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THE BETAMORPHOSIS.

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&foru...
Sickened ratface
  01/30/12
...
Sickened ratface
  02/11/12
...
Swashbuckling ticket booth marketing idea
  02/11/12
...
Sickened ratface
  02/14/12
dude, give TBF credit when it's due and link to the original...
Boyish know-it-all rigor
  02/14/12
...
Sickened ratface
  03/02/12
...
Sickened ratface
  03/08/12
...
Sickened ratface
  07/18/12
A Chung Tale
Self-absorbed hairraiser indian lodge
  07/18/12
...
Sickened ratface
  07/19/12
...
Sickened ratface
  07/28/12
you love dem tbf posts huh
Razzmatazz Box Office
  07/28/12
lol, just lol.
Turquoise private investor hissy fit
  07/28/12
WE NEEDC TO KILL ALL NIGGERS
Alcoholic Lay
  07/28/12
...
Sickened ratface
  08/09/12
...
Adventurous fishy community account
  08/09/12
credited
Boyish know-it-all rigor
  08/09/12
...
mischievous stirring library kitty
  12/03/14
...
Balding shrine idea he suggested
  12/30/15
Legendary
mischievous stirring library kitty
  08/09/12
At least provide the link to the original
Boyish know-it-all rigor
  08/09/12
done
Sickened ratface
  08/17/12
...
Sickened ratface
  08/23/12
I was actually thinking about this yesterday
Magenta laughsome regret plaza
  08/23/12
...
Sickened ratface
  09/13/12
...
Sickened ratface
  10/30/12
...
Boyish know-it-all rigor
  10/30/12
...
Sickened ratface
  12/15/12
2013 bump
Sickened ratface
  01/07/13
...
Sickened ratface
  01/22/13
...
beady-eyed hospital
  06/13/13
...
Turquoise private investor hissy fit
  06/13/13
TBF's glory
mischievous stirring library kitty
  10/11/13
...
Sickened ratface
  12/18/14
...
Mind-boggling duck-like forum hunting ground
  07/28/16
...
Sickened ratface
  07/27/17
...
Flickering floppy gaping
  08/13/17
...
Chocolate orchestra pit
  08/13/17
...
Balding shrine idea he suggested
  08/13/17
...
Balding shrine idea he suggested
  10/25/17
now i remember. yeah, it used to be that good here.
umber charismatic boistinker
  10/25/17
turns out calling asians bugs was a proud, long, rich tradit...
umber charismatic boistinker
  10/25/17
...
Balding shrine idea he suggested
  10/27/17
...
Balding shrine idea he suggested
  11/26/17
Claire was a scholar
Lascivious rehab
  11/26/17
...
Razzle kitchen
  01/23/18
...
mischievous stirring library kitty
  09/11/19
...
mischievous stirring library kitty
  01/28/25
...
Lascivious rehab
  05/20/25
...
Balding shrine idea he suggested
  01/23/18
...
bisexual alcoholic public bath
  01/23/18
...
Balding shrine idea he suggested
  06/16/18
...
mischievous stirring library kitty
  10/07/18
...
Balding shrine idea he suggested
  10/19/18
...
Charcoal Haunted Graveyard
  10/21/18
...
aphrodisiac coral multi-billionaire
  11/24/18
...
Balding shrine idea he suggested
  04/28/19
...
peach vivacious mad-dog skullcap
  09/13/20
...
pungent exciting stage stock car
  11/06/20
...
peach vivacious mad-dog skullcap
  11/06/20
...
peach vivacious mad-dog skullcap
  11/29/20
...
peach vivacious mad-dog skullcap
  12/16/20
...
Balding shrine idea he suggested
  03/02/21
...
peach vivacious mad-dog skullcap
  10/14/21
...
Garnet Well-lubricated Set Death Wish
  07/13/23
...
Charcoal Haunted Graveyard
  07/13/23
more proof that tbf is an asian male
high-end athletic conference
  07/13/23
...
mischievous stirring library kitty
  07/13/23
...
Garnet Well-lubricated Set Death Wish
  10/05/24
...
Thriller clown
  10/05/24
...
Garnet Well-lubricated Set Death Wish
  01/28/25
...
Cerebral Hyperactive House Incel
  05/05/25
...
Cerebral Hyperactive House Incel
  05/20/25
...
Darth Cheney
  11/03/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: January 30th, 2012 4:50 PM
Author: Sickened ratface

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:43 PM

Author: To be fair (Semi-Retired)

To be fair,

PART I:

One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been transformed into an Asian man. He lay on his dingy unwashed Hello Kitty sheets and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his tiny, emaciated yellow figure stretched out before him. His frail hairless legs, pitifully thin even compared to the rest of his boyish body, splayed out comically before his tiny nearsighted sliteyes like a splintered bamboo chopstick.

"What's happened to me," he thought. It was no dream. His room lay quietly between the four well-known walls. And above the table, on which a wide assortment of empty Smirnoff bottles had stood just the night before - when Samsa was still a successful ibanker - hung the picture of a familiar woman. It was a gorgeous Russian girl with a fur hat and a fur boa. She sat erect there, lifting up in the direction of the viewer a solid fur muff into which her entire forearm had disappeared, just as he had often disappeared into her muff after a night of heavy boozing. Yet this picture of Svetlana was not his; for this had been poorly cut out of an old Sports Illustrated issue, and was perilously attached to the greasy wall with a potent mix of dried semen, duct tape and profound desperation. And in the place of his hard earned bottle battalion there now stood an curious assortment of thick, strange tomes bearing odd titles - "Criminal Procedure", "Administrative Law", "Secured Transactions" and "TROL Spring 2009" - alongside three gently humming computers, all myseriously logged on to the same website. He immediately knew that he would never have the beautiful woman in the picture again.

"Oh God," he thought. At that moment he felt a slight itching beneath the shaggy black carpet that coated his oily scalp. He slowly pushed himself on his back closer to the bed post so that he could lift his unsightly bulbous head up on his narrow pencil neck more easily, and found the itchy part, which rained down small white flakes as he scratched it; he did not know what to make of them.

He looked over at the alarm clock ticking away by the chest of drawers. "Good God!" he thought. It was half past six, and the hands were going quietly on. It was even past the half hour, already nearly quarter to. What should he do? Did he dare to face the world like this?

As he was thinking all this over in the greatest haste, without being able to make the decision to get out of bed, there was a cautious knock on the basement door by the head of the bed. "Teddy Chu-yu Huang," a sing-song voice called out, "Zao on, lice and shine now boy! You lazy boy!" Was it his mother...was he living at home again with his parents? Gregor was startled when he heard his voice answering. It was clearly and unmistakably his voice, but it was now markedly higher in pitch, marred by a grating Chinese accent which left the words grotesquely distorted so that one did not know if one had heard correctly. Gregor wanted to answer in detail and explain everything, but in these circumstances he confined himself to saying, "Xiexie mama. I get up, woi ai ni." Apparently satisfied, his mother shuffled off slowly on her tiny, exquisitely bound feet.

As a result of that short conversation, however, his father also became aware that his son was still at home, and already he was knocking on one side door, weakly but with his fist. "Te-ddy...Te-ddy!," he called out, "Ni shenti hao ma?" And, after a short while, he called out again in a whinier voice - "CHU-YU!" Gregor directed an answer as best he could: "I go baba, xiexie." He made an effort with the most careful articulation and inserted long pauses between the individual words. His father turned back to his breakfast. Gregor had no intention of opening the door, but rather congratulated himself on his precaution, acquired from years of sleeping around in his former life, of locking all doors during the night.

***

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#19865895)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2012 1:08 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#19942908)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2012 1:33 PM
Author: Swashbuckling ticket booth marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#19942985)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 14th, 2012 4:19 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#19963598)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 14th, 2012 4:20 PM
Author: Boyish know-it-all rigor

dude, give TBF credit when it's due and link to the original

but a top 5 post of all time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#19963602)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2012 5:01 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#20107232)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 8th, 2012 1:03 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#20156701)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2012 3:18 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21116212)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2012 3:22 PM
Author: Self-absorbed hairraiser indian lodge

A Chung Tale

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21116242)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2012 2:27 AM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21121465)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 9:58 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21201599)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 9:58 PM
Author: Razzmatazz Box Office

you love dem tbf posts huh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21201601)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 9:59 PM
Author: Turquoise private investor hissy fit

lol, just lol.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21201608)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2012 10:00 PM
Author: Alcoholic Lay

WE NEEDC TO KILL ALL NIGGERS

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21201612)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:23 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21296217)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:24 PM
Author: Adventurous fishy community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21296225)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:25 PM
Author: Boyish know-it-all rigor

credited

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21296229)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2014 8:06 PM
Author: mischievous stirring library kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#26851409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:26 AM
Author: Balding shrine idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#29481999)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:26 PM
Author: mischievous stirring library kitty

Legendary

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21296241)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 9th, 2012 12:26 PM
Author: Boyish know-it-all rigor

At least provide the link to the original

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21296249)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 17th, 2012 2:30 PM
Author: Sickened ratface

done

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21360821)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 23rd, 2012 1:50 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21403977)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 23rd, 2012 2:01 PM
Author: Magenta laughsome regret plaza

I was actually thinking about this yesterday

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21404036)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2012 5:12 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21571558)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 30th, 2012 3:21 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21924655)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 30th, 2012 4:02 PM
Author: Boyish know-it-all rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#21925080)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2012 4:03 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#22256092)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 7th, 2013 2:31 PM
Author: Sickened ratface

2013 bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#22385066)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2013 5:27 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#22483481)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2013 2:43 PM
Author: beady-eyed hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#23388085)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2013 3:23 PM
Author: Turquoise private investor hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#23388309)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 11th, 2013 8:14 PM
Author: mischievous stirring library kitty

TBF's glory

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#24215654)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 18th, 2014 4:27 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#26957385)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2016 6:11 PM
Author: Mind-boggling duck-like forum hunting ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#31053610)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 27th, 2017 2:19 PM
Author: Sickened ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#33867558)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2017 3:28 AM
Author: Flickering floppy gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#33976384)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2017 3:33 AM
Author: Chocolate orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#33976395)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2017 4:13 AM
Author: Balding shrine idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#33976464)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2017 2:59 AM
Author: Balding shrine idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#34523544)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2017 3:10 AM
Author: umber charismatic boistinker

now i remember. yeah, it used to be that good here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#34523558)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2017 3:11 AM
Author: umber charismatic boistinker

turns out calling asians bugs was a proud, long, rich tradition on xo going back a long ways. that gives me tickles.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#34523559)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2017 1:39 PM
Author: Balding shrine idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#34542580)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 26th, 2017 12:14 AM
Author: Balding shrine idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#34772753)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 26th, 2017 1:00 AM
Author: Lascivious rehab

Claire was a scholar

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#34772952)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2018 10:06 AM
Author: Razzle kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#35216572)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2019 10:26 AM
Author: mischievous stirring library kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#38817589)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2025 6:09 AM
Author: mischievous stirring library kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#48597167)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2025 9:37 AM
Author: Lascivious rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#48946725)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2018 10:05 AM
Author: Balding shrine idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#35216559)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2018 10:11 AM
Author: bisexual alcoholic public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#35216597)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 16th, 2018 9:42 AM
Author: Balding shrine idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#36255593)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 7th, 2018 1:23 PM
Author: mischievous stirring library kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#36979191)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 8:39 AM
Author: Balding shrine idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#37055152)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 21st, 2018 6:31 PM
Author: Charcoal Haunted Graveyard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#37068231)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 24th, 2018 5:53 AM
Author: aphrodisiac coral multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#37291125)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 28th, 2019 7:58 PM
Author: Balding shrine idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#38156666)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2020 2:09 AM
Author: peach vivacious mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#40911749)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 6th, 2020 12:21 AM
Author: pungent exciting stage stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#41295001)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 6th, 2020 12:46 AM
Author: peach vivacious mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#41295234)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 29th, 2020 10:31 PM
Author: peach vivacious mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#41458867)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2020 1:31 AM
Author: peach vivacious mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#41557739)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2021 1:13 AM
Author: Balding shrine idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#42032903)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2021 10:38 PM
Author: peach vivacious mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#43273915)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2023 1:37 AM
Author: Garnet Well-lubricated Set Death Wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#46542023)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2023 1:39 AM
Author: Charcoal Haunted Graveyard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#46542036)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2023 1:41 AM
Author: high-end athletic conference

more proof that tbf is an asian male

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#46542043)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2023 7:10 AM
Author: mischievous stirring library kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#46542250)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 5th, 2024 7:15 AM
Author: Garnet Well-lubricated Set Death Wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#48165642)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 5th, 2024 7:29 AM
Author: Thriller clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#48165660)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2025 2:29 AM
Author: Garnet Well-lubricated Set Death Wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#48597068)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 5th, 2025 9:32 AM
Author: Cerebral Hyperactive House Incel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#48904722)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2025 7:01 AM
Author: Cerebral Hyperactive House Incel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#48946559)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 3rd, 2025 9:36 AM
Author: Darth Cheney (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1861557&forum_id=2...id#49397322)