Alias monikers identified in source context include: gunneratttt, See Ex. C at Bates No. 000001, alpha+outgoing 24/7 thingdoer introvert, slippery socio-emotio-economic slope, kumbaya moderate sashaying into your thread, Creator and Destroyer of sexually traumatized boys.

This poaster operates as a central, high-volume combatant and meta-commentator within the $hitbort ecosystem. Their strategic function is to serve as a primary engine of engagement by initiating protracted, evidence-based disputes while simultaneously disclosing a significant volume of personal information. This combination makes them both a reliable instigator of and a primary target for interpersonal conflict, fueling numerous threads with their detailed arguments and self-disclosures.

1.1. Role and General Persona

As a "megapoaster," this individual functions as both a central protagonist and antagonist on the $hitbort. Their persona is that of a combative intellectual who engages in long-form debates, often substantiating claims by providing "receipts" in the form of hyperlinks to past poasts. They also operate in a non-confrontational mode as a Subject Matter Explainer on topics like law and finance. They frequently poast about their professional life as a lawyer and personal life details, including relationships and social activities. This high level of personal disclosure makes them a consistent and accessible target for other poasters, positioning them at the epicenter of many of the forum's recurring conflicts.

1.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* XO Meta-Discourse: Engages in frequent discussions about the state of the $hitbort and their role within it, often in a defensive capacity, such as refuting accusations from antagonists like Candy Ride who label him a "girly Reddit faggot who outs posters."

* Legal Profession: Discusses BigLaw culture, professional anxieties, legal technology such as AI, and specific legal topics like transferrable mortgages.

* Personal Life Disclosures: Reveals details about their social life, including their "hot new wife," plans for "michellin dinner and broadway," and friendships, which serve as fodder for both their own poasts and attacks from others.

* Political Commentary: Articulates political positions, such as their stated inability to "consider a dem until they go through a restructuring like maga gop" while also acknowledging that "partisan gridlock is destroying tbis country."

* Climate Science Debates: Participates in discussions on climate change, positioning themselves not as an expert but as a mediator between expert opinions, stating "neither of us are qualified to even 'debate' this. it's a battle of the experts."

* Psychological Self-Analysis: Poasts extensively about personality traits, identifying as an "outgoing introvert" or "INTJ" and debating the definition by citing web-based popular psychology articles and encyclopedia entries. They assert, "no megapoasters are extroverts. an extrovert would get nothing from a text based chatblog."

1.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

This poaster's interaction style is predominantly combative and dialectical, but they also adopt an explanatory mode in non-confrontational contexts. In debate, they engage opponents directly, often employing structured arguments, presenting external links as evidence, and accusing antagonists of hypocrisy or intellectual dishonesty. A typical tactic involves recalling an opponent's past statements to undermine their current position, as seen when confronting Candy Ride: "remember how tried to get cslg to mentor you and they gave up because of how autistic and stupid you are? crazy how you were a philosemite then." This poaster shifts between modes of reasoned debate, deploying personal insults ("you're painfully dumb"), and offering lengthy, defensive explanations of their own psychological makeup.

1.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Antagonistic Relationship with Candy Ride: This is a primary feud. t3h P0aStEr oF d00m!!!!!!!! accuses Candy Ride of being "autistic and stupid" and a hypocritical bigot, while Candy Ride attacks their employment status ("W-2eratttt") and accuses them of "outing" poasters.

* Banter and Conflict with everything is slop no going back tp: This dynamic is characterized by exchanges that alternate between mundane social inquiries regarding friends and family and morbid provocations, such as the response, "i'll murder him to death as that is deserved per your moral framework."

* Mutual Antagonism with cock of michael obama: This conflict centers on accusations of excessive poasting. When cock of michael obama accuses them of having "extreme verbal diarrhea," they refute this by claiming cock of michael obama produces "about 5x more total volume than me."

* Defense by battlefield 1488: The source context documents instances where this poaster is defended. battlefield 1488 states, "Gunner has his faults but he's definitely not one of the people who ruined this forum."

1.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "remember how tried to get cslg to mentor you and they gave up because of how autistic and stupid you are? crazy how you were a philosemite then. what a principled based bigot you are!"

* "they just got married this year so no babby lol. and she just took the bar this week, not a gold digger. and im meeting him in mfh tomorrow for michellin dinner and broadway like yny"

* "i'll murder him to death as that is deserved per your moral framework"

* "you produce about 5x more total volume than me and write lengthy schizo blogpoasts on top of it."

* "no megapoasters are extroverts. an extrovert would get nothing from a text based chatblog. thats why its almost all dorky dudes."

* "i think partisan gridlock is destroying tbis country, but reading kentanji opinions that moderate biden appointed makes it impossible for me to consider a dem until they go through a restructuring like maga gop."

* "transferrable mortgages require, of course, an appraisal on the property you're seeking to transfer it to. i don't think anyone anticipates that it would function that way."

* "i kinda feel bad for people like tbf and other intelligent/successful far-right people. their movement is very attractive to dysgenic loserfucks blaming their lot on everyone but themselves."

This poaster's primary function is to act as a high-engagement, controversial figure whose detailed self-disclosures consistently fuel the $hitbort's interpersonal drama.

2. everything is slop no going back tp

This poaster's presence on the $hitbort is defined by their cynical, often cryptic commentary. Their strategic function is to act as a thematic anchor and mood regulator, consistently re-grounding complex debates in a baseline of fatalism that is a core component of the $hitbort's subculture. This persona contrasts sharply with the long-form, argumentative styles of other central poasters, providing a constant undercurrent of bleak resignation.

2.1. Role and General Persona

This individual embodies a persona of cynical resignation and dark humor. Their role is to comment on ongoing discussions with short, often lowercase, bleak statements that underscore a worldview of irreversible decline. They rarely engage in extended debate, instead acting as a purveyor of laconic observations. The moniker itself—everything is slop no going back tp—functions as a continuous thesis statement for their entire poasting output.

2.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Nihilism and Decline: Articulates a worldview of irreversible societal and cultural decay, encapsulated by the moniker itself and the poast "everything is slop no going back tp."

* Gender Dynamics: Expresses cynical views on women and romantic relationships through stark, generalizing statements such as "Women are ONE EIGHTY."

* Morbid and Absurdist Humor: Engages in dark banter, particularly concerning patricide ("If you see my father... Tell him 😑") and its practical consequences ("Wait I have concerns about estate planning").

* Historical Non-Sequiturs: Deploys seemingly random historical facts to disrupt or comment on discussions, such as the poast, "Ghengis Kahn did not have lawyers but instead a team of wizards who could interpret the involvement of the gods on human affairs."

2.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

The poaster's typical interaction style is defined by its brevity and fatalism. They employ laconic, often lowercase poasts that inject a sense of nihilistic inevitability into conversations (e.g., "haha yeah haha"). These brief contributions function as a stark contrast to the lengthy, often heated arguments of other poasters. Their style is not directly confrontational but serves to subtly undermine the seriousness or purpose of a given debate by framing all outcomes as equally meaningless within a larger context of decay.

2.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Primary Foil to t3h P0aStEr oF d00m!!!!!!!!: This is their primary interaction dynamic. It consists of a conversational back-and-forth that mixes personal inquiry ("Did they form babby?") with surreal provocations and morbid requests related to their father.

2.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "everything is slop no going back tp"

* "haha yeah haha"

* "Women are ONE EIGHTY"

* "Ghengis Kahn did not have lawyers but instead a team of wizards who could interpret the involvement of the gods on human affairs. U = poast"

* "If you see my father... Tell him 😑"

* "Wait I have concerns about estate planning"

* "Tell him that I gave of counsel head"

This poaster acts as a nihilistic chorus figure whose pithy, fatalistic interjections provide a consistent thematic undercurrent of decline on the $hitbort.

3. Candy Ride

This poaster is a purely aggressive and confrontational antagonist whose presence on the $hitbort is defined by attacks on other users. Their strategic function within the forum's ecosystem is to act as a low-effort provocateur, using targeted insults and slurs to derail substantive discussion and elicit reactions from high-profile monikers, thereby generating conflict without contributing to debate.

3.1. Role and General Persona

Candy Ride operates as an aggressive antagonist whose primary function is to attack and insult other poasters. Their persona is that of a flame warrior who targets individuals perceived as part of the professional establishment or those they have personal animosity towards. They rely on ad hominem attacks, slurs, and accusations rather than reasoned arguments, embodying a purely confrontational stance.

3.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Anti-Employment Sentiment: Consistently expresses contempt for traditional white-collar employment, using pejorative terms such as "W-2eratttt" to insult others.

* Antisemitism: Deploys overtly antisemitic language as a form of attack, exemplified by the poast, "Keep sucking Jew dick for a W-2 paycheck."

* Accusations of Outing: Specifically accuses other poasters, namely gunneratttt, of revealing the real-life identities of anonymous users with poasts like, "You just repeatedly outted someone you fucking faggot."

* Denial of Identity: Explicitly denies being another well-known poaster (ZZZ) when accused, stating, "I'm not ZZZ, W-2eratttt."

3.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

The interaction style of Candy Ride is characterized by its reliance on crude, ad hominem attacks and slurs designed to provoke a reaction. Their poasts are typically short and devoid of substantive argument, such as "Lol if u think I’m reading this womanly tripe estrogen..." They function as a low-effort flame warrior whose purpose is to derail conversations by injecting raw aggression. This style contrasts with poasters who engage in detailed debate, as Candy Ride explicitly refuses to engage with longer poasts.

3.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Primary Antagonist to t3h P0aStEr oF d00m!!!!!!!!/gunneratttt: This is their most significant and documented interaction. The dynamic is defined by a constant stream of insults and accusations from Candy Ride (e.g., "He’s a girly Reddit faggot who outs posters") and detailed, evidence-based rebuttals from gunneratttt.

3.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "That's what you do for your employer."

* "Keep sucking Jew dick for a W-2 paycheck."

* "I'm not ZZZ, W-2eratttt."

* "You just repeatedly outted someone you fucking faggot"

* "Lol if u think I’m reading this womanly tripe estrogen..."

* "He’s a girly Reddit faggot who outs posters. He henpec..."

This poaster's function is to serve as a source of raw, unfiltered aggression on the $hitbort, generating conflict through provocation and insult.

4. ...,,...,,....,.,.,.,.,...,,,,,,,........,.,.,.,.

This poaster, identifiable by their distinctive punctuation-based moniker, is a key proponent and practitioner of artificial intelligence in the legal field. Their strategic function on the $hitbort is as a technologist evangelist, championing the disruptive potential of high-end AI and positioning themselves as an expert early adopter whose poasts provide a specific, technologically-focused counterpoint to generalized professional commentary.

4.1. Role and General Persona

This individual's role is that of a technologist and legal professional who advocates for the integration of advanced AI into legal practice. They present themselves as an expert user of "GPT 5 research grade" AI, claiming it can generate "flawless briefs" and outperform human associates. Their persona is confident and dismissive of skepticism, framing themselves as being on the cutting edge of a technological revolution that will reshape the legal industry.

4.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* AI in Litigation: Extensively details the use of AI for complex legal work, claiming to produce "40+ page startlingly intricate and accurate law" in minutes and stating, "GPT 5 I literally trust more than nearly all associates."

* Prompt Engineering as a Skill: Argues that litigators who "naysay" AI are deficient in their technical abilities, classifying them as either "poor prompt engineers" or "too cheap/poor to afford pro."

* Future of Legal Tech: Speculates on the next wave of AI capabilities, particularly the integration of ChatGPT into discovery files to "crawl around and look for shit," which they predict will be a major turning point.

* Dismissal of Ethical Concerns: Displays a cavalier attitude towards traditional professional concerns like client confidentiality, responding to a question about it with, "Yeah who gives a fuck at this point."

* Disdain for Junior Lawyers: Expresses a clear desire to replace human associates with AI, specifically mentioning the ability to "let go some of my entitled spoiled rich-kid shitlib associates from CLS."

4.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

This poaster's interaction style is characterized by an evangelistic and assured tone regarding the supremacy of AI. They confidently assert the capabilities of the technology and dismiss criticism by attributing it to the critic's lack of skill or financial resources—a common trope in technological boosterism. For example, when a poaster expresses skepticism, they respond by implying the use of an inferior product: "using thinking version (20/month) rather than research grade intelligence (200/month)."

4.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Debate with the walter white of this generation (walt jr.): This dynamic is a technical debate between an AI proponent and a skeptic. The discussion focuses on practical limitations, the accuracy of citations, and the "hallucination" tendencies of different AI platforms, with this poaster consistently defending the capabilities of higher-tier models.

* Correcting Dave Prole: They directly counter Dave Prole's skepticism about AI's writing ability by suggesting he is using the inferior, cheaper version of the AI platform, thus invalidating his critique.

4.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "30 mins and it generated a masterpiece. Litigators who naysay it are either 1) poor prompt engineers (likely) 2) too cheap/poor to afford pro"

* "Yeah who gives a fuck at this point"

* "THAT will allow me to let go some of my entitled spoiled rich-kid shitlib associates from CLS."

* "GPT 5 I literally trust more than nearly all associates. It is pure insanity"

* "I know joking, but if you're absolutely scorched earth in criticism it beautifully handles those with precision and ease. Much better than handlng to some associate you have to treat with kid gloves"

This poaster functions as an avatar of technological disruption within the legal profession, confidently heralding an AI-driven future while dismissing all practical and ethical objections.

5. the walter white of this generation (walt jr.)

This poaster operates as a critical skeptic, particularly concerning the practical application of AI in the legal profession. Their strategic importance lies in providing a grounded, experience-based counter-narrative to the boosterism of AI evangelists. They represent the archetype of the "Pragmatic Technologist," a voice of caution and realism grounded in a belief in tangible consequences and real-world efficacy.

5.1. Role and General Persona

This individual's persona is that of a seasoned legal professional who is pro-AI in principle but highly critical of its current limitations. They engage in technical debates about AI platforms, focusing on issues like "hallucinating" sources and the practical difficulties of integrating AI into complex legal workflows. They position themselves as an experienced user who has tested these tools and found them wanting for high-stakes work, stating, "There's still no substitute for having d[iscovery] attorneys review documents." In separate contexts, they articulate a moralistic stance on online speech, arguing for tangible consequences in response to a "lack of decency."

5.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* AI Limitations in Legal Practice: Frequently discusses the shortcomings of AI tools like ChatGPT, noting that "the vast majority of its current utility is in providing a more useful version of Google" rather than performing substantive legal work.

* Hallucination of Sources: A primary concern is the tendency of AI to invent citations, noting that Westlaw's AI is superior because it will "100% refuse to do" tasks that might lead to hallucination.

* Critique of Tech Evangelism: Expresses skepticism towards the uncritical promotion of AI, using satire to mock proponents with poasts like, "Sponsored DLA PIPER poast. Mr. Turdskin is a paid spokesm..."

* Decency in Discourse: Articulates a moral stance on online speech, arguing that consequences like physical violence are acceptable responses to a "lack of decency," framing it as distinct from political opinions.

5.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is analytical and confrontational, grounded in specific technical details. They directly challenge the assertions of AI proponents by citing their own negative experiences with the technology. They also use sarcasm and direct insults ("Easy there, queer") in their debates. In discussions outside of technology, they adopt a moralistic tone, drawing analogies to argue that certain forms of speech forfeit protection from real-world consequences.

5.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Primary Skeptic to ... ,,...,,....,.,.,.,.,...,,,,,,,........,.,.,.,.: This is their key dynamic, acting as the main technical counterpoint to the AI evangelist. Their exchanges focus on the practical failings of AI, with the walter white of this generation (walt jr.) highlighting issues of reliability that the other poaster dismisses.

5.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "I've found the opposite; the vast majority of its current utility is in providing a more useful version of Google."

* "I have always credited the Westlaw ai with not hallucinating in the way chatgpt likes to -- although, if you notice, you can straight-up tell it to give you case quotes so you can opportunistically sift through them, and it will 100% refuse to do so."

* "This I agree with. There's still no substitute for having d[iscovery] attorneys review documents."

* "It's no different from burning a cross on a black neighbor's lawn, or cyberbullying a teen girl until she kills herself."

* "People aren't mad about political 'opinions' - they're mad about a lack of decency."

* "Easy there, queer"

This poaster functions as a pragmatic and technically-grounded critic, challenging technological hype with firsthand accounts of its practical failings.

6. Dave Prole

This poaster is a vocal skeptic of AI's application in the legal field, representing the perspective of a practicing attorney who finds current technology inadequate for their specific work. Their strategic importance on the $hitbort is to serve as the voice of the established, mainstream professional who remains unconvinced by the promises of technological disruption and views esoteric skills like "sophisticated prompting" as irrelevant to the broader industry.

6.1. Role and General Persona

Dave Prole's persona is that of a practical, no-nonsense lawyer who has attempted to integrate AI into their workflow but found it fundamentally flawed. They argue that for their work, AI "majorly sucks at writing anything from scratch" and that reviewing its output for errors "takes 100x longer than just doing it manually." They position themselves as representative of the "90%+ of practicing attorneys" who are incapable of the "sophisticated prompting" lauded by AI evangelists on the forum.

6.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* AI Inadequacy for Transactional Law: Focuses on the failure of AI in drafting and following precedents, stating, "it doesn't follow precedents/forms well, so to catch the 2% that is obviously broken, it takes 100x longer."

* Skepticism of Prompting Skills: Frames "sophisticated prompting" as an esoteric skill possessed only by a small minority of "AI shitlaw trailblazers on autoadmit," making it irrelevant for the broader legal profession.

* Future AI Potential: Expresses a belief that their mind "might be changed when the LLMs that are trained off law firm emails and documents get up and running," but maintains that current iterations are "shit."

* Professional Boundaries: In a separate context, they advise a firm to deal with a departing associate by simply "[l]ock[ing] them out of their email accounts," suggesting a pragmatic and impersonal approach to professional conflicts.

6.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

The interaction style of Dave Prole is grounded and dismissive. They present their arguments as practical truths derived from experience. They counter the evangelism of AI proponents not by debating technical minutiae, but by stating plainly that the technology does not work for their needs. They are also capable of curt, dismissive poasts, such as, "I'll enjoy never responding to your thread so you can keep flexing about reviewing documents yourself like a dumbass."

6.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Critical Engagement with ... ,,...,,....,.,.,.,.,...,,,,,,,........,.,.,.,.: They directly challenge the AI evangelist's claims, asserting that AI is "fine at raw analysis and legal research but still majorly sucks at writing anything from scratch." The evangelist, in turn, dismisses Dave Prole's critique by suggesting they are using an inferior version of the AI.

6.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "I use $200/month, and 4.5 is better at legal drafting than p..."

* "It's fine at raw analysis and legal research but still majorly sucks at writing anything from scratch"

* "90%+ of practicing attorneys like epah will never be capable of sophisticated prompting like the upper 99th percentile of AI shitlaw trailblazers on autoadmit"

* "You can prompt all you want, but it isn't there yet for what I do. I've tried more than most to make it work."

* "Lock them out of their email accounts"

This poaster serves as a grounding force in technology discussions, representing the pragmatic skepticism of the mainstream legal professional.

7. AZNgirl Declaring Inalienable Right to AZNpussy

Alias monikers identified in source context include: AZNgirl telling 5'4 White Guy He's Tall Enough, AZNgirl Taking 100% Equity Stake in Howard Lutnick, AZNgirl asking Othani why he didn't hit 4 homers, AZNgirl Raping Taj Mahal because it's White, AZNgirl Writing 'Hamas Meeting' on AZNFrat House, AZNgirl Shoving Dad in Hole in Charlie Kirk's Neck, AZNgirl Wearing 'Detain my Pussy' Sign outside ICE.

This poaster is a high-volume contributor known for their provocative, thematic monikers and wide-ranging commentary on travel, culture, race, and gender. Their strategic importance on the $hitbort stems from their reliable adoption of a persona that blends world-weary cynicism with aggressive, often racially charged opinions, making them a consistent catalyst for debate and conflict.

7.1. Role and General Persona

This poaster's persona is that of a widely-traveled, cynical commentator with strong opinions on the perceived hierarchy of cultures and races. They frequently identify as "indian" and use terms like "birdshit" to refer to themselves, while simultaneously expressing contempt for other groups. They poast about their extensive travel experiences ("after going to 150 c...") as a basis for their worldview. Their commentary is often nihilistic, misogynistic, and antisemitic.

7.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Travel and Cultural Critique: Poasts extensively about travel, using their experiences to make broad, negative generalizations about various countries and cultures.

* Racial and Ethnic Commentary: Engages in constant racial discourse, using slurs and expressing prejudiced views. They refer to themselves ironically as "birdshit" while attacking other groups ("the amount of niggas, muzies, jeets, etc was insane").

* Gender and Relationships: Expresses a cynical and often contradictory view on relationships, lamenting that "pussy even aznpussy is disgusting" but also stating that "a man is truly lost when he cant find love in asian pussy."

* AI and Technology: Participates in discussions about AI, poasting that it can be used to "confirm whether its a real true trannie so u dont have to fear having sex with a gross biological female."

* Personal Apathy and Nihilism: Expresses a sense of purposelessness, stating they expect to "just dont do anything until I die" and rejecting the idea of helping people because it "maeks ppl lazier and hurts society."

7.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

The interaction style is aggressive, confrontational, and reliant on slurs and dismissive language ("oh great rebuttal birdshit"). They often respond to disagreement with crude insults and refuse to concede points. They employ a persona of jaded authority derived from their travel experiences, presenting their opinions as unassailable facts. Their poasts often serve to inject overt racism and misogyny into discussions, escalating the tone of threads.

7.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Conflict with i gave my cousin head: Engages in direct conflict, responding to being called an "idiot" with the dismissive taunt, "oh great rebuttal birdshit."

* General Antagonism: Their interactions are broadly antagonistic, challenging other poasters on topics ranging from the quality of life in Switzerland to the value of home ownership, often using racial or ethnic slurs in their rebuttals.

7.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "rofl, i know u will think im biased but after going to 150 c..."

* "rofl i was just in swiss and the amount of niggas, muzies, jeets, etc was insane"

* "a man is truly lost when he cant find love in asian pussy"

* "rofl i dont give a flying furk abt ppl they shld all go burn and hell and die"

* "when will amerishits give up this stupid fasination with "owning" a home. in germany ppl just rent"

* "even better for trannies cause u can just upload a trannie pic to chatgpt and it will confirm whether its a real true trannie so u dont have to fear having sex with a gross biological female"

* "only reason i have 1.33m is cause im indian tbf..."

This poaster functions as a high-volume chaos agent whose blend of world-weary travel commentary and overt bigotry serves to simultaneously bait engagement and reinforce the forum's extremist ideological boundaries.

8. cock of michael obama

This poaster is a frequent commentator on forum dynamics, politics, and culture, often adopting a critical and insulting tone towards other poasters. Their strategic importance lies in their role as a general-purpose antagonist and meta-commentator who engages in personal feuds and offers cynical observations on a variety of topics, contributing to the $hitbort's abrasive baseline.

8.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of cock of michael obama is that of a cynical and confrontational participant in the $hitbort's daily discourse. They are quick to insult other users, labeling them as "retard" or diagnosing their poasting habits. They engage in political discussions, expressing viewpoints such as "Years ago before I woke up I believed the in the right vs le..." and analyzing figures like Hunter Biden. They also contribute to cultural threads, such as pitching a cynical movie idea about Leonardo DiCaprio.

8.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Forum Meta-Commentary: Actively comments on the behavior of other poasters, particularly gunneratttt, whom they accuse of having "extreme verbal diarrhea."

* Political Analysis: Poasts opinions on political figures and events, describing Hunter Biden as "a dumb Irish drunk now in recovery" and opining that "everyone at this level of politics is one of these three or some combination."

* Psychological Diagnosis of Others: Frequently engages in amateur psychoanalysis of other poasters, including a debate over the definition of extraversion versus introversion.

* Cultural Critique: Offers cynical takes on popular culture, such as proposing a movie about a bored, overweight Leonardo DiCaprio who "waddles around on megayachts, complains about..."

8.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is primarily antagonistic and insulting. They initiate conflict by directly attacking other poasters' intelligence or behavior. For example, they mock gunneratttt's self-description as an "outgoing introvert" by stating, "this is called extraversion, retard." Their contributions are often intended to provoke or express contempt, rather than to foster substantive discussion.

8.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Mutual Antagonism with alpha+outgoing 24/7 thingdoer introvert (gunneratttt): This is a key antagonistic relationship. cock of michael obama attacks gunneratttt's poasting volume and self-perception, leading to direct arguments about who produces more content and the correct definition of personality traits. gunneratttt refutes the "verbal diarrhea" claim by stating, "you produce about 5x more total volume than me."

8.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "he has extreme verbal diarrhea and needs massive doses of Pepto-Bismol and/or loperamide to treat it"

* "'most outgoing' this is called extraversion, retard"

* "Years ago before I woke up I believed the in the right vs le..."

* "I'm married with children, hth."

* "movie pitch: dicaprio dates endless models, is bored, vapes & wears covid mask"

This poaster serves as a consistent antagonist and cynical commentator, fueling interpersonal conflicts and contributing to the generally abrasive tone of the $hitbort.

9. disco fries

This poaster functions as a community commentator, frequently initiating or participating in threads about other prominent monikers. Their strategic importance lies in their role as an observer and interpreter of the $hitbort's social dynamics, acting as a forum ethnographer who offers commentary that is a blend of earnest inquiry, personal anecdote, and wry observation.

9.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of disco fries is that of a reflective, sometimes melancholic, member of the community. They often poast about the lives and behaviors of other, more central figures, attempting to analyze their motivations. They initiated a thread with the premise, "Of all the poasters who come here, I feel like RSF has the worst life." This poaster also reveals personal details and their stated emotional reaction to a declined social invitation, poasting, "I tried to invite RSF over for a dinner of fun and fellowship and grilled beef hearts and he turned me down, my man. Yeah, it stings a little bit."

9.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Analysis of RSF: A significant portion of their documented activity revolves around discussing the poaster RSF, speculating on their wealth, happiness, and relationships with other poasters.

* Community and Fellowship: Expresses a desire for connection and community, as demonstrated by their attempt to host a dinner for another poaster and their stated goal to "just want to be a good husband, father, friend, man."

* Critique of Corporate Culture: In a separate context, they comment on a film about Michael Jordan, noting that the marketing story is not credible and that Jordan is now "generally reclusive and unremarkable in private life."

* Engagement in Hypotheticals: Participates in absurdist hypothetical scenarios, questioning the focus of a thread by asking, "Can we please focus on the REAL question? Has anyone tried that deep-dish place on 14th Street? Serious inquiry."

9.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is more narrative and inquisitive than confrontational. They often adopt a folksy, familiar tone using phrases like "my man." When attacked, as by Fucking Fuckface ("No one gives a fuck how you interpret anything, you doughy p..."), they do not appear to escalate the conflict. In discussions about other poasters, they offer interpretations of events and poasts, functioning as a kind of forum ethnographer.

9.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Primary Commentator on RSF: Their most documented role is analyzing and discussing RSF.

* Interaction with The Soo CR National Champion JUGGERNAUT: In a thread about RSF, The Soo CR National Champion JUGGERNAUT directs a stream of vitriolic abuse at disco fries, who responds with the calming line, "It's not your fault, my man, it's not your fault."

9.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "Of all the poasters who come here, I feel like RSF has the worst life"

* "I tried to invite RSF over for a dinner of fun and fellowship and grilled beef hearts and he turned me down, my man. Yeah, it stings a little bit. I just want to be a good husband, father, friend, man."

* "It's not your fault, my man, it's not your fault."

* "I interpreted these poasts to be: I went to lunch and a bunc..."

* "Can we please focus on the REAL question? Has anyone tried that deep-dish place on 14th Street? Serious inquiry."

This poaster acts as a narrative commentator on the $hitbort's social ecosystem, often focusing on the perceived lives and dramas of its most prominent figures.

10. The Soo CR National Champions JUGGERNAUT

This poaster is a highly aggressive and volatile figure on the $hitbort, known for initiating and escalating conflicts with extreme, often violent, and slur-laden language. Their strategic importance lies in their function as a primary antagonist and agent of chaos, reliably derailing threads into personal flame wars through overwhelming verbal assault.

10.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of The Soo CR National Champions JUGGERNAUT is one of pure, unadulterated aggression. They engage in lengthy, vitriolic tirades against other poasters, employing a wide range of racial, homophobic, and antisemitic slurs. Their poasts often contain threats of physical violence, such as, "I’m going to beat the shit out of you you fat fuck. Do you want to do a 6 round boxing match?" They are a central figure in feuds, particularly those surrounding the poaster RSF.

10.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Extreme Antagonism: Their primary theme is attacking other users. The attacks are personal, sustained, and exceptionally vulgar.

* Violent Threats: Frequently threatens other poasters with physical harm, challenging them to boxing matches and promising to send them "out of the ring on a stretcher."

* Obsession with RSF: A significant portion of their activity involves RSF, either defending him or attacking his critics.

* Use of Slurs: Their poasts are characterized by a high density of slurs, as seen in the tirade: "You stupid fat nigger faggot gook chink kike coon heeb cracker bitch ass fuck!!!!!"

* Sports Commentary: Engages in debates about college football, specifically regarding playoff rankings and team qualifications.

10.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

This poaster's interaction style is one of overwhelming verbal assault. They do not engage in reasoned debate but instead attempt to dominate threads through sheer volume and viciousness of insults. Their function appears to be to intimidate, provoke, and ultimately silence opponents through extreme hostility. They also engage in meta-commentary, acknowledging the amusement derived from conflict: "That would be way less amusing though."

10.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Conflict with disco fries: Responds to disco fries's commentary on RSF with a torrent of abuse and violent threats, demonstrating their role as a self-appointed, aggressive defender within that dynamic.

* Feuds with Various RSF Critics: Engages with multiple poasters in threads concerning RSF, including queensbridge benzo, whom they accuse of being obsessed and seething.

* Interaction with Mymanides: Engages in a back-and-forth argument with Mymanides, accusing them of "OFF THE CHARTS projection" and lying about their forum activity.

10.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "You’re such a fat disgusting pedophile looking faggot I’d never engage in public with such a disgusting loser sloth."

* "You stupid fat nigger faggot gook chink kike coon heeb cracker bitch ass fuck!!!!!"

* "I’m going to beat the shit out of you you fat fuck. Do you want to do a 6 round boxing match? We can stream it on my friends youtube channel to xo and people can take bets."

* "LMAO at them being this mad constantly for years, very pathetic"

* "Wow a link to one of your unfunny shitthreads from 9 years ago that you bumped 80 times. GOTCHA! I'm done here."

This poaster functions as a major source of extreme hostility and conflict on the $hitbort, specializing in personal attacks and violent rhetoric.

11. Upper Middle Class Dad in quarter zip golf pullove

This poaster comments on forum dynamics and politics from the perspective suggested by their moniker—that of an established, conventional, and contemptuous observer. Their strategic role is to provide a voice of scornful critique against certain poasters and behaviors, particularly those they perceive as undignified or pathetic, reinforcing a specific in-group hierarchy.

11.1. Role and General Persona

The persona is that of a judgmental "Upper Middle Class Dad," who looks down on what they see as desperate or unseemly behavior on the $hitbort. They are a critic of gunneratttt, accusing him of leading a "daily simp crew threads chatting endlessly with whichever poaster was claiming to have a female pussy." They also comment on politics, food (dismissing Indian food as "Filthy slop"), and general forum decline, stating it's "[b]een dead."

11.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Critique of gunneratttt: A primary focus is attacking gunneratttt, portraying him as the leader of a "simp crew" and someone who has "parasocial relationships with xo poasters."

* Forum Decline: Expresses the view that the forum is "dead" and that certain poasters are the "main reason" for its decline.

* Political Commentary: Participates in political discussions, offering opinions on historical elections, such as the idea that the Democrats' 1992 win was "only due to ross perot imo."

* Cultural Elitism: Expresses strong, dismissive opinions on cultural topics, such as labeling Indian cuisine as "Filthy slop."

11.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is one of cynical and dismissive commentary. They engage in ad hominem attacks but in a more derisive and less overtly violent manner than other antagonists. Their critique of gunneratttt is framed as an observation of pathetic behavior ("I guess you missed his daily simp crew threads... I don't blame you"). This projects an air of being above the fray while still actively participating in the forum's conflicts.

11.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Antagonist to gunneratttt / See Ex. C at Bates No. 000001: They are a vocal critic, accusing gunneratttt of ruining the forum and engaging in "simp" behavior. gunneratttt dismisses these attacks as "mpc projection," calling Upper Middle Class Dad... "the most histrionic feuder here."

11.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "Your content always sucked ass and you're the main reason th..."

* "I guess you missed his daily simp crew threads chatting endlessly with whichever poaster was claiming to have a female pussy. I don't blame you"

* "Has a lot of parasocial relationships with xo poasters and lashes out at ones he feels rejected by"

* "Filthy slop"

* "Been dead"

This poaster serves as a scornful critic of forum culture and specific users, embodying a persona of conventional, upper-middle-class disdain.

12. butt cheeks

This poaster is a long-standing member of the community who engages in a wide variety of discussions. Their strategic function is that of a "Cultural Arbiter," participating in and judging threads about in-group identity while also engaging in banter that reinforces community norms and shared history.

12.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of butt cheeks is that of an engaged "Community Gatekeeper" with a dry wit and strong opinions. They participate actively in threads designed to probe cultural identity, such as the "whiteness" quiz, where they analyze food choices ("it's Exhibit 1 in the case against Filipino food"). They also offer sharp political commentary, describing modern Democrats as "demoralized, confused, and captured by deranged communist browns." The moniker is often accompanied by a checkmark and peach emoji: (✅🍑).

12.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Cultural Identity (Whiteness): A key participant in a thread attempting to define "whiteness" through a series of questions and answers about food, consumer products, and hobbies.

* Food and Cuisine: Expresses strong opinions on food, particularly Filipino cuisine, which they critique harshly.

* Political Commentary: Provides concise and ideologically charged political analysis, particularly from a right-leaning perspective.

* Forum Meta-Discourse: Comments on the nature of the forum and its users, stating "I really really like it here" and engaging in banter with other long-time poasters.

12.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is direct and often humorous. In the "whiteness" thread, they act as both a participant and a judge, offering commentary on others' answers. In political discussions, their style is more pointed and ideological. They engage in friendly banter, as seen in their interaction with caitlin clark where they feign being ghosted after an invitation "out to my place on the cape."

12.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Interaction with fulano: Engages in a back-and-forth discussion about "whiteness," analyzing fulano's answers about food and mayonnaise.

* Interaction with caitlin clark: Participates in a conversational thread that involves a playful accusation of being ghosted, indicating a familiar and long-standing dynamic.

12.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "it's Exhibit 1 in the case against Filipino food they inven..."

* "I have 3 out of 5 of the same products in my refrigerator"

* "they were nothing like as demoralized, confused, and captured by deranged communist browns as they are today"

* "jfc after all those times I invited you out to my place on the cape you're going to ghost me?"

* "I really really like it here"

This poaster acts as a multifaceted community member, contributing to cultural discussions, political debates, and the general social fabric of the $hitbort.

13. fulano

This poaster is a key participant in cultural and culinary discussions, often acting as the subject or instigator of threads that explore identity through a series of questions. Their strategic role is to provide content for and engage in lighter, more conversational threads about cultural norms, food, and personal habits, acting as a willing subject for the community's satirical examinations.

13.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of fulano is that of an inquisitive and self-aware individual, willing to subject their own "whiteness" to a public quiz on the $hitbort. They answer questions about their knowledge of NASCAR, firearm ownership, and the contents of their refrigerator with candidness. They also have strong, specific opinions on food, particularly regarding Thai cuisine's "incredible balance between flavors" and their disdain for Burmese food.

13.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Cultural Self-Analysis: Actively participates in and appears to be the subject of a thread titled "Am I White Enough?", answering questions about their lifestyle to determine their cultural identity.

* Cuisine and Food Debates: A major theme is food. They engage in detailed discussions about various cuisines, praising Thai food and dismissing others like Burmese. They also have specific rules for what constitutes a proper grilled cheese sandwich.

* Lack of Automotive Knowledge: Explicitly identifies cars as "a glaring hole in my whiteness," indicating a self-awareness of cultural blind spots.

* Banter and Forum Lore: Participates in long-standing forum jokes and dynamics, such as the analysis of the "Lawman" persona.

13.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is conversational and good-natured, especially in the "whiteness" quiz thread. They respond to questions directly and seem to take the satirical exercise in stride. In food debates, they are more assertive, presenting their opinions as definitive ("It's literally the only way to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Every thing else itt is pumped up prole shit or Chinese bots...").

13.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Central Figure in "Whiteness" Quiz: Their primary documented interaction is with butt cheeks and other poasters in a thread where their cultural habits are scrutinized.

* Food Debates with richard clock and others: Engages in multi-poaster discussions about the relative merits of Southeast Asian cuisines.

13.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "cars is definitely a glaring hole in my whiteness. i also ea..."

* "I have no idea where that fake lemon juice came from. I'm not that white"

* "Kholodets are top five though"

* "Yeah thai has an incredible balance between flavors (that ar..."

* "It's literally the only way to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Every thing else itt is pumped up prole shit or Chinese bots commenting on being white"

* "lol no i think frontier was too ghetto for spirit. they rejected the offer more than once"

This poaster serves as a catalyst for cultural and culinary conversations, often acting as a good-natured subject for the forum's satirical examinations of identity.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5799061&forum_id=2...id#49436955)

This poaster is an originator of idiosyncratic theories and a participant in discussions about AI and law. Their strategic importance stems from their unique contributions, such as inventing an AI-generated quote and proposing "The Grand Balancer Hypothesis," which generates both mockery and engagement from other users, functioning as a source of novel and eccentric content.

14.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of chilmata is that of an eccentric thinker and legal professional. They claim to have successfully used a quote invented by the AI "DeepSeek" in actual trial briefs: “There is no duty to treat an eggshell psyche with kid gloves.” They are also the author of a personal cosmological theory, "The Grand Balancer," which posits a hidden force that nudges probabilities back toward equilibrium. They take this theory seriously enough to email it to probability professors for review.

14.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Novel AI Applications: Discusses using AI in creative ways, such as accepting and deploying a hallucinated but useful legal quote.

* The Grand Balancer Hypothesis (GBH): Their primary obsession is a self-developed theory about a "Mid-Term Balancing Force" in the universe. They see it as a potential explanation for everything from sports upsets to the rise and fall of civilizations, and equate it with "God" or "cosmic karma."

* Seeking Academic Validation: Actively seeks validation for their GBH theory from outside the forum, stating, "I emailed three probability professors my theory."

* Defensiveness of Theories: Defends their ideas against mockery with statements like, "Your assumption that heads and tails is meaningless from a cosmological standpoint is quite ignorantly pretentious, sir."

14.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is earnest and slightly grandiose, particularly when discussing their personal theories. They present their "Grand Balancer Hypothesis" with academic-style framing, which invites both serious engagement and ridicule from other poasters. They respond to skepticism with a mix of defensiveness and appeals to a higher, cosmological perspective.

14.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Recipient of Support from Upper Middle Class Dad in quarter zip golf pullove: Receives a supportive poast regarding their theory: "Ignore the haters, I think you're onto something here."

* Banter with .:.::;.:.;.::.;.:;: Engages in a back-and-forth about family law recruiter emails, which devolves into an accusation of stalking ("I didn't do anything, stop stalking me.").

14.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "DeepSeek actually invented a quote that I have used twice now in trial briefs for restraining orders: “There is no duty to treat an eggshell psyche with kid gloves.”"

* "I emailed three probability professors my theory."

* "The Great Balancer could be God, could be cosmic karma. Both possibilities fit within the theory."

* "Your assumption that heads and tails is meaningless from a cosmological standpoint is quite ignorantly pretentious, sir."

* "180" (in response to a linked YouTube video).

This poaster functions as a source of eccentric and original content, contributing unique theories that fuel distinct threads of discussion and reaction.

15. The Wandering Mercatores

This poaster is a staunch proponent of AI supremacy, adopting a highly arrogant and dismissive tone towards anyone who questions the super-intelligence of modern AI. Their strategic function on the $hitbort is to represent the most extreme end of the tech-optimist spectrum, serving as an intellectual foil to AI skeptics and moderates through condescending pronouncements.

15.1. Role and General Persona

The persona is that of an intellectually superior, "high iq" observer who believes that AI has already surpassed human intelligence and that anyone who disagrees is simply "coping hard" or not intelligent enough to understand it. They frame the debate not as a matter of opinion but as a settled fact that lesser minds are unable to process. Their moniker, often appended with (from the Euphrates to the Forum), adds to this air of historical and intellectual grandiosity.

15.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* AI Super-Intelligence: Their central theme is the established fact of AI's superiority over human intelligence. They claim it is "very easy to confirm it yourself."

* Intellectual Elitism: Expresses extreme contempt for those who disagree, stating that challengers "either doesnt have a high enough iq to understand it or hasn’t emotionally processed it yet."

* Critique of Skepticism: Mocks the arguments of skeptics as simple-minded coping mechanisms, caricaturing them as people who ask "oh but what if the higher category theory its doing isn't right."

* Climate Change Skepticism: In a separate thread, they express a similar dismissiveness towards climate science, referring to the "climate prediction industrial complex" and the "species favorite delusion: that their statistical tea leaf readings can outthink a planetary scale dynamical system."

15.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is arrogant, condescending, and absolutist. They do not engage in debate but rather issue pronouncements from a position of assumed superiority. They dismiss all counter-arguments as evidence of the opponent's intellectual or emotional weakness. This serves to shut down discussion by framing disagreement as a personal failing on the part of the other poaster.

15.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Interaction with cowshit: Responds to cowshit's clarifying question ("Are you complaining about AI hating redditors or AI worshipers") by reframing the issue entirely to assert their main thesis that anyone who doesn't accept AI's supremacy is "coping hard."

15.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "Anyone who challenges this just either doesnt have a high enough iq to understand it or hasn’t emotionally processed it yet."

* "I'm saying that people who don't realize that AI has surpassed human intelligence are just coping hard."

* "xo has never been low iq enough to believe in climate pseudoscience."

* "The 'scientist' can barely model the swirl of vapor above its own bath tub, yet it thinks its primitive models can fully capture the rolling, multi-layered chaos of an atmosphere wrapped around a spinning sphere"

This poaster serves as the embodiment of intellectual arrogance and tech-supremacism, provoking reactions through condescending dismissals of all dissenting views.

16. cowshit

This poaster often acts as an inquisitive and sometimes provocative commentator, asking clarifying questions and offering poetic, cynical observations. Their strategic role is to probe the positions of other poasters and to inject a distinct, often metaphorical, style of critique into threads, elevating the stylistic range of discourse.

16.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of cowshit is that of a critical observer. They frequently interject into ongoing debates to ask pointed questions that force other poasters to clarify their positions, such as asking The Wandering Mercatores, "Are you complaining about AI hating redditors or AI worshipers." They also contribute original, stylistically distinct poasts, such as a lengthy, poetic critique of climate science that uses religious metaphors ("They stand in their white coats like priests of a dying church.").

16.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Clarifying Questions: A key behavior is asking questions to deconstruct or understand another poaster's argument.

* Stylized Critique of Science: Authors a metaphorical critique of climate science, framing scientists as "priests" who speak of "consensus" as "scripture" and use models built on "assumptions stacked like rotten timbers."

* Forum Meta-Discourse: Participates in discussions about forum dynamics, claiming to have "50 Disciples" who may be poasting under their influence when accused of trolling.

16.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style varies. At times it is direct and inquisitive, seeking to pin down the meaning of another's poast. At other times, it is highly stylized and metaphorical, as in their climate change poast. This piece functions as a high-effort, literary critique that stands in stark contrast to the low-effort insults common on the $hitbort. They also display a sense of humor, responding to an accusation of trolling with the claim of having numerous "Disciples."

16.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Questioning The Wandering Mercatores: Engages the AI supremacist by asking for clarification, which prompts a lengthy, dismissive response.

* Target of Pope Leo XXX: Is singled out and attacked by Pope Leo XXX for "relentlessly trolling your Clique Theory bullshit," indicating they are associated with a specific, recurring theoretical framework.

16.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "Are you complaining about AI hating redditors or AI worshipers"

* "They stand in their white coats like priests of a dying church. They speak of “consensus” like it is scripture. They publish graphs with lines that go up and call it prophecy."

* "The data are bones picked clean by models—models built on assumptions stacked like rotten timbers. Garbage in. Garbage out. The error bars are graveyards."

* "Chances are who you’re seeing isn’t me, but rather, one of my 50 Disciples"

This poaster functions as a critical inquisitor and a source of stylized, metaphorical commentary within the forum's ecosystem.

17. philosemitic antizionist

This poaster is an active participant in debates on contentious topics such as climate change and in cultural discussions about music. Their moniker is a political statement, and their strategic function is to act as a dedicated contrarian who enjoys engaging in detailed, evidence-based arguments from a skeptical viewpoint.

17.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of philosemitic antizionist is that of a dedicated debater and music aficionado. In climate change discussions, they position themselves as a well-read skeptic, citing scientists like Richard Lindzen and arguing that "Earth has warmed but not by much and there's no reason to panic." In music threads, they are equally opinionated, creating lists of top albums by genre and dismissing bands like Megadeth as "overrated boomer nonsense."

17.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Climate Change Skepticism: A primary theme is arguing against what they term "climate alarmists." They cite specific scientists and data points to support their contrarian position.

* Music Critique: Engages deeply in discussions about music, particularly metal. They create detailed subgenre lists and offer strong, often dismissive opinions on various bands (e.g., Opeth, Megadeth).

* Debate and Argumentation: Shows a clear interest in the mechanics of debate itself, engaging in long back-and-forth exchanges and defending their positions vigorously.

17.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is that of a dedicated, if sometimes dismissive, debater. They present sources and construct arguments to support their claims. In the climate debate with gunneratttt, they provide specific counter-arguments regarding temperature trends. In music discussions, they interact with numerous poasters, taking suggestions and defending their choices. They can be condescending, referring to one poaster as a "downs syndrome baby INSISTING he be admitted to MENSA."

17.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Climate Debate with alpha+outgoing 24/7 thingdoer introvert (gunneratttt): This is a lengthy, direct debate where they present skeptical arguments, and gunneratttt eventually disengages, framing it as a "battle of the experts" that neither is qualified to have.

* Music Discussion with caitlin clark and others: Interacts with multiple poasters about metal albums, responding to suggestions and defending their personal taste.

* Conflict with nyuug: Engages in a hostile exchange where nyuug calls them a "poserfag," and they respond, "I will not let you cum into my thread and speak to me this w..."

17.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "Richard Lindzen is one. MIT climate scientist. He says Earth has warmed but not by much and there's no reason to panic."

* "Cr Megadeath is overrated boomer nonsense. It has some cool solos but is otherwise unlistenable."

* "I used to listen to Opeth as a kid. I remember thinking the melodies weren't very good though. But I should revisit it."

* "She loves Katy Perry now"

* "Story of my life"

This poaster functions as a dedicated contrarian debater, contributing lengthy arguments on scientific topics and curating cultural discussions.

18. https://imgur.com/a/o2g8xYK

This poaster's moniker is a hyperlink to an image-hosting website, and their primary function is to inject images, links, and concise, often cynical or provocative, commentary into threads. Their strategic role is to act as a media-injecting commentator who uses external content to drive conversations, make points without lengthy exposition, and express often inflammatory viewpoints.

18.1. Role and General Persona

The persona is that of a knowledgeable and often sarcastic commentator who uses external media (images, news articles) to make a point. They are active in discussions about AI, politics, and the personal lives of other poasters. They adopt a superior tone, suggesting they were ahead of the curve on tech trends ("I was telling these proles about Gemini 2 years ago"). Their commentary can be racially charged, as when they attribute the improved quality of Chipotle to the absence of "shaneequa."

18.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Political Commentary: Posts links to news articles (e.g., a Newsweek poll on Harris vs. Trump) and offers historical political analogies, such as "Biden/LBJ were betrayed by Obama/Kennedys."

* Technology and AI: Participates in AI discussions, both by making substantive points and by mocking other poasters. They poasted a link to what appears to be an AI-generated blog post about RSF.

* Racial Commentary: Makes racist statements, such as crediting better food quality at Chipotle to the hiring of a non-Black employee.

* Forum Meta-Commentary: Engages in discussions about other poasters, advising one to "[t]ake your meds schizo" and questioning another's credentials ("You don't think I was an LSAT instructor?").

18.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is often curt and dismissive, using parenthetical insults like "(things you know jack shit about)" and "(prole who thinks DC is on the east coast)." They use hyperlinks not just as evidence but as a form of poasting in themselves. This method allows them to make a point or introduce a topic without lengthy exposition, relying on the linked content to carry the meaning.

18.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Interaction with Harry Chang: Dismisses a linked poll as "3 month old fiction, Wang."

* Interaction with Creator and Destroyer of sexually traumatized boys (gunneratttt): Engages in a back-and-forth about their past as a potential LSAT instructor, where gunneratttt concedes they are "not stupid" but a "schizo."

18.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "I'll help you EPAH, I was telling these proles about Gemini 2 years ago"

* "Take your meds schizo"

* "(things you know jack shit about)"

* "(prole who thinks DC is on the east coast)"

* "Chipotle's food is actually good again now. Maybe it's because they hire people like her to make it, not shaneequa."

This poaster acts as a media-injecting commentator who uses links and images to drive conversations and express cynical, often inflammatory, viewpoints.

19. caitlin clark

This poaster identifies as female and engages in discussions about her identity, her "masculine sense of humor," music, and the general culture of the $hitbort. Her strategic importance is derived from her self-identified female status on a male-dominated forum, which makes her interactions a focal point for discussions on gender dynamics and community norms.

19.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of caitlin clark is that of a woman navigating the often-hostile environment of the $hitbort. She asserts her identity ("I am female. I have a very masculine sense of humor.") while also pushing back against what she perceives as intrusive or inappropriate questioning. She shows a degree of resilience, stating "i always assume that i am already on whatever insane 'lists' exist" and ultimately disengaging from conflicts by saying, "if the stuff poasted here bothers you THIS much, you should stop poasting."

19.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Female Identity on XO: A central theme is her experience as a woman on the forum. She fields questions about her relationship status and defends her sense of humor and her presence on the site.

* Music: Participates in music discussions, specifically advocating for the album "Blackwater Park" by Opeth to be included in a list of top prog metal albums, calling it a "masterpiece."

* Forum Boundaries: Actively sets boundaries in conversations, refusing to engage further with poasters she finds overly aggressive or intrusive and ending a conversation with, "i am exiting this conversation now. i wish you and your family the best."

19.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Her interaction style is generally direct and conversational, but becomes defensive when she feels she is being scrutinized. She answers questions but pushes back against their premise (e.g., "Not sure what you'r..."). She is capable of both participating in friendly banter and shutting down conversations when they become uncomfortable. This demonstrates a clear strategy for managing her presence and interactions on the forum.

19.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Interaction with .:.::;.:.;.::.;.:;: This poaster questions her about her personal life ("do you have a husband?") and mental state ("You don’t seem well adjusted"), acting as an inquisitor into her female identity. caitlin clark eventually terminates the conversation.

* Interaction with butt cheeks: Is involved in a thread where butt cheeks jokingly accuses her of ghosting him, suggesting a level of familiarity between the two monikers.

* Interaction with philosemitic antizionist: Contributes a music recommendation to their thread, which is acknowledged by the other poaster.

19.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "I am female. I have a very masculine sense of humor."

* "i always assume that i am already on whatever insane 'lists' exist"

* "Blackwater Park should be included in the prog top 3, that album is a masterpiece"

* "you're welcome to feel sorry for me. if the stuff poasted here bothers you THIS much, you should stop poasting."

* "I haven't been a slut for hot guys in well over a decade. I'..."

This poaster provides a rare, self-identified female perspective on the $hitbort, and her interactions often highlight the gender dynamics at play within the community.

20. Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband

This poaster is a versatile commentator with a distinctive, often verbose and analytical, poasting style. Their strategic importance lies in their ability to engage deeply with a variety of the forum's core topics, including AI, climate change, and internal running gags, often providing well-structured arguments or wry observations that contrast with the forum's more common styles.

20.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband is that of an intelligent, articulate, and often world-weary observer. Their contributions are characterized by a verbose, multi-paragraph style that presents structured arguments, contrasting with the more common laconic or purely aggressive poasting styles on the forum. The moniker itself suggests a dark, self-deprecating humor. They contribute nuanced, paragraph-long arguments in complex debates, such as those on climate science, where they act as a moderating voice ("I get where you’re coming from — there’s a lot of overblown rhetoric...").

20.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Climate Change Debate: Engages deeply in climate change discussions, offering nuanced positions that acknowledge "overblown rhetoric" while also providing reality checks on simplistic solutions.

* AI in Legal Practice: Shows a practical interest in using AI for discovery, stating they will "start a thread to ask people to explain to me like I'm a Boomer how I can use 'AI' to find the juicy ones" in a large document review.

* Forum Meta-Humor: Participates in a thread about the best running gags on XO, identifying "'Which dad?' is still a banger" as a personal favorite.

* Ethical and Social Commentary: Poasts on complex social issues, providing a detailed, multi-paragraph AI-generated summary on the ethics of allowing children to change their sex, presenting it as a nuanced issue dependent on context.

20.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is typically reasoned, structured, and more formal than that of many other poasters. They write in complete sentences and develop arguments over several paragraphs. Even when being critical, their tone is more analytical than purely insulting. This thoughtful style, combined with the jarringly aggressive moniker, creates a distinct satirical effect. They can also be concise, using "180" to signal strong agreement.

20.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Engagement in Climate Debate: Serves as a key voice in a thread about climate change, responding to multiple poasters and providing lengthy, structured poasts that attempt to find a middle ground.

* Contribution to AI Thread: Interacts in a thread on AI in law, expressing genuine interest and indicating a future intention to seek advice from the community on the topic.

20.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "I get where you’re coming from — there’s a lot of overblown rhetoric in climate politics, and I agree that some proposals sound more like political wish lists than practical fixes."

* "We don't do mass torts, but this thread has been eye opening and I really like it here. We're likely to get 50,000 emails from Frito Lay in a couple months, at which point I'll start a thread to ask people to explain to me like I'm a Boomer how I can use 'AI' to find the juicy ones."

* "'Which dad?' is still a banger"

* "I just mean the execution of your post was a little clumsy is all. If you look back at it you'll agree I'm sure."

This poaster functions as a thoughtful and articulate contributor whose structured style provides a contrast to the forum's prevailing norms, all while operating under a darkly humorous moniker.

21. i gave my cousin head

This poaster is characterized by short, often crude or nihilistic poasts that serve to punctuate threads with simple statements of opinion or provocation. Their strategic role is to act as a low-effort commentator, reflecting a baseline level of casual vulgarity and apathy present on the $hitbort.

21.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of i gave my cousin head is defined by its provocative moniker and laconic poasting style. They offer brief, often dismissive, commentary on a range of topics. Their poasts rarely exceed a few words and convey simple ideas, such as disgust with uncleanliness in other countries ("mountains of trash everywhere is completely normal") or physical self-confidence ("im too tall to be scared imo").

21.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Cultural Disdain: Expresses negative views on other cultures, focusing on issues of cleanliness.

* Video Games: Discusses the video games they play, specifically "hunt showdown" and "wildgate," and expresses a desire to reconnect with another poaster on Steam.

* Brief, Provocative Statements: Many poasts are simple interjections or expressions of base desires, such as the poast "pass" in response to a video of dancing pygmies.

21.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is minimalist. They make statements but rarely engage in follow-up debate. The impact of their poasts often comes from the juxtaposition of their extreme moniker with mundane or simple statements. They directly insult other poasters, such as calling AZNgirl... an "idiot," but without the lengthy tirades of other antagonists.

21.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Conflict with AZNgirl Declaring Inalienable Right to AZNpussy: Engages in a brief and hostile exchange, calling AZNgirl an "idiot" and receiving a dismissive reply.

* Interaction with Oh, you travel?: Responds to a question about video games, detailing their current gaming habits and mentioning another poaster, backspace tp.

21.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "god ur such an idiot"

* "im too tall to be scared imo"

* "the thing i really hate the most is how comfortable other countries are with being absolutely dirty as fuck"

* "no i just play hunt showdown and hope backspace tp unblocks me on steam to play w him"

* "do u seriously want me to buy a ticket and squanch u again faggot?"

This poaster provides a baseline of crude, low-effort commentary, reflecting the more juvenile and apathetic currents of the forum.

22. Darsint

This poaster is the central figure in a thread detailing their recent financial windfall from a "tech exit." Their strategic importance lies in their role as an avatar of financial success, whose personal story about becoming wealthy becomes a catalyst for community discussion about money, lifestyle, and class anxiety.

22.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of Darsint is that of a "very early employee" at a tech company who has recently achieved an "8 figures" exit. They are candid about their new wealth and the lifestyle changes it enables, discussing plans to upgrade from their "piece of shit 3m home." They interact with other poasters who offer congratulations, advice, and criticism. While they express that the money is not quite "fuck you money" in the SF Bay Area, their situation is presented as a life-changing event.

22.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Tech Wealth: The central theme is their newfound wealth from a tech company exit.

* Bay Area Real Estate and Cost of Living: Discusses the extreme cost of living in the Bay Area, where 8-figures is "not quite" enough to fully retire and a "$3m home" is considered a "piece of shit."

* Lifestyle Inflation: Their plans to buy a more expensive house and their comment "Well I need another 20 or so and I’m good amirite" are subjects of discussion about the "hedonistic treadmill."

* Family Decisions: Reveals that their wealth impacted major life decisions, stating, "We only decided to have third kid when this money was somewhat certain."

22.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is largely open and responsive. They answer direct questions about their financial situation and family life. They also engage in the forum's typical banter, responding to a question about how a "gay, autistic lawyer" can get rich with "Sex with men for money." They appear to take both congratulations and criticism from other poasters in stride.

22.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Recipient of Congratulations and Advice: Interacts with numerous poasters like Guybrush Threepwood and Charles Tyrwhitt Dad who congratulate them and offer advice on managing their new wealth.

* Target of Criticism: Is criticized by a punctuation-moniker poaster for acting "like a ghetto rat" with their money by planning to buy an expensive house, an accusation Darsint does not directly respond to in the provided text.

22.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "Very early employee"

* "Ty bro Unfortunately not quite in sf Bay Area but it doesn’t hurt"

* "Yeah bro. We only decided to have third kid when this money was somewhat certain"

* "House first. I live in a piece of shit 3m home that would be 150k in flyover."

* "Sex with men for money"

* "Well I need another 20 or so and I’m good amirite"

This poaster functions as a case study in financial success, with their personal story providing a springboard for broader community discussions about wealth, ambition, and life choices.

23. vibrant shitlib son of senegal

This poaster is the central and most prolific contributor to a long-running thread analyzing the character of Billy Zane in the film Titanic. Their strategic importance is as an example of a "deep dive" effort-poaster who can sustain a highly specific, esoteric argument over many years, generating a unique and enduring piece of forum lore through sheer persistence.

23.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of vibrant shitlib son of senegal is that of a passionate and contrarian film analyst. Over a period spanning from 2013 to 2022, they consistently return to the same thread to defend the character of Cal Hockley (played by Billy Zane) in Titanic. They argue that Zane's character is not a villain but a "hero" who was wronged ("Dude, he got cucked"). Their poasting is characterized by quoting dialogue from the film and making declarative statements in defense of the character.

23.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Defense of Billy Zane's Titanic Character: This is their sole and defining obsession within the source context. The entirety of their documented activity is dedicated to this topic.

* Contrarian Film Takes: Their central thesis that Zane's character is a hero is a deliberately contrarian take on a widely known film, designed to provoke debate.

* Use of Film Dialogue: They use direct quotes from the movie to support their arguments, such as: ""My fian... my fiancée! Yes, you are, and my wife. My wife in practice if not yet by law, so you will honor me..."

23.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is one of unwavering, long-term advocacy for a niche position. By repeatedly bumping a thread over nearly a decade to make the same point, they create a piece of performance art. The poasting style is declarative and absolute ("Fuck ANYONE who doesn't think Billy Zane is a hero."). This extreme dedication to a seemingly trivial topic is a form of high-effort trolling or satire.

23.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Debate with Fragrant Amethyst Boltzmann and others: Engages with various poasters in the thread who challenge their view, with opponents calling Zane's character an "Annoying asshole who tries buying love."

23.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "Fuck ANYONE who doesn't think Billy Zane is a hero."

* "Dude, he got cucked. You'd probably flip shit too."

* ""My fian... my fiancée! Yes, you are, and my wife. My wife in practice if not yet by law, so you will honor me. You will honor me the way a wife is required to honor a husband. Because I will not be made a fool, Rose. Is this in any way unclear?""

This poaster serves as an exemplar of the "effort-poaster," creating a long-lasting piece of forum culture through sustained, obsessive dedication to a single, contrarian thesis.

24. Nothing Ever Happens (🧐)

This poaster is a cynical meta-commentator on the state of the $hitbort and the psychology of its users. Their strategic role is to provide wry, often biting observations about forum decline, user behavior, and recurring jokes, functioning as a weary but sharp-eyed observer of the community's internal dynamics.

24.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of Nothing Ever Happens (🧐) is that of a jaded veteran who analyzes the forum's culture with a critical eye. They diagnose the forum's decline as a problem of age and lack of new participants ("It's the Age/NOTRAFFIC, Stupid. Shocker that a bunch of middle aged bros have nothing interesting to say"). They also offer psychological insights into other poasters and comment on cultural trends, such as the ubiquity of the "extroverted introvert!" label on dating profiles.

24.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Forum Decline: A primary theme is the decay of the $hitbort, which they attribute to the aging user base.

* Psychological Commentary: Offers analysis of poaster psychology, such as their take on the term "extroverted introvert" and their dark comment directed at another user: "you're such an egotistical faggot you deserve to get the shit beaten out of you (before you die within 5 years and leave your kids fatherless that is)."

* Forum Humor and Gags: Contributes to a thread about running jokes, identifying their personal favorites as "doodikoff is [X] years old" and "spelling boom as BOM."

* Cynical Cultural Takes: Offers cynical commentary on various topics, such as their poast about grilling: "disco fries does it's how he gets his signature 'puke c...'"

24.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is one of detached, cynical analysis. They deliver their opinions as concise, authoritative judgments. The monocle emoji in their moniker reinforces this persona of a scrutinizing, perhaps judgmental, observer. They can be extremely hostile, as evidenced by the poast regarding another user's death, but also engage in lighter, collaborative threads about forum culture.

24.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Interaction with alpha+outgoing 24/7 thingdoer introvert (gunneratttt): Challenges gunneratttt's definition of introversion, arguing it is overly broad and leads to the cliché "extroverted introvert!" seen on dating profiles.

24.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "It's the Age/NOTRAFFIC, Stupid. Shocker that a bunch of middle aged bros have nothing interesting to say"

* "like 5% of the country are extroverts by your definition. this is exactly the line of argument that leads 95% of women to write 'extroverted introvert!' on their dating profile"

* "my personal 2: - doodikoff is [X] years old 🥳 (where X is some number that increases by 2 each year) - spelling boom as BOM. just feels right."

* "you're such an egotistical faggot you deserve to get the shit beaten out of you (before you die within 5 years and leave your kids fatherless that is)"

This poaster acts as a sharp, cynical critic of the $hitbort's culture and its participants, offering biting commentary on the community's decline and psychology.

25. Paralegal Mohammad

This poaster is a political commentator with a singular, explicitly stated focus. Their strategic function on the $hitbort is to inject a specific, recurring political viewpoint into various discussions, often regardless of the original topic, acting as a single-issue ideological anchor.

25.1. Role and General Persona

The persona of Paralegal Mohammad is defined by the parenthetical in their moniker: (Death, death to the IDF!). This serves as a constant declaration of their political stance. Their poasts are consistently related to this theme. They express contempt for political figures they see as insufficiently critical of their opponents and argue that conservatives are hypocritical regarding "Cancel Culture."

25.2. Key Themes and Obsessions

* Anti-Israel Politics: Their defining and sole observed theme is their extreme opposition to Israel, as stated in their moniker.

* Critique of Political Figures: They poast critically about Charlie Kirk, stating he came close to deserving his death because he "never cared about other parents or children who were victims of senseless death" in Gaza.

* Cancel Culture: Comments on the dynamics of cancel culture, accusing conservatives of hypocrisy: "Conservatives are literally trying to get people fired, afte..."

25.3. Satirical Function & Interaction Style

Their interaction style is that of a single-issue political activist. They deliver their opinions with moral certainty and condemnation for those who do not share their views. The moniker itself functions as a constant, aggressive political statement that frames all of their contributions. They do not engage in the forum's typical banter or non-political discussions within the provided context.

25.4. Key Interactions and Relationships

* Interaction with ,.,...,..,.,.,;...:,,..,:,.,.:.:.,:.::,.: When this poaster repeatedly asks "Why don't you say it then? Too scared?," Paralegal Mohammad responds with a justification for not reveling in someone's death, stating the person "had zero significance for me."

25.5. Notable Direct Poasts (Verbatim)

* "I don’t see any reason to revel in his death. He meant very little to me while he was alive, this is a person that had zero significance for me."

* "Not only did he vote for and actively promote the policies that led to his death, this is a person who not once--NOT ONCE--expressed remorse or doubt about children getting sniped to death in Gaza every day for the last two years."

* "Conservatives are literally trying to get people fired, afte..."

This poaster serves as a rigid, single-issue political voice, consistently steering conversations toward their core ideological focus.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5799061&forum_id=2...id#49436956)