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I smear the toilet seat with my semen at house parties.
| swollen domesticated famous landscape painting | 08/02/13 |
| Federal temple | 08/03/13 |
| onyx trip athletic conference | 08/02/13 |
| aromatic pink becky | 08/02/13 |
| swollen domesticated famous landscape painting | 08/02/13 |
| aromatic pink becky | 08/02/13 |
| mint soggy box office azn | 08/02/13 |
| Fragrant Chest-beating Doctorate | 08/02/13 |
| marvelous autistic meetinghouse | 08/02/13 |
| swollen domesticated famous landscape painting | 08/02/13 |
| marvelous autistic meetinghouse | 08/02/13 |
| swollen domesticated famous landscape painting | 08/02/13 |
| marvelous autistic meetinghouse | 08/02/13 |
| swollen domesticated famous landscape painting | 08/02/13 |
| At-the-ready Fuchsia Bbw Giraffe | 08/02/13 |
| Magical circlehead | 08/02/13 |
| Pale Spot | 08/02/13 |
| Thriller lake hell electric furnace | 08/02/13 |
| swollen domesticated famous landscape painting | 08/03/13 |
| tan state digit ratio | 08/02/13 |
| swollen domesticated famous landscape painting | 08/02/13 |
| spectacular corner hairy legs | 08/02/13 |
| onyx trip athletic conference | 08/02/13 |
| Bronze market | 08/03/13 |
| metal pisswyrm | 08/04/13 |
| ebony galvanic set | 05/15/18 |
| Mega Penis | 07/06/26 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:28 AM Author: swollen domesticated famous landscape painting I hate these whores who get drunk at parties and leave with alphas they just met. They won't even look at me, me with my prestigious Juris Doctor degree, me with my stable income, me with my expensive suits, me a bona fide member of the bar, me a legend in the County Court lunchroom. No, these sluts chase firefighters and flight lieutenants, actors and athletes, cool chill bros with smooth faces and square jawlines.
But I have the toilet.
Yeah, while you're out there shaking your tits for the hunk parade, I'm parked here jerking off to the thought of you fucked. I go for slow, leisurely strokes, detailed, almost literary, scenarios. You knock. "I need to pee!" My fist goes spastic, responding. It only takes a minute or two. I'm efficient.
Door opens. Surprise, you're drunk. Don't even bother waiting for me to finish washing my hands. You just plop on the toilet, jeans down, legs splayed. I dry my hands, ever the gentleman, not even risking a sidelong glance. "Hey, why's the seat all--"
Door closes.
It only takes one. One little sperm to make its journey up your cunt canal, depositing my little protein package in your unguarded womb. Yeah, he'll get to rail you tonight, but only to spooge in a balloon (I heard the crinkle when he took his wallet out earlier). If you balloon--when you balloon--odds are it will be mine. You'll think it's his, he'll think it's his, but that nose, those eyes? They're mine.
And 23 years later, when your little bundle of joy takes his little 23andme test, the sordid truth will out. Check the scores. You: shamed slut. Him: shamed cuck. Me: laughing all the way to the sperm bank.
I don't get invited to many parties. |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:56 PM Author: Federal temple 180 azn man's tale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23773495) |
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:30 AM Author: onyx trip athletic conference yes, tomcats do this as well thru "territorial marking." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23766896) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:50 AM Author: aromatic pink becky I've never heard of someone impregnating an upper thigh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23766904) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:17 AM Author: swollen domesticated famous landscape painting (dates fat girls) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23767562) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:45 PM Author: aromatic pink becky *pisses on toilet seats* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23769484) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:52 AM Author: mint soggy box office azn is this an original work? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23766906) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:35 AM Author: Fragrant Chest-beating Doctorate it appears so although the similarities to "grateful shiteater" cannot be discarded out of hand (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23766945) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:20 AM Author: marvelous autistic meetinghouse I shared a bathroom w my sisters growing up and was terrified of accidentally doing this, but had nowhere else to fap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23767574) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:21 AM Author: swollen domesticated famous landscape painting Was your family too poor to buy Clorox? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23767582) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:22 AM Author: marvelous autistic meetinghouse I would clean the bathroom after but there was always that "what if"
plus I was like 12 |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:27 AM Author: swollen domesticated famous landscape painting You usually orgasmed to that WHAT IF, didn't you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23767605) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:29 AM Author: marvelous autistic meetinghouse or something I watched on cinemax after I was supposed to be asleep (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23767616) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:10 PM Author: swollen domesticated famous landscape painting Your sisters were on Cinemax? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23769338) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:24 AM Author: At-the-ready Fuchsia Bbw Giraffe lol at "terrified"
moar like "excited at the thought" |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:26 AM Author: Magical circlehead this. you don't get terrified of impregnating your sister while you have her panties covering your face and you're vigorously stroking your cock. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23767598) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:37 PM Author: Pale Spot I was particularly worried when my sisters took a bath. I totally forgot about that until this thread reminded me. I wonder how many abortions they had (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23769451) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:29 PM Author: Thriller lake hell electric furnace this thread is pretty 1029 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23769427) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:53 PM Author: swollen domesticated famous landscape painting underrated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23773485) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:10 PM Author: tan state digit ratio Why would you do this to your own spawn? He's basically shamed for life as a bastard child now. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23769560) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:51 PM Author: swollen domesticated famous landscape painting I will legitimate the spawn I sire with a submissive CGWBT who gives me her virginity on our wedding night. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23770704) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: spectacular corner hairy legs The nose knows! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23769659) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: onyx trip athletic conference i laffed, why. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23769663) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 2:01 PM Author: Bronze market An Faggot? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23773513) |
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Date: August 4th, 2013 8:21 AM Author: metal pisswyrm Fuck my ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#23777266) |
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Date: May 15th, 2018 2:09 AM Author: ebony galvanic set (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#36053151) |
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Date: July 6th, 2026 8:57 PM Author: Mega Penis (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...#49982780) |