\
  The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world.
BackRefresh Options Favorite

Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Flatulent Striped Hyena
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
Unhinged Domesticated House
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
Judgmental avocado resort faggot firefighter
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
up-to-no-good electric rehab degenerate
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
ungodly trump supporter
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
twinkling jew
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
red trip dog poop
  04/30/21
...
aromatic space
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
Flatulent Striped Hyena
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
red trip dog poop
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
Flatulent Striped Hyena
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
Unhinged Domesticated House
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
Judgmental avocado resort faggot firefighter
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
red trip dog poop
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
Judgmental avocado resort faggot firefighter
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
metal appetizing persian kitty
  04/30/21
...
Slippery Church
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
comical cruel-hearted area
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
cobalt gas station private investor
  04/30/21
...
Flatulent Striped Hyena
  04/30/21
...
Laughsome frozen queen of the night university
  04/30/21
...
Onyx sound barrier center
  04/30/21
...
snowy international law enforcement agency abode
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
Razzle-dazzle outnumbered pit
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
Godawful Dun Temple
  04/30/21
...
Vigorous Pink Generalized Bond Market
  04/30/21
...
poppy school fanboi
  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
orchid toaster base
  04/30/21
...
Confused Kitty Cat
  04/30/21
...
cobalt gas station private investor
  04/30/21
...
orange double fault mad cow disease
  04/30/21
...
Sadistic glittery state
  04/30/21
...
doobsian razzmatazz principal's office nowag
  04/30/21
...
Laughsome frozen queen of the night university
  04/30/21
...
ruddy location indirect expression
  04/30/21
...
Confused Kitty Cat
  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
Confused Kitty Cat
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
aromatic space
  04/30/21
...
Talented Stag Film Lettuce
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
aromatic space
  04/30/21
...
misunderstood voyeur skinny woman
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
chest-beating marketing idea national
  04/30/21
...
house-broken aphrodisiac trailer park doctorate
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
Unhinged Domesticated House
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
Insane Gay Wizard Patrolman
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
Flatulent Striped Hyena
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
Insane Gay Wizard Patrolman
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
Flatulent Striped Hyena
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
Insane Gay Wizard Patrolman
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
Judgmental avocado resort faggot firefighter
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
Concupiscible Pervert
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
Cerebral abnormal dysfunction
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
aromatic space
  04/30/21
...
house-broken aphrodisiac trailer park doctorate
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
orange double fault mad cow disease
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
Histrionic Impressive Digit Ratio Theatre
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
chest-beating marketing idea national
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
Histrionic Impressive Digit Ratio Theatre
  04/30/21
...
red trip dog poop
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
poppy school fanboi
  04/30/21
...
Vigorous Pink Generalized Bond Market
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
Peach offensive internal respiration parlor
  04/30/21
...
Big-titted Liquid Oxygen
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
passionate shitlib
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
ivory indian lodge new version
  04/30/21
Wow
passionate shitlib
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
ivory indian lodge new version
  04/30/21
...
Sadistic glittery state
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
Judgmental avocado resort faggot firefighter
  04/30/21
...
purple nudist address
  04/30/21
...
Diverse Underhanded Idiot
  02/22/22
...
Cyan Public Bath Dragon
  06/22/22
...
Slippery Church
  04/30/21
titcr.
house-broken aphrodisiac trailer park doctorate
  04/30/21
180
purple nudist address
  04/30/21
...
Laughsome frozen queen of the night university
  04/30/21
...
Talented Stag Film Lettuce
  04/30/21
holy shit
Diverse Underhanded Idiot
  04/30/21
attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
Laughsome frozen queen of the night university
  04/30/21
how
chest-beating marketing idea national
  04/30/21
...
ruddy location indirect expression
  06/22/22
...
cobalt gas station private investor
  04/30/21
...
provocative genital piercing
  04/30/21
...
Cream crawly reading party main people
  04/30/21
...
Talented Stag Film Lettuce
  04/30/21
...
provocative genital piercing
  06/01/21
...
Diverse Underhanded Idiot
  02/22/22
this is incredible
provocative genital piercing
  02/22/22
...
Diverse Underhanded Idiot
  02/25/22
...
lime corn cake den
  05/04/22
wow
Cyan Public Bath Dragon
  06/22/22
...
purple nudist address
  06/22/22
...
bateful tripping business firm
  06/22/22
High | level | legal work
Stirring idiotic bawdyhouse gunner
  04/30/21
...
misunderstood voyeur skinny woman
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
Slate contagious chad personal credit line
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
supple pearl love of her life
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
Rough-skinned school cafeteria
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
violent idea he suggested
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Splenetic chestnut stage coldplay fan
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
spectacular out-of-control theater
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
Talented Stag Film Lettuce
  04/30/21
...
Diverse Underhanded Idiot
  04/30/21
...
cobalt gas station private investor
  04/30/21
...
ivory indian lodge new version
  04/30/21
...
Diverse Underhanded Idiot
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
titillating ruby box office mood
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
cobalt gas station private investor
  04/30/21
What’s that
fantasy-prone messiness stage
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
cobalt gas station private investor
  04/30/21
...
Laughsome frozen queen of the night university
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
Canary sick mother site
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
Canary sick mother site
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
Motley Smoky Stead
  04/30/21
I am gay
Boyish Clown
  04/30/21
great thread
Talented Stag Film Lettuce
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
Razzle irate casino
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
Concupiscible Pervert
  04/30/21
...
Concupiscible Pervert
  05/02/21
...
Concupiscible Pervert
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
cobalt gas station private investor
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Big-titted Liquid Oxygen
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
Unhinged Domesticated House
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
French nibblets
  06/22/22
...
Slippery Church
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
Big-titted Liquid Oxygen
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
house-broken aphrodisiac trailer park doctorate
  04/19/26
...
Slippery Church
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: Flatulent Striped Hyena

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: Unhinged Domesticated House

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Judgmental avocado resort faggot firefighter

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: up-to-no-good electric rehab degenerate

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: ungodly trump supporter

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: twinkling jew
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: red trip dog poop

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: aromatic space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Flatulent Striped Hyena

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: red trip dog poop

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Flatulent Striped Hyena

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: Unhinged Domesticated House

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: Judgmental avocado resort faggot firefighter

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: red trip dog poop

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: Judgmental avocado resort faggot firefighter

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: metal appetizing persian kitty

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: Slippery Church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: comical cruel-hearted area

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: cobalt gas station private investor

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Flatulent Striped Hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Laughsome frozen queen of the night university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: Onyx sound barrier center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: snowy international law enforcement agency abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle outnumbered pit

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Godawful Dun Temple

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: Vigorous Pink Generalized Bond Market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: poppy school fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: orchid toaster base

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Confused Kitty Cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: cobalt gas station private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: orange double fault mad cow disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Sadistic glittery state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: doobsian razzmatazz principal's office nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: Laughsome frozen queen of the night university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: ruddy location indirect expression



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: Confused Kitty Cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Confused Kitty Cat

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: aromatic space

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Talented Stag Film Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: aromatic space

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: misunderstood voyeur skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: chest-beating marketing idea national

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: house-broken aphrodisiac trailer park doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: Unhinged Domesticated House

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Insane Gay Wizard Patrolman

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Flatulent Striped Hyena

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Insane Gay Wizard Patrolman

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: Flatulent Striped Hyena

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: Insane Gay Wizard Patrolman

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Judgmental avocado resort faggot firefighter

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Concupiscible Pervert

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: Cerebral abnormal dysfunction

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376217)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: aromatic space

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: house-broken aphrodisiac trailer park doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376607)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: orange double fault mad cow disease

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: Histrionic Impressive Digit Ratio Theatre

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376290)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: chest-beating marketing idea national

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: Histrionic Impressive Digit Ratio Theatre

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376317)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: red trip dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376330)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: poppy school fanboi

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376331)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Vigorous Pink Generalized Bond Market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376336)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: Peach offensive internal respiration parlor

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376358)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: Big-titted Liquid Oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008930)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: passionate shitlib

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: ivory indian lodge new version

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: passionate shitlib

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: ivory indian lodge new version

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: Sadistic glittery state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376574)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: Judgmental avocado resort faggot firefighter

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: purple nudist address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377415)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Diverse Underhanded Idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Cyan Public Bath Dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: Slippery Church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376432)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: house-broken aphrodisiac trailer park doctorate

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: purple nudist address

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: Laughsome frozen queen of the night university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: Talented Stag Film Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376641)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Diverse Underhanded Idiot

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376648)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Laughsome frozen queen of the night university

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376708)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: chest-beating marketing idea national

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: ruddy location indirect expression



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: cobalt gas station private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376711)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: provocative genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376866)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Cream crawly reading party main people



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: Talented Stag Film Lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: provocative genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Diverse Underhanded Idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: provocative genital piercing

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: Diverse Underhanded Idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: lime corn cake den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: Cyan Public Bath Dragon

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: purple nudist address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: bateful tripping business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Stirring idiotic bawdyhouse gunner

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376422)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: misunderstood voyeur skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Slate contagious chad personal credit line

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376456)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: supple pearl love of her life

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376505)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: Rough-skinned school cafeteria

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376517)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: violent idea he suggested

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376555)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: Splenetic chestnut stage coldplay fan

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376600)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: spectacular out-of-control theater

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376651)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: Talented Stag Film Lettuce

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Diverse Underhanded Idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: cobalt gas station private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: ivory indian lodge new version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: Diverse Underhanded Idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: titillating ruby box office mood

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376695)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: cobalt gas station private investor

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376699)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: fantasy-prone messiness stage

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: cobalt gas station private investor

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: Laughsome frozen queen of the night university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: Canary sick mother site

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: Canary sick mother site

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377381)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: Motley Smoky Stead

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: Boyish Clown

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Talented Stag Film Lettuce

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: Razzle irate casino

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42378186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: Concupiscible Pervert

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: Concupiscible Pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: Concupiscible Pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: cobalt gas station private investor

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: Big-titted Liquid Oxygen

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: Unhinged Domesticated House

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44032743)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: French nibblets

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Slippery Church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: Big-titted Liquid Oxygen

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: house-broken aphrodisiac trailer park doctorate

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Slippery Church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2#49827363)