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I tried a slick new pickup tactic and it didn’t work
Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 19th, 2026 5:33 AM Author: talented crimson juggernaut crotch I’m at a mutual fund; not going to say which but you’ve seen commercials lol.
There’s this girl in another department on my floor who is gorgeous; she looks like Daphne from Scooby-Doo if you did a porn parody. Incredible stuff.
She and another guy (normal white; not great looking and he’s married already) are talking about dreams in the break room. He said he dreamt that he was helping his mom become a baseball player. I didn’t hear all of her dream but I heard the word “sauna” which is what got me to walk in there. I said “hey, talking about dreams?”
I know what you’re thinking which is that I said she was the girl of my dreams etc but I’m not stupid. I said “I had a dream the three of us were trying cocktails at [name of new bar that opened down the street]. Maybe we need to make that a thing!”
I figured the guy might not be able to come and if he does I’ll tell him what I’m doing and maybe he can wing. Instead they both looked at me and he said “interesting” and she didn’t say anything at all. After a moment he started showing pictures of his kid to her and then I left.
Where did I screw up, bros? |
Date: May 19th, 2026 5:39 AM Author: citrine lettuce How well do you know these people? Have you hung out or had lunch or something before? If not, seems kinda weird. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889517) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:45 AM Author: talented crimson juggernaut crotch Shit I guess you’re right.
How do I salvage things with her? |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 8:25 AM Author: citrine lettuce https://despair.com/products/persistence (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889710) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:46 AM Author: histrionic bronze senate potus Should have gone in there and just started honking her buttons (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889519) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:52 AM Author: talented crimson juggernaut crotch maybe but the guy was there
he looked kinda like peter straub so wasn't gonna do anything to stop me but idk |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:34 AM Author: histrionic bronze senate potus homeo would have locked the door and sat down in the corner to watch you all hook up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889557) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:36 AM Author: talented crimson juggernaut crotch shit that would have made it happen
i'm kicking myself now
next time both of them are in the room together I'm going to go in and say, "Hey, I'm sorry about last time. I'm new to this kind of thing and I was trying to make it cool but I should just be honest" and then go and start honking her. Right when I do the first honk I'll turn to the guy and wink and then he'll go close the door. |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:44 AM Author: histrionic bronze senate potus nah moment's passed
try it at your next employer where word hasn't got around you're a turbo Melvin |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 7:57 AM Author: Smoky Concupiscible Forum I don't see any issues with this plan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889649) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 8:10 AM Author: jet-lagged school cafeteria puppy "now youse can't leave" *sits down* *unzips* *places a lone sour cream and onion pringle in mouth, chews while maintaining constant gaze* |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 9:08 AM Author: talented crimson juggernaut crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889833) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:51 AM Author: Judgmental cerebral garrison You did great (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889520) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:52 AM Author: talented crimson juggernaut crotch Thanks man that's great to hear
what should my next move be |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 7:50 AM Author: thriller azure water buffalo Spend the next three months jerking off and pining for her (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889642) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 8:30 AM Author: pink house-broken stock car dingle berry *years (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889724) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:25 AM Author: Excitant native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889552) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:46 AM Author: alcoholic razzmatazz station Is this entire thread AI? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889564) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:47 AM Author: talented crimson juggernaut crotch ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889566) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 10:54 PM Author: Excitant native tcq (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49891079) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 9:13 AM Author: Insanely creepy patrolman karate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49889844) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:19 PM Author: Crystalline Property Coffee Pot Here’s the best move. It helps if you have anger issues, so if you don’t chug a few energy drinks beforehand. First. Make her your subordinate. Grind at work and get a promotion if necessary. She said she has kids, find out what’s up with her marriage and see if she’s unhappy. If not then start flexing your net worth, height, whatever her husband doesn’t have. Simultaneously, if you have a wife, knock her up and be a total asshole to her. I’m talking emotional abuse, both insulting her and controlling her finances. Now that you’ve laid the groundwork, you start working on some projects together. Text her about them. Discuss them over drinks. Then find out you two click, you both get divorce and voila, you’re laying the pipe with a coworker. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49891097) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:32 PM Author: lavender gas station does it matter if the first woman or your wife is asian? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49891104) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:20 PM Author: Soggy balding pit Link to Reddit post? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49891098) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:33 PM Author: thriller azure water buffalo Send me her LinkedIn. I'll fuck her and you'll get disgusted by her lack of standards, getting over her and moving on with your life
Win/win |
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Date: May 20th, 2026 5:57 AM Author: talented crimson juggernaut crotch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2�id.#49891239) |
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Date: May 20th, 2026 8:15 AM Author: thriller azure water buffalo Found her. She's kind of slutty...not sure how you struck out so badly: https://ibb.co/xKQNPYKV
Remember, I'm doing this for you |