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told female friend tonight how much i wanted to eat her out...

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM Author: Bristol Palin's ret...
buck-toothed twisted property
  10/15/14
...
Ocher glittery place of business address
  10/15/14
Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by sur...
vivacious space
  10/15/14
I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911&qu...
Hideous Curious Lettuce
  10/15/14
sooo good
buck-toothed twisted property
  10/15/14
dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form ...
magenta den
  10/15/14
Always great
bistre lay windowlicker
  10/15/14
...
buck-toothed twisted property
  10/17/14
!!!
Beady-eyed laser beams
  10/17/14
wtf
Vibrant Godawful Nowag Cuck
  10/17/14
This is embarrassing
carnelian giraffe
  10/17/14
fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily comp...
Pontificating walnut mexican
  10/17/14
I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique ...
Duck-like Ebony Jap
  10/17/14
yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good wor...
Floppy faggotry corner
  10/17/14
thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen ...
buck-toothed twisted property
  10/17/14
can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madelin...
autistic alcoholic candlestick maker
  11/05/14
I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort...
bossy sapphire cuckold garrison
  10/17/14
...
Floppy faggotry corner
  10/26/14
...
cracking queen of the night
  10/26/14
...
buck-toothed twisted property
  11/05/14
Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading...
Citrine 180 Mood
  11/05/14
Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the wh...
Buff Hairraiser Theater Stage
  11/05/14
oh ho!
Dull filthpig
  11/05/14
my favorite line
redpilled tradcath nietzschean eugenicist girldad
  06/08/26
never caught this one until now. thnx.
Plum parlor regret
  11/05/14
...
Razzle carmine spot kitty cat
  06/06/20
...
buck-toothed twisted property
  02/11/22
...
Pearl ceo community account
  03/05/22
tyft
slate charismatic love of her life lodge
  03/05/22
...
need tokens
  06/08/26
Important bump
Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband
  06/08/26
...
need tokens
  06/08/26
Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 mon...
'"'"''"
  06/08/26
...
need tokens
  06/10/26
I wonder what he's up to now
Giant Naked Hitler
  06/10/26
playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue
Metal Up Your Ass
  06/10/26
Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for ince...
lfo
  06/10/26
I suspect that was gunnerattt tp
diarrhea blaster
  06/10/26
...
PriapismHaver666
  06/10/26
...
ruinous phenotype
  06/10/26
I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central ...
lfo
  06/10/26
the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausti...
Juan Eighty
  06/10/26


Poast new message in this thread



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Date: October 15th, 2014 6:43 AM
Author: buck-toothed twisted property

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM

Author: Bristol Palin's retarded incest baby (You keep calling me Babu. It's Singh, mother fucker.)

though i certainly intended to flirt with her, i had not seriously considered telling her that i fantasized about eating her out ( which i do) it just came up.

see she was talking to me about this loserfuck ( she actually did call him a loser) she is obsessed with for reasons she herself does not understand. he is some low level officer in the navy while she is off to the peace corps in february. she is obsessed with him but according to her he doesn't give a crap about her, just using her as a convenient booty call. she told me the guy was so vapid and beneath her and low class and emotionally cold and yada yada but that she couldn't stop thinking about him and obsessing over him etc.

she asks me what she should do and i just tell her not to get too emotional or romantic about him, since the peace corps will end all chance for a relationship and probably change the very things she finds attractive in a man.

Now at this point in time i am thinking my friend's attachment to this douche is physical. she is VERY sexual, the relationship she describes sounds like a fuck buddy relationship gone complicated, and in my head i am imagining a buff navy jock.

so i add....." if the fucking is good just use him as a living dildo ..." but the fucking ISN'T good" she exclaims . what to do you mean i ask " he doesn't care about me , even in bed he is a very selfish lover"

Now i am a virgin, but i am pretty aware of what this phrase means. not only that, but i am aware my friend loves to get eaten out, how do i know this? because she has a guide to eating out pussy on her fucking myspace. its literally the first thing you see, and its been there for at least a year.

"so he doesn''t go down on you " i tell her. she looks slightly shocked." well i know you like to get eaten out since you have a guide for it on your myspace"

she starts laughing, but after a bit she looks at me and she sya " i do love it" she says , and blushes. " he never doesit " she complains. well why would he, if he knows he can just fuck you ?

" yeah he doesn't even have to ask we just get alone and im on him,but it sucks every time!"

now this entire conversation i have had my left arm over her shoulders, this conversation has taken place in the form of conspiratorial whispers in each others ears. at this point in time i lean in. " you know that time we went dancing at passion and you had that black skirt on" " yeah" only then did i notice you have great legs ( she laughs) ever since then i have wanted to eat you out,( oh ho! she says) you don't have to do anything ( Noo she says and starts slowlly but firmly pushing me away with both hands) " you don't have to do anything just lie there and enjoy and of course tell me what yu want ( she keeps pushing me slowly away) " i won't even take off my clothes, ill put a cell phone in your hand so you can call the cops if i dosomething you don't want" ( at this point she says my name and says no firmly.)

I look at her for twenty or so seconds and then say " allright" I scoot away so there is a good 30 inches of space separating us. the next couple of minutes are somewhat awkward. but Ten minutes later we are talking like NOTHING happened.

we then continued a series of raucus and interesting conversations, even returning to the navy guy, but also discussing the peace corps the imminent start for law school for me , the craziness of central african nations. we talked for another THREE AND A HALF hours after my very explicit comeon and there was no akwardness or sign of damage to our friendhsip.

we are hanging out again on saturday.

oh and the setting was a small bar/restaurant with these little nooks and such.

and for those who are going to tell me that i came on as desperate and that i am FRIENDZONEPWNED be aware i am already aware of this . i am resigned to my fate. she was never long term girlfriend material and icertainly have no romantic feelings towards her.

she is just a funny supercool latina CGWBT. if all i can be with her is friends ill gladly take the friendship.

why can't more girls be like this? THIS is how you turn down a pass, you don't have to go ahead and make the guy asahmed that he has a cock betweeen his legs. my friend was very firm, but she did not make me feel bad or guilty or anything. learn from this girls.

( http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=675218&forum_id=2#8544713 )

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519775)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 7:00 AM
Author: Ocher glittery place of business address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519788)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:11 AM
Author: vivacious space

Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by surprise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519900)



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Date: October 15th, 2014 8:29 AM
Author: Hideous Curious Lettuce

I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911" meme, thanks for the reminder. I'll just circle back when I need a quick laugh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519953)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:08 PM
Author: buck-toothed twisted property

sooo good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26522226)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:09 PM
Author: magenta den

dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26522233)



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Date: October 15th, 2014 3:16 PM
Author: bistre lay windowlicker

Always great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26522297)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:30 PM
Author: buck-toothed twisted property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538501)



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Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: Beady-eyed laser beams

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538515)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: Vibrant Godawful Nowag Cuck

wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538516)



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Date: October 17th, 2014 9:35 PM
Author: carnelian giraffe

This is embarrassing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538531)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:37 PM
Author: Pontificating walnut mexican

fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily completely consumed by this story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538541)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:42 PM
Author: Duck-like Ebony Jap

I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique post.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538567)



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Date: October 17th, 2014 9:45 PM
Author: Floppy faggotry corner

yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good work around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538588)



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Date: October 17th, 2014 9:48 PM
Author: buck-toothed twisted property

thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700246&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538619)



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Date: November 5th, 2014 9:23 AM
Author: autistic alcoholic candlestick maker

can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madeline "numbah two" chen?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653055)



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Date: October 17th, 2014 9:51 PM
Author: bossy sapphire cuckold garrison

I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort lexicon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538650)



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Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: Floppy faggotry corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26587986)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: cracking queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26587988)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 5:45 AM
Author: buck-toothed twisted property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26652645)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:29 AM
Author: Citrine 180 Mood

Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading on xo. Getting a little teary eyed here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653282)



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Date: November 5th, 2014 10:31 AM
Author: Buff Hairraiser Theater Stage

Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the whole weekend?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653296)



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Date: November 5th, 2014 11:18 AM
Author: Dull filthpig

oh ho!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653485)



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Date: June 8th, 2026 10:16 AM
Author: redpilled tradcath nietzschean eugenicist girldad

my favorite line

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49922129)



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Date: November 5th, 2014 11:25 AM
Author: Plum parlor regret

never caught this one until now. thnx.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653508)



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Date: June 6th, 2020 7:53 PM
Author: Razzle carmine spot kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#40365552)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2022 10:19 PM
Author: buck-toothed twisted property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#43954057)



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Date: March 5th, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: Pearl ceo community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#44089135)



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Date: March 5th, 2022 10:15 AM
Author: slate charismatic love of her life lodge

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#44089181)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:20 AM
Author: need tokens



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49921834)



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Date: June 8th, 2026 1:31 AM
Author: Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband (oppose bitchbois)

Important bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49921844)



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Date: June 8th, 2026 2:10 PM
Author: need tokens



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49922845)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:13 PM
Author: '"'"''"

Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49922870)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:35 PM
Author: need tokens



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927940)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:41 PM
Author: Giant Naked Hitler (hitler did nothing wrong)

I wonder what he's up to now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927942)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:46 PM
Author: Metal Up Your Ass

playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927950)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:53 PM
Author: lfo

Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for incest with mama.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DEdwvcZOaqH/?img_index=1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927960)



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Date: June 10th, 2026 1:57 PM
Author: diarrhea blaster

I suspect that was gunnerattt tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927967)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 11:01 PM
Author: PriapismHaver666



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49929626)



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Date: June 10th, 2026 1:44 PM
Author: ruinous phenotype



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927947)



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Date: June 10th, 2026 1:47 PM
Author: lfo

I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central African nations. Amazing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927953)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 3:03 PM
Author: Juan Eighty

the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausting hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49928176)