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THE BETAMORPHOSIS.

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&foru...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  01/30/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  02/11/12
...
bright razzle church building
  02/11/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  02/14/12
dude, give TBF credit when it's due and link to the original...
Citrine old irish cottage nursing home
  02/14/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  03/02/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  03/08/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  07/18/12
A Chung Tale
supple corner
  07/18/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  07/19/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  07/28/12
you love dem tbf posts huh
rusted concupiscible theater stage
  07/28/12
lol, just lol.
ruby sandwich
  07/28/12
WE NEEDC TO KILL ALL NIGGERS
Excitant incel national
  07/28/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  08/09/12
...
vivacious ungodly roommate
  08/09/12
credited
Citrine old irish cottage nursing home
  08/09/12
...
histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency
  12/03/14
...
Mauve vibrant indian lodge
  12/30/15
Legendary
histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency
  08/09/12
At least provide the link to the original
Citrine old irish cottage nursing home
  08/09/12
done
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  08/17/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  08/23/12
I was actually thinking about this yesterday
know-it-all splenetic heaven feces
  08/23/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  09/13/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  10/30/12
...
Citrine old irish cottage nursing home
  10/30/12
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  12/15/12
2013 bump
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  01/07/13
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  01/22/13
...
vermilion stead
  06/13/13
...
ruby sandwich
  06/13/13
TBF's glory
histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency
  10/11/13
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  12/18/14
...
lime den turdskin
  07/28/16
...
Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker
  07/27/17
...
henna ape sanctuary
  08/13/17
...
fluffy chocolate double fault mood
  08/13/17
...
Mauve vibrant indian lodge
  08/13/17
...
Mauve vibrant indian lodge
  10/25/17
now i remember. yeah, it used to be that good here.
Cracking Poppy Theatre Laser Beams
  10/25/17
turns out calling asians bugs was a proud, long, rich tradit...
Cracking Poppy Theatre Laser Beams
  10/25/17
...
Mauve vibrant indian lodge
  10/27/17
...
Mauve vibrant indian lodge
  11/26/17
Claire was a scholar
hairraiser giraffe
  11/26/17
...
Sticky Cobalt Toaster Hospital
  01/23/18
...
histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency
  09/11/19
...
histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency
  01/28/25
...
hairraiser giraffe
  05/20/25
...
Mauve vibrant indian lodge
  01/23/18
...
Jade Scourge Upon The Earth Meetinghouse
  01/23/18
...
Mauve vibrant indian lodge
  06/16/18
...
histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency
  10/07/18
...
Mauve vibrant indian lodge
  10/19/18
...
Marvelous fanboi
  10/21/18
...
dark vigorous milk
  11/24/18
...
Mauve vibrant indian lodge
  04/28/19
...
Floppy hall hissy fit
  09/13/20
...
Cyan mewling garrison
  11/06/20
...
Floppy hall hissy fit
  11/06/20
...
Floppy hall hissy fit
  11/29/20
...
Floppy hall hissy fit
  12/16/20
...
Mauve vibrant indian lodge
  03/02/21
...
Floppy hall hissy fit
  10/14/21
...
Sick gaming laptop sweet tailpipe
  07/13/23
...
Marvelous fanboi
  07/13/23
more proof that tbf is an asian male
Chrome Tank
  07/13/23
...
histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency
  07/13/23
...
Sick gaming laptop sweet tailpipe
  10/05/24
...
Awkward Geriatric Whorehouse Codepig
  10/05/24
...
Sick gaming laptop sweet tailpipe
  01/28/25
...
canary brunch
  05/05/25
...
canary brunch
  05/20/25
...
Sick gaming laptop sweet tailpipe
  11/03/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: January 30th, 2012 4:50 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:43 PM

Author: To be fair (Semi-Retired)

To be fair,

PART I:

One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been transformed into an Asian man. He lay on his dingy unwashed Hello Kitty sheets and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his tiny, emaciated yellow figure stretched out before him. His frail hairless legs, pitifully thin even compared to the rest of his boyish body, splayed out comically before his tiny nearsighted sliteyes like a splintered bamboo chopstick.

"What's happened to me," he thought. It was no dream. His room lay quietly between the four well-known walls. And above the table, on which a wide assortment of empty Smirnoff bottles had stood just the night before - when Samsa was still a successful ibanker - hung the picture of a familiar woman. It was a gorgeous Russian girl with a fur hat and a fur boa. She sat erect there, lifting up in the direction of the viewer a solid fur muff into which her entire forearm had disappeared, just as he had often disappeared into her muff after a night of heavy boozing. Yet this picture of Svetlana was not his; for this had been poorly cut out of an old Sports Illustrated issue, and was perilously attached to the greasy wall with a potent mix of dried semen, duct tape and profound desperation. And in the place of his hard earned bottle battalion there now stood an curious assortment of thick, strange tomes bearing odd titles - "Criminal Procedure", "Administrative Law", "Secured Transactions" and "TROL Spring 2009" - alongside three gently humming computers, all myseriously logged on to the same website. He immediately knew that he would never have the beautiful woman in the picture again.

"Oh God," he thought. At that moment he felt a slight itching beneath the shaggy black carpet that coated his oily scalp. He slowly pushed himself on his back closer to the bed post so that he could lift his unsightly bulbous head up on his narrow pencil neck more easily, and found the itchy part, which rained down small white flakes as he scratched it; he did not know what to make of them.

He looked over at the alarm clock ticking away by the chest of drawers. "Good God!" he thought. It was half past six, and the hands were going quietly on. It was even past the half hour, already nearly quarter to. What should he do? Did he dare to face the world like this?

As he was thinking all this over in the greatest haste, without being able to make the decision to get out of bed, there was a cautious knock on the basement door by the head of the bed. "Teddy Chu-yu Huang," a sing-song voice called out, "Zao on, lice and shine now boy! You lazy boy!" Was it his mother...was he living at home again with his parents? Gregor was startled when he heard his voice answering. It was clearly and unmistakably his voice, but it was now markedly higher in pitch, marred by a grating Chinese accent which left the words grotesquely distorted so that one did not know if one had heard correctly. Gregor wanted to answer in detail and explain everything, but in these circumstances he confined himself to saying, "Xiexie mama. I get up, woi ai ni." Apparently satisfied, his mother shuffled off slowly on her tiny, exquisitely bound feet.

As a result of that short conversation, however, his father also became aware that his son was still at home, and already he was knocking on one side door, weakly but with his fist. "Te-ddy...Te-ddy!," he called out, "Ni shenti hao ma?" And, after a short while, he called out again in a whinier voice - "CHU-YU!" Gregor directed an answer as best he could: "I go baba, xiexie." He made an effort with the most careful articulation and inserted long pauses between the individual words. His father turned back to his breakfast. Gregor had no intention of opening the door, but rather congratulated himself on his precaution, acquired from years of sleeping around in his former life, of locking all doors during the night.

***

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#19865895)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2012 1:08 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#19942908)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2012 1:33 PM
Author: bright razzle church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#19942985)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 14th, 2012 4:19 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#19963598)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 14th, 2012 4:20 PM
Author: Citrine old irish cottage nursing home

dude, give TBF credit when it's due and link to the original

but a top 5 post of all time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#19963602)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2012 5:01 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#20107232)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 8th, 2012 1:03 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#20156701)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2012 3:18 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21116212)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2012 3:22 PM
Author: supple corner

A Chung Tale

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21116242)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2012 2:27 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21121465)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 9:58 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21201599)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 9:58 PM
Author: rusted concupiscible theater stage

you love dem tbf posts huh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21201601)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 9:59 PM
Author: ruby sandwich

lol, just lol.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21201608)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 10:00 PM
Author: Excitant incel national

WE NEEDC TO KILL ALL NIGGERS

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21201612)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:23 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21296217)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:24 PM
Author: vivacious ungodly roommate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21296225)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:25 PM
Author: Citrine old irish cottage nursing home

credited

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21296229)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2014 8:06 PM
Author: histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#26851409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:26 AM
Author: Mauve vibrant indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#29481999)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:26 PM
Author: histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency

Legendary

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21296241)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:26 PM
Author: Citrine old irish cottage nursing home

At least provide the link to the original

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21296249)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 17th, 2012 2:30 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker

done

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21360821)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 23rd, 2012 1:50 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21403977)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 23rd, 2012 2:01 PM
Author: know-it-all splenetic heaven feces

I was actually thinking about this yesterday

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21404036)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2012 5:12 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21571558)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 30th, 2012 3:21 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21924655)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 30th, 2012 4:02 PM
Author: Citrine old irish cottage nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#21925080)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2012 4:03 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#22256092)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 7th, 2013 2:31 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker

2013 bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#22385066)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2013 5:27 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#22483481)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2013 2:43 PM
Author: vermilion stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#23388085)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2013 3:23 PM
Author: ruby sandwich



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#23388309)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 11th, 2013 8:14 PM
Author: histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency

TBF's glory

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#24215654)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 18th, 2014 4:27 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#26957385)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2016 6:11 PM
Author: lime den turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#31053610)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 27th, 2017 2:19 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac shaky boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#33867558)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2017 3:28 AM
Author: henna ape sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#33976384)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2017 3:33 AM
Author: fluffy chocolate double fault mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#33976395)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2017 4:13 AM
Author: Mauve vibrant indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#33976464)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2017 2:59 AM
Author: Mauve vibrant indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34523544)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2017 3:10 AM
Author: Cracking Poppy Theatre Laser Beams

now i remember. yeah, it used to be that good here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34523558)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2017 3:11 AM
Author: Cracking Poppy Theatre Laser Beams

turns out calling asians bugs was a proud, long, rich tradition on xo going back a long ways. that gives me tickles.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34523559)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2017 1:39 PM
Author: Mauve vibrant indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34542580)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 26th, 2017 12:14 AM
Author: Mauve vibrant indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34772753)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 26th, 2017 1:00 AM
Author: hairraiser giraffe

Claire was a scholar

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#34772952)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2018 10:06 AM
Author: Sticky Cobalt Toaster Hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#35216572)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2019 10:26 AM
Author: histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#38817589)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2025 6:09 AM
Author: histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48597167)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2025 9:37 AM
Author: hairraiser giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48946725)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2018 10:05 AM
Author: Mauve vibrant indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#35216559)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2018 10:11 AM
Author: Jade Scourge Upon The Earth Meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#35216597)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 16th, 2018 9:42 AM
Author: Mauve vibrant indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#36255593)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 7th, 2018 1:23 PM
Author: histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#36979191)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 8:39 AM
Author: Mauve vibrant indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#37055152)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 21st, 2018 6:31 PM
Author: Marvelous fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#37068231)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 24th, 2018 5:53 AM
Author: dark vigorous milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#37291125)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2019 7:58 PM
Author: Mauve vibrant indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#38156666)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2020 2:09 AM
Author: Floppy hall hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#40911749)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 6th, 2020 12:21 AM
Author: Cyan mewling garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#41295001)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 6th, 2020 12:46 AM
Author: Floppy hall hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#41295234)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 29th, 2020 10:31 PM
Author: Floppy hall hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#41458867)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2020 1:31 AM
Author: Floppy hall hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#41557739)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2021 1:13 AM
Author: Mauve vibrant indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#42032903)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2021 10:38 PM
Author: Floppy hall hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#43273915)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2023 1:37 AM
Author: Sick gaming laptop sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#46542023)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2023 1:39 AM
Author: Marvelous fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#46542036)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2023 1:41 AM
Author: Chrome Tank

more proof that tbf is an asian male

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#46542043)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2023 7:10 AM
Author: histrionic wild famous landscape painting national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#46542250)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 5th, 2024 7:15 AM
Author: Sick gaming laptop sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48165642)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 5th, 2024 7:29 AM
Author: Awkward Geriatric Whorehouse Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48165660)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2025 2:29 AM
Author: Sick gaming laptop sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48597068)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 5th, 2025 9:32 AM
Author: canary brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48904722)



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Date: May 20th, 2025 7:01 AM
Author: canary brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#48946559)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 3rd, 2025 9:36 AM
Author: Sick gaming laptop sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2#49397322)