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I smear the toilet seat with my semen at house parties.
| arousing university community account | 08/02/13 |
| Wild Candlestick Maker | 08/03/13 |
| Navy stage french chef | 08/02/13 |
| canary mental disorder digit ratio | 08/02/13 |
| arousing university community account | 08/02/13 |
| canary mental disorder digit ratio | 08/02/13 |
| razzle-dazzle carnelian knife | 08/02/13 |
| unholy house-broken location filthpig | 08/02/13 |
| nofapping hell sweet tailpipe | 08/02/13 |
| arousing university community account | 08/02/13 |
| nofapping hell sweet tailpipe | 08/02/13 |
| arousing university community account | 08/02/13 |
| nofapping hell sweet tailpipe | 08/02/13 |
| arousing university community account | 08/02/13 |
| Insecure Odious Senate Hominid | 08/02/13 |
| cracking factory reset button | 08/02/13 |
| Stirring reading party orchestra pit | 08/02/13 |
| Ocher sexy house rigor | 08/02/13 |
| arousing university community account | 08/03/13 |
| Salmon cruel-hearted abode degenerate | 08/02/13 |
| arousing university community account | 08/02/13 |
| Electric mexican nursing home | 08/02/13 |
| Navy stage french chef | 08/02/13 |
| Nudist Charcoal Trump Supporter Set | 08/03/13 |
| Soul-stirring seedy antidepressant drug volcanic crater | 08/04/13 |
| 180 dead associate dingle berry | 05/15/18 |
| Lascivious Flickering Coldplay Fan | 07/06/26 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:28 AM Author: arousing university community account I hate these whores who get drunk at parties and leave with alphas they just met. They won't even look at me, me with my prestigious Juris Doctor degree, me with my stable income, me with my expensive suits, me a bona fide member of the bar, me a legend in the County Court lunchroom. No, these sluts chase firefighters and flight lieutenants, actors and athletes, cool chill bros with smooth faces and square jawlines.
But I have the toilet.
Yeah, while you're out there shaking your tits for the hunk parade, I'm parked here jerking off to the thought of you fucked. I go for slow, leisurely strokes, detailed, almost literary, scenarios. You knock. "I need to pee!" My fist goes spastic, responding. It only takes a minute or two. I'm efficient.
Door opens. Surprise, you're drunk. Don't even bother waiting for me to finish washing my hands. You just plop on the toilet, jeans down, legs splayed. I dry my hands, ever the gentleman, not even risking a sidelong glance. "Hey, why's the seat all--"
Door closes.
It only takes one. One little sperm to make its journey up your cunt canal, depositing my little protein package in your unguarded womb. Yeah, he'll get to rail you tonight, but only to spooge in a balloon (I heard the crinkle when he took his wallet out earlier). If you balloon--when you balloon--odds are it will be mine. You'll think it's his, he'll think it's his, but that nose, those eyes? They're mine.
And 23 years later, when your little bundle of joy takes his little 23andme test, the sordid truth will out. Check the scores. You: shamed slut. Him: shamed cuck. Me: laughing all the way to the sperm bank.
I don't get invited to many parties. |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:56 PM Author: Wild Candlestick Maker 180 azn man's tale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23773495) |
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:30 AM Author: Navy stage french chef yes, tomcats do this as well thru "territorial marking." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23766896) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:50 AM Author: canary mental disorder digit ratio I've never heard of someone impregnating an upper thigh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23766904) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:17 AM Author: arousing university community account (dates fat girls) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23767562) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:45 PM Author: canary mental disorder digit ratio *pisses on toilet seats* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23769484) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:52 AM Author: razzle-dazzle carnelian knife is this an original work? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23766906) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:35 AM Author: unholy house-broken location filthpig it appears so although the similarities to "grateful shiteater" cannot be discarded out of hand (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23766945) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:20 AM Author: nofapping hell sweet tailpipe I shared a bathroom w my sisters growing up and was terrified of accidentally doing this, but had nowhere else to fap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23767574) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:21 AM Author: arousing university community account Was your family too poor to buy Clorox? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23767582) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:22 AM Author: nofapping hell sweet tailpipe I would clean the bathroom after but there was always that "what if"
plus I was like 12 |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:27 AM Author: arousing university community account You usually orgasmed to that WHAT IF, didn't you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23767605) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:29 AM Author: nofapping hell sweet tailpipe or something I watched on cinemax after I was supposed to be asleep (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23767616) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:10 PM Author: arousing university community account Your sisters were on Cinemax? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23769338) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:24 AM Author: Insecure Odious Senate Hominid lol at "terrified"
moar like "excited at the thought" |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:26 AM Author: cracking factory reset button this. you don't get terrified of impregnating your sister while you have her panties covering your face and you're vigorously stroking your cock. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23767598) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:37 PM Author: Stirring reading party orchestra pit I was particularly worried when my sisters took a bath. I totally forgot about that until this thread reminded me. I wonder how many abortions they had (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23769451) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:29 PM Author: Ocher sexy house rigor this thread is pretty 1029 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23769427) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:53 PM Author: arousing university community account underrated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23773485) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:10 PM Author: Salmon cruel-hearted abode degenerate Why would you do this to your own spawn? He's basically shamed for life as a bastard child now. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23769560) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:51 PM Author: arousing university community account I will legitimate the spawn I sire with a submissive CGWBT who gives me her virginity on our wedding night. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23770704) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: Electric mexican nursing home The nose knows! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23769659) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: Navy stage french chef i laffed, why. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23769663) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 2:01 PM Author: Nudist Charcoal Trump Supporter Set An Faggot? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23773513) |
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Date: August 4th, 2013 8:21 AM Author: Soul-stirring seedy antidepressant drug volcanic crater Fuck my ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#23777266) |
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Date: May 15th, 2018 2:09 AM Author: 180 dead associate dingle berry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#36053151) |
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Date: July 6th, 2026 8:57 PM Author: Lascivious Flickering Coldplay Fan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id..#49982780) |