of a potential legal claim until she stops paying attention] but you couldn’t remember the pin.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002512)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:50 PM
Author: Garnet abode

I'm glad someone chimed in with understanding of whatever it is people do with modern media. I don't have any of that shit enabled, so it would work for me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002553)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:55 PM
Author: Pontificating stead

idk he could plausibly have old pics on there that aren't synced with anything

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002575)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:44 PM
Author: Pink location dog poop

Actually EPAH is highly suspect when it comes to expertise on modern technology

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003257)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:42 PM
Author: Nubile Point Police Squad

This seems like the best idea and way better than the dumbass shit I was gonna say in about 45 mins when I get home

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002525)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:53 PM
Author: Garnet abode

Hopefully you didn't use the same password on it as you do for your current phone. If you they're the same, change your normal phone's password before going home

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002566)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:56 PM
Author: Pontificating stead

could be fucked if it has face id and she already tried to get into it and noticed

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002576)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:04 PM
Author: Flushed bat shit crazy indian lodge kitty

This scenario would call for the immediate growth of a beard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002606)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:05 PM
Author: Pontificating stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002609)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:37 PM
Author: Garnet abode

Hmm. Better safe than sorry. Scribble a fake mustache and beard onto your face and an enormous black eye with a sharpie or a pen if you're in a pinch. Don't volunteer anything, but if she asks, just say you fell asleep at your work desk and one of your bros played a little practical joke. No big deal

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002786)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM
Author: ebony state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002828)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM
Author: Orchid quadroon weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002801)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:50 PM
Author: titillating cowardly school travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002815)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:58 PM
Author: umber sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002840)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:17 PM
Author: Awkward cracking theatre cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003202)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:54 PM
Author: charismatic glassy field electric furnace



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003281)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:21 PM
Author: bright hyperactive parlor fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003317)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:45 PM
Author: Pontificating stead

cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002535)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:07 PM
Author: tripping skinny woman kitchen

lol doy. Say yea I keep it charged and use it to read xo and watch porn while you take shits.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002618)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:32 PM
Author: titillating cowardly school travel guidebook

Trying to recover crypto

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002777)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:00 PM
Author: maize psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003147)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM
Author: Flatulent filthpig

you're chopped, unc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002444)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:24 PM
Author: galvanic gay wizard

does it make a wet plopping noise when the jew cum spurting from your fingers hits the keyboard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002458)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM
Author: wine stage stock car

Old work phone? "Try" to unlock it numerous times and just keep failing. If it's plugged into a charger or she's rlly dumb that can carry you. If it's not, you have to come up with a theory that explains recent use.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002465)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM
Author: Garnet abode

This is exactly why they've done away with removable batteries (if you were married to the government)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002470)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:11 PM
Author: Rose mind-boggling public bath jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50004585)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:34 PM
Author: Free-loading area new version

Just say it’s an old phone that you were seeing if worked to sell back to Verizon or whatever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002500)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: Infuriating elastic band volcanic crater

Can’t you wipe it remotely?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002505)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:16 PM
Author: tripping skinny woman kitchen

lol that would make it way worse. Just say you kept it around as a porn machine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002752)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:33 PM
Author: Exciting mother fat ankles

Good but not good enough if he has incriminating evidence all over it. Which if he's retarded enough to leave his cheatmo shit lying around,

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002778)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:15 AM
Author: Orchid quadroon weed whacker

THANK YOU!

Cuz why the fuck didn't he anticipate a nosey wife finding it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003845)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM
Author: talented university mediation

ctrl-f "grow a beard"

jfc this place is retarded nowadays. grow a beard and you're fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002514)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:58 AM
Author: splenetic emerald church gaming laptop

What if you have a beard already?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003688)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 1:26 PM
Author: jade yarmulke

marry a beard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006596)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:34 PM
Author: Insecure Piazza

Thank god i never have to deal with that nonsense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002779)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:46 PM
Author: titillating cowardly school travel guidebook

Your poasting has been pretty wild and erratic lately, maybe this is the wake up call you need.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002803)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:54 PM
Author: talented university mediation

he's doing great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002826)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:28 AM
Author: Rose mind-boggling public bath jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005728)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: Orchid quadroon weed whacker

Assuming it's an iphone, can you remote wipe it or some shit?

You're absolutely FUCKT if she makes you unlock it for her and there are messages on there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002806)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:56 PM
Author: umber sanctuary

under no circumstances can he unlock it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002833)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:57 PM
Author: ebony state

Yeah he’s better off remote wiping it. If she makes him open it in front of her, he may be done here, chopped and cooked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002834)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM
Author: Underhanded dashing theater

This works with Androids too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002926)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: Thirsty internal respiration lodge

Just say "Disah no wat you tink!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002808)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM
Author: umber sanctuary

OP i will flood it with messages from my irl # about crypto or something if you really want just bump this and ill post a throwaway

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002829)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:33 PM
Author: Underhanded dashing theater

Actually, just get a burner phone and start sending messages like "Bill, where are you? Why aren't you responding?"

Your wife will be confused. Explain that Bill is your friend at work who left his phone with you and you just need to return it. No, you don't have the pw, it isn't your phone. Take it to work tomorrow. Never bring it home again.

You're still fucked because she basically knows what you're up to but it gives you plausible deniability for the short term. I suggest you buy her a VERY big thing of flowers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002932)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:12 PM
Author: Rose mind-boggling public bath jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50004586)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:41 PM
Author: insanely creepy wonderful idiot national

If you have kids:

Wipe it remotely then say: “I’m trying to set this up as a dumb phone for the kids so they can play games/watch videos/take photos, so we don’t have to bring full iPads to restaurants. Can you help me set up the parental controls? It’s really complicated with trying to make sure it can run Prime video/netflix, but not allow them to download whatever they want, and to set screen time limits.” The mention of concern about screen time and content controls should put your wife into birdbrain instagram mom mode and allay any concern about your faithfulness. (I don’t cheat, but this is a common conversation in my house that devolves into a 45 minute discussion about how to lock down devices.)

If you don’t have kids:

Remote wipe and say: “I was trying to reset this to use as a camera for [hobby/recording 4th of July fireworks/etc.], but I couldn’t remember the password so I had to remote wipe it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002972)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:46 PM
Author: Underhanded dashing theater

This assumes you have a kid that doesn't have a phone and needs one. Mine already has a phone, for example.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50002987)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:55 PM
Author: topaz up-to-no-good windowlicker crackhouse

text her right now telling her to leave it alone because it's the phone you use to arrange trysts with your secret lovers

throw her off balance

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003009)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:18 AM
Author: Orchid quadroon weed whacker

Never let'em know your next move!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003853)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:57 PM
Author: disgusting nursing home nibblets

turn it back around on her and claim the phone is hers

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003017)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:23 PM
Author: ebony state

This could actually work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003062)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:50 PM
Author: Garnet abode

Fucking love this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003120)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:51 PM
Author: talented university mediation



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003126)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:05 PM
Author: hideous chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003173)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:26 PM
Author: High-end Excitant Hall

darvomaxxing tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003228)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:31 PM
Author: sadistic sex offender

Bird Brain Masterman

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003236)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:28 AM
Author: Rose mind-boggling public bath jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005727)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:26 AM
Author: Hairraiser faggot firefighter ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003752)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 1:04 PM
Author: bespoke electric meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50004116)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:52 AM
Author: histrionic plaza ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005744)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:59 PM
Author: Thirsty internal respiration lodge

*clears throat*

*raises hand*

haha u r fukt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003018)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:18 AM
Author: Orchid quadroon weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003856)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:56 PM
Author: galvanic gay wizard

Second phone is as fake as the "wife" conjured up by a black jewish mafia organization to defraud me btw. Good to know.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003138)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:19 PM
Author: crystalline nighttime newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003209)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:24 PM
Author: dun floppy school cafeteria

Dying for an update. Thinking positive thoughts.

It’s too late and there are better ideas above but OP could announce a drug or gambling habit. Cry. You’re sick and need help, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003224)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:27 PM
Author: titillating cowardly school travel guidebook

Need update OP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003229)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:46 PM
Author: fantasy-prone mewling resort mental disorder

Hide other phones randomly around the house and claim they're for emergencies

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003261)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:12 AM
Author: dun floppy school cafeteria

Lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003400)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:11 PM
Author: charismatic glassy field electric furnace

Great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003308)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:30 PM
Author: Trip site boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003328)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:34 PM
Author: talented university mediation

even in the face of senescence there are still those among us who operate at an extraordinarily high level

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003335)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:20 AM
Author: Orchid quadroon weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003864)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:24 PM
Author: bright hyperactive parlor fanboi

thoughts & prayers, my brother. wishing for a positive update

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003321)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:37 AM
Author: Underhanded dashing theater

OP is currently sleeping on the couch

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003418)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:48 AM
Author: dun floppy school cafeteria

He’s lucky if it’s his own couch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003420)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:59 AM
Author: racy step-uncle's house international law enforcement agency

I reposted this on Reddit and it has 8,000 upvotes already

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003431)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 8:58 AM
Author: ebony state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003599)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:08 AM
Author: Passionate mentally impaired mexican



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003615)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 7:52 AM
Author: Exciting mother fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003550)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:10 AM
Author: Passionate mentally impaired mexican

"Your bass looks amazing in those plants."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003618)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: Garnet abode

He's leaving us hanging just about the right amount of time. We should have an update by early afternoon if he wants to keep this on track

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003679)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: Nubile Point Police Squad

Wow lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003684)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: Nubile Point Police Squad

Thanks to the poas above who said unlock under no circumstances. I don’t use cloud backup so I did say I was trying to find some old info off that phone and charged it up but couldn’t remember the PIN. Luckily there were no messages that popped up on the lock screen. I guess I need to start shutting this thing off or take it with me all the time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003681)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:00 AM
Author: Garnet abode

Fuck those motherfuckers. They deprived us of good content by aiding and abetting this moral crime. They should be ashamed as officers of the court

That said, turn it off, but don't take it away immediately. That would be very suspicious now that her "female intuition" is engaged

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003692)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:22 AM
Author: ebony state

what exactly are you involved in? my suggestion would be to stop whatever it is that you're doing. this close call should serve as an eye opener.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003746)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:25 AM
Author: Garnet abode

You forgot to tell him to seek god

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003749)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:27 AM
Author: ebony state

that's up to him, but he is playing a dangerous game. you can just look at all the horseshit that i got into back in 2019/2020 if you want to see how not to live.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003753)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:43 AM
Author: pale love of her life stage

You got pozzed by taking tranny hooker loads while injecting heroin into ur cock and it all worked out for you. NPB can cop a lil strange no problem

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003768)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:50 AM
Author: ebony state

well when you put it that way

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003780)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:42 AM
Author: histrionic plaza ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005896)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:56 AM
Author: translucent background story sound barrier

DESCRIBE her reaction and her mood from your explanation to present.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50003793)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 3:43 PM
Author: titillating cowardly school travel guidebook

WHAT would she have found if given full access?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50004413)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:17 PM
Author: charismatic glassy field electric furnace

She just accepted that you didn’t have the code? No interrogation?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50004604)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:17 PM
Author: Nubile Point Police Squad

It was an android with the weird swipe pattern and I’ve been an iPhonemo for a while now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50004605)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:23 PM
Author: Garnet abode

Why leave us hanging on the details now after everyone leaped into action to help you? You owe us content

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50004621)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 8:36 PM
Author: titillating cowardly school travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005117)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:58 PM
Author: bright hyperactive parlor fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005550)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:58 PM
Author: Underhanded dashing theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005552)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:44 AM
Author: Low-t dragon heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005738)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 7:07 AM
Author: titillating cowardly school travel guidebook

It was his poasting phone

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005748)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 7:53 AM
Author: spectacular henna address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005817)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:06 AM
Author: sienna soul-stirring range

because the whole thing is flame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005849)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:20 AM
Author: Garnet abode

Isn't proper protocol to keep it going with "updates"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005863)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:41 AM
Author: histrionic plaza ratface

Pumos love to throw cold water on everything

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005895)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:28 AM
Author: sienna soul-stirring range

(literal blackpilled drug addict)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005960)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:54 AM
Author: ebony state

it's true though. you faggots claim everything is flame because you can't fathom people doing irl shit irl. you're probably the guy who called my midlife crisis/spiral flame and made up that my wife is "good at computer."

and that's another thing, you'd think you shut-in basement-dwelling nerds would be tech savvy, but you don't realize that you can use the wayback machine to find old poasts here, which is exactly what she did. so you call me out as flame for talking about that when it happened.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006008)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:58 AM
Author: histrionic plaza ratface

Everything true I've poasted has a bunch of people crying flame, and every flame I've poasted has a bunch of poasters credulously believing it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006014)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:59 AM
Author: ebony state

and then there's consuela, a non-pumo, who does the same thing. apparently, according to him, if you have a drug addiction and fuck strange women and blow your life up, you're trying to be zany by making up stories on the web.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006017)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:21 AM
Author: histrionic plaza ratface

Consuela is always the first to believe anything (and then spam it forever), which is hilarious considering he believes himself to be a genius who has figured out the secret inner workings of the world.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006076)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:10 AM
Author: Rose mind-boggling public bath jap

we WANT to BELIEVE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006032)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:12 AM
Author: ebony state

i know gunner IRL and can confirm everything he's poasted is factual. he can confirm the same about me (minus the homo encounters, i made all those up haha)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006040)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:19 AM
Author: histrionic plaza ratface

The recent pic of me with the topless stripper who jerked my limp pizzwyrn would have been good content

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006069)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:26 AM
Author: Nubile Point Police Squad

Pretty much as described, I said I charged it up to get some stuff off it but couldn’t remember whatever pattern I had. She bought it and didn’t question that it was connected to wifi and her mood doesn’t seem to be any different. Kind of an anticlimactic ending but crisis averted for now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005956)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:45 AM
Author: Garnet abode

People want to know more specifics about what they helped you protect, if this close call is going to make you shy away from further depravity, if you're actually emboldened instead, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50005992)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:53 AM
Author: histrionic plaza ratface

Is she stupid? Serious question, like is she the type that would believe this and forget about it? Because if not she just doesn't want to overreact and make accusations, and is currently polling every woman she knows, maybe even Reddit, who will all tell her what's really going on, and in a few weeks you're going to be ambushed about it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006006)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2026 10:07 AM
Author: Motley Scarlet Lay

Hard-core black pill

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50008059)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:19 AM
Author: sadistic sex offender

Guy who’s about to get pinned and then overrun by his wife’s flanking maneuver. She’s going to attack your life and digital footprint from every conceivable direction. There’s no way your opsec is up to snuff

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006070)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:59 AM
Author: Aggressive frisky stain

tell her its for your SWMFM side gig

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50006018)



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Date: July 18th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: Garnet abode

This thread was the blackpill I needed to never help a motherfucker on here again without an express promise to provide more information as thanks to his bros

We're starving for content, and it's unseemly to withhold

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50008051)



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Date: July 18th, 2026 10:35 AM
Author: sadistic sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2�id.#50008094)