He was 43.

We were about to move in together.

He was just 43.

i'm numb.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196382)

"My boyfriend"

"We were about to move in together and take it to the next level of being people without kids dating each other who shared the same apartment and split rent"

"He was just 43"

L

M

A

O

F

T

G

E

G

T

G

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44198596)

You aren't as mean to horrible posters as you are to me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44198614)

Truly horrible poasters (i.e., literal retards and pumos) don't deserve my scorn and the effort it takes for me to type out words on a keyboard. Sometimes I give it to them anyway because I am bored or gay, but often I don't because who gives a shit and it's not even remotely worth the time.

You do deserve it, because you are a much greater disappointment and a much more profound failure as a human being -- you grew up in a decent middle class two-parent black family and you are objectively one of the smartest black women in America according to the best metrics we have to define intellectual acuity, and yet time and time again you have thoroughly blown every chance in life that has been thrown your way (including many incredible opportunities that others could only dream of being afforded) because you're a lazy, drug-addled, frivolous, immature, shitlibbed-out whorish mentally-ill cunt. You probably won't even succeed in passing on your relatively "good" genetics, which is something that the vast majority of literally retarded black woman out there still manage to do, often repeatedly. Let me state that again more slowly: You're objectively doing worse in life than *they are* on the most fundamental metric of them all, and, again, many of them are *literally* retarded. Literally. Like, can't-read-and-probably-couldn't-even-learn-to-read-if-they-tried level fucking mentally impaired.

If that sounds harsh, it should. Take a good fucking look in the mirror -- you're not even a has-been, you're just a never-was and a genetic dead-end. And that's a very sad and incredibly pathetic outcome in your case. You were given a lot to work with through no inherent merit of your own, and you chose to squander it all because of your many glaring personality flaws. You were born a unicorn in a land that worships unicorns, and you'll die a lame and crippled blown-out old faggot mare in some shitty old dilapidated barn right next to the glue factory.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44198653)

Sorry, the truth is harsh.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44198658)

Yes I am not a managing director or a neurosurgeon but I pay my bills and my taxes and I am gainfully employed. What more can society ask from any adult?

Most Stuy/Ivy-educated people go on to have quotidian careers as social workers, teachers, middle managers, non-profit employees etc. The biglaw partners, MDs, surgeons and college professors draw attention because they are the exception to the rule.

I like my job, I don't want a career that overtakes my life because I value spending time with friends and family and I am content with where I am in life. This should be enough for xo as it is enough for me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44198673)

I had gotten on facebook messenger to bitch that he wasnt answering my calls. And then he told me.

God I'm such an asshole.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196404)

Oh god I think I'm going to kill myself.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196426)

He told me he was having bad migraines all weekend... but he always had migraines@

They said he had a heart attack. Who has a heart attack at 43?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196442)

I was apologizing for bitching about him not calling me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196456)

Practically, maybe. But I'm not a practical man.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196480)

False. Absolute statements are easy to disprove.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44197960)

The only meds he took were for his migraines.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196461)

I have met his mom a few times but we are not close... do I call her?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196485)

He had a job working as a consultant and he left the corporate world to work for a charter school because he wanted to help black boys.

:(

OMG

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196500)

jfc you're a moron

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196534)

With that said, why are you posting about this on XO? What's wrong with you? Stop being pathetic, have some decency.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196538)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44196544)

What was his RACE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44197410)

my thoughts are with you :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44198362)

Wow I'm so sorry that you're going through this, this is such a terrible thing that is happening to you and that you are suffering from, OMG is there any way that we can help you with this problem that is all about you, Smoke? Why do such bad things happen to such good people, my god haven't you been through enough without suffering through something like this that is being inflicted upon you, the victim?!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44198577)

I am this close to buying a revolver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44198586)

I say this will full sincerity:

Do it. Life only gets worse from here -- ahead lies social collapse, growing personal misery, failing health, and probably a very sad end for you (and probably for all of us in varying degrees). Ending it now is a perfectly fine and reasonable way to sidestep that path of misery, and it makes perfect sense if you truly don't think the good will outweigh the growing bad in your own future -- which may very well be true.

Having said that, shut the fuck up because we all know you're just birdbrain attention whoring ITT and no one on XO actually believes you truly have the guts to get a gun and blow your own brains out (which is a very difficult thing to do in reality when your finger is on the trigger). Don't worry... soon enough you'll find a new meaningless relationship with another middle-aged broken man which will last anywhere from a few months to a few years before it, too, fails. Congrats in advance!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44198617)

Because I personally still think I have things to live for in the near and medium term future? Hence why I also don't go around talking about how I might commit suicide?

People who go around saying things like "I'm just about to end it all, thinking of buying a gun" and gay shit like that either 1. desperately want attention and will use literally any emotionally manipulative hook to try and get it (which makes them pathetic and shitty people so fuck them and call them out for doing that), or 2. truly think they don't have anything left to live for (in which case yes they should probably go ahead and do it then).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44199774)

Fuck off, JEW EGG

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44199779)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44199248)

I don't care if people die. If anything it's always a relief. Less lies to keep track of.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44200005)

https://ibb.co/t2jy7sN

FTGE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5065079&forum_id=2#44202363)