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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Hilarious Rusted Field
  04/24/15
...
Histrionic Halford Heaven
  04/24/15
...
Territorial Haunted Graveyard Office
  04/24/15
...
Blue fragrant parlor telephone
  04/24/15
did this today
Red fantasy-prone cuckold
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
Cordovan Gas Station
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
jade step-uncle's house
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
titillating azn center
  10/22/15
...
erotic very tactful casino laser beams
  10/22/15
...
Elite bawdyhouse
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
heady mother
  10/22/15
...
Hilarious Rusted Field
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Mind-boggling Shrine Weed Whacker
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Hilarious Rusted Field
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Mind-boggling Shrine Weed Whacker
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Hilarious Rusted Field
  05/16/16
...
stirring brunch boistinker
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
comical cruise ship
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Razzmatazz plum dopamine dingle berry
  12/28/16
...
stirring brunch boistinker
  11/11/20
...
Soul-stirring Idiot
  07/26/24
...
topaz whorehouse filthpig
  10/08/25
...
MAHA Movement
  11/09/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Hilarious Rusted Field

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Histrionic Halford Heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Territorial Haunted Graveyard Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Blue fragrant parlor telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Red fantasy-prone cuckold

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: Cordovan Gas Station

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: jade step-uncle's house

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: titillating azn center

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: erotic very tactful casino laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Elite bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: heady mother

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Hilarious Rusted Field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Mind-boggling Shrine Weed Whacker

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Hilarious Rusted Field

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Mind-boggling Shrine Weed Whacker

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Hilarious Rusted Field

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: stirring brunch boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: comical cruise ship

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Razzmatazz plum dopamine dingle berry

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: stirring brunch boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: Soul-stirring Idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: topaz whorehouse filthpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: MAHA Movement



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id#49414142)