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"Rudy" reimagined as a tale about BIGLAW

"Ready?" "Let's go." "I'm sick of...
Maniacal odious ceo
  09/02/16
180
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/02/16
...
Electric out-of-control garrison
  09/02/16
...
Flesh arousing tattoo
  09/02/16
180 Junior about to quit when a MFH janitor grabs him by ...
Vivacious library roommate
  09/02/16
...
Maniacal odious ceo
  09/02/16
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heady private investor
  09/02/16
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Ruddy tank genital piercing
  09/02/16
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razzle meetinghouse
  09/02/16
...
Vivacious library roommate
  09/26/16
"Whoa, wait! Where are you going?" "I'm g...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/02/16
...
Maniacal odious ceo
  09/02/16
...
razzle meetinghouse
  09/02/16
...
wine stirring fat ankles
  09/07/16
...
idiotic stage
  09/07/16
180. Chance to be an all time thread.
razzle meetinghouse
  09/02/16
...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/02/16
I laughed, I cried, I got back to work
deranged vermilion people who are hurt ticket booth
  09/02/16
"Does he think I'm lying to him?" "Nobody sa...
Maniacal odious ceo
  09/02/16
...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/02/16
...
razzle meetinghouse
  09/02/16
...
red corner
  09/13/16
"What are you doing, huh?" "Break it up!&q...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/02/16
...
Maniacal odious ceo
  09/02/16
...
cowardly base
  09/18/17
...
Drab University Hunting Ground
  09/02/16
"Hey, Jim." "Your bullshit on this deal ma...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/02/16
...
Maniacal odious ceo
  09/02/16
...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/07/16
http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2935486&mc=80&am...
idiotic stage
  09/07/16
...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/07/16
...
razzle meetinghouse
  09/07/16
Somebody sold him on the idea he ought to go to law school a...
heady private investor
  09/07/16
...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/07/16
...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/13/16
...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/23/16
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heady private investor
  11/27/16
...
Maniacal odious ceo
  04/04/17
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Maniacal odious ceo
  08/29/17
...
mauve plaza boiling water
  08/29/17
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mauve plaza boiling water
  09/15/17
...
mauve plaza boiling water
  09/18/17
...
Swashbuckling pale trailer park wrinkle
  09/18/17
*Fordham Law Review members stretching in the sun as it rise...
narrow-minded multi-billionaire abode
  09/18/17
...
cowardly base
  09/18/17
...
narrow-minded multi-billionaire abode
  09/18/17
...
Maniacal odious ceo
  09/18/17
...
narrow-minded multi-billionaire abode
  09/20/17
...
cowardly base
  09/18/17
...
galvanic doctorate institution
  09/18/17
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cowardly base
  09/18/17
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aphrodisiac orchestra pit
  12/15/17
...
Coiffed territorial site trust fund
  09/01/22
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Coiffed territorial site trust fund
  08/26/25
...
lfo
  08/16/26


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Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:23 AM
Author: Maniacal odious ceo

"Ready?"

"Let's go."

"I'm sick of being all time bailiff."

"What?"

"I'm sick of being all time bailiff."

"Rudy, I told you five times, you can't play anything else but that, you're too small."

"I can too."

"You guys, I'm going, I'm sorry, let Rudy play in place."

"Fine, Rudy you second chair this moot."

---

"Mr. Ruettiger?"

"Yeah, Pete?"

"At the first recess, could we watch some of the People's Court?"

"There's only one team of attorneys we watch in this house, right?"

"Right."

---

"Take a knee, guys. Listen up. You seniors, this is your last moot. And with the exception of Steinberg, Silver, Fischel, Yaffe, tomorrow morning will be the last time you put on a suit and tie and walk into a courtroom. You know these last four years have gone by too fast. They always do."

---

"Okay, Mr. Rudy. Here's the deal. Suffolk Law is nearby. I can get you one semester there. You make grades, you get another semester. Maybe with a good GPA, you might have a chance of getting into Harvard."

---

"Your John Quinn bullshit out there makes us all look bad, so dial it down a notch."

---

"I want Rudy to take this dep in my place. He deserves it."

"Don't be ridiculous. This expert from Georgia Tech is one of the top chemists in the country. You're a share partner and a Chambers Leading Lawyer, act like it."

"I believe I am, sir."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321249)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:25 AM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321259)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:26 AM
Author: Electric out-of-control garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321269)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:26 AM
Author: Flesh arousing tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321271)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:29 AM
Author: Vivacious library roommate

180

Junior about to quit when a MFH janitor grabs him by the lapel outside the partner's door:

"You're five foot nothin, a hundred and nothin, and you barely have a speck of legal writing ability. And you hung in there with the best scholars in the land for three years. And you're gonna walk outta here with a totebag. In this life, you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody but yourself. And after what you've gone through, if you haven't done that by now, it ain't gonna never happen. Now go on back."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321286)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:31 AM
Author: Maniacal odious ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321298)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 12:51 PM
Author: heady private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321826)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 12:54 PM
Author: Ruddy tank genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321844)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 1:07 PM
Author: razzle meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321901)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 26th, 2016 11:40 AM
Author: Vivacious library roommate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31493530)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:36 AM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water

"Whoa, wait! Where are you going?"

"I'm going to the summer associate recruiting event at Davis Polk."

"Do you have some friends at Davis Polk?"

"No."

"Then there must be some other reason."

"When you announced it in class, I thought anybody could go."

"I'm sorry. This bus is for students who want to be summer associates at Davis Polk. It's not a sightseeing tour."

"Maybe someday I'll work there."

"Professor Goldberg, take over for me."

"Of course."

"Rudy...you don't have the grades for the Vault 100, much less the Vault 5. The secret to happiness in this life is to be grateful for the shitlaw firms that will recruit you. Rudy...not everyone is meant to work in BIGLAW."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321323)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:40 AM
Author: Maniacal odious ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321350)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 1:07 PM
Author: razzle meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321903)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 9:53 PM
Author: wine stirring fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31356875)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 11:04 PM
Author: idiotic stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31357443)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 1:06 PM
Author: razzle meetinghouse

180. Chance to be an all time thread.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321899)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 3:05 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31322649)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 1:18 PM
Author: deranged vermilion people who are hurt ticket booth

I laughed, I cried, I got back to work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31321957)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:14 PM
Author: Maniacal odious ceo

"Does he think I'm lying to him?"

"Nobody said anything about lying."

"I have to get pictures taken of me doing doc review to prove I'm at the firm?"

"I believe you."

"What happened to my gut? And my hair? Where did I get these?"

"So you're a glorified paralegal."

"Oh you just don't get it."

"If you are at that firm, then my opinion of Skadden has just hit the shits."

"Leave him alone."

"I come in in a suit, I sit in with partners, you just don't understand."

"Actually, it's simple. Every Monday when I log onto PACER, we see Skadden attorneys filing motions and briefs. We just don't see you."

"You will."

"What?"

"You will."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31322345)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:36 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31322469)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 3:49 PM
Author: razzle meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31323025)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2016 1:35 PM
Author: red corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31397789)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:44 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water

"What are you doing, huh?"

"Break it up!"

"Get off me!"

"Come on, Ruettiger!"

"Break it up, I said. And cool down."

"You brown-nosed suck-ass! You suck ass!"

"What's your problem, O'Hare?"

"Last day of the summer associate program and this asshole thinks we're closing the Facebook IPO."

"You just summed up your entire sorry career here in one sentence! If you had a tenth of Ruettiger's heart, you'd have made Partner. As it is, you just went from Counsel to Of Counsel. Go on, get out of here. Get me another Counsel."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31322523)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:49 PM
Author: Maniacal odious ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31322555)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 6:20 PM
Author: cowardly base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34238265)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:52 PM
Author: Drab University Hunting Ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31322575)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:56 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water

"Hey, Jim."

"Your bullshit on this deal makes us look bad, so dial it down a notch."

"Dial it down?"

"Everybody's sick and tired of hearing, 'Bill more like Ruettiger.' What do you get out of working until 3am every night, and canceling vacations? It's not worth it, you know? You gotta bring in at least one major client to officially be part of the equity partnership. The only client you'll bring in is some shitty start-up."

"If you hate it so much, why don't you just quit?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"If I quit, my father won't help pay the rent for my 2br on the Highline."

"Is that why you're here?"

"I suppose I'm under the delusion that one day I might land that major client and get a chance to run out that conference room as an equity partner."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31322605)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 3:38 PM
Author: Maniacal odious ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31322934)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 9:49 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31356845)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 9:50 PM
Author: idiotic stage

http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2935486&mc=80&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31356854)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 9:52 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31356868)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 11:11 PM
Author: razzle meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31357487)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 11:42 PM
Author: heady private investor

Somebody sold him on the idea he ought to go to law school and become a lawyer.

Well he goes to Georgetown, you know, a prestigious law center, and gets his JD.

Within 5 months of graduation he's been Lathamed and is reviewing documents in a Cravath basement.

It was ITE.

Couldn't sell his degree. There was no work. So one day he took off.

My brothers and me, we split up to live with friends and family.

Chasing a stupid dream causes nothing but you and everyone around you heartache.

Biglaw is for rich kids. Smart kids. Brilliant scholars.

It's not for us. You're a Ruettiger.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31357706)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 11:43 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31357718)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2016 1:29 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31397733)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 23rd, 2016 2:10 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#31474992)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 27th, 2016 2:27 PM
Author: heady private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#32001413)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2017 12:03 PM
Author: Maniacal odious ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#32990274)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2017 9:59 PM
Author: Maniacal odious ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34097288)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2017 10:07 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34097377)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2017 1:48 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34218370)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 4:46 PM
Author: mauve plaza boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34237601)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 6:16 PM
Author: Swashbuckling pale trailer park wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34238232)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 6:28 PM
Author: narrow-minded multi-billionaire abode

*Fordham Law Review members stretching in the sun as it rises above 1 WTC*

Partner, Atty. Cohen: [addressing Fordham Law Review members at Fordham's OCI]

Let me tell it to you as clean as I can. We have 95 summer associate positions at Skadden, sure accomplished in law school, we gave them 12 weeks of legal work and social activities at the best law firm in the country. The managing partners allow us to keep only 60 for the New York office, which means at least 35 *top 14 law students* are gonna be stuck in DC chasing shitlib non-profit shrews, or in SF going after "49ers" every day. So if any of you has any fantasies of walking out into the subway tunnel, never seeing the sun, with your messenger bag facing outward and Skadden logo printed on the front, you best leave them right here. Of you 15 Law Review members maybe we'll keep one or two. My job is basically to work the shit out of you for the next 12 weeks, and whomever is still standing at the end, maybe we'll use for doc review. You'll be cite checking our briefs week in and out. The greatest value to the client, (and believe me we add value) if they don't care how much you bill. It's written off. Our senior associates are going to drop files on you like you're a first year M&A associate. Like what you hear so far? Any of you wanna run to NYU for that tax LL.M? Now's your chance.

No? Steinberg. They're all yours.

Well don't just stand there trying to think, let's hit those documents. Review! Review! Go!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n88hXH6_-AU

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34238314)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 6:33 PM
Author: cowardly base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34238346)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 6:39 PM
Author: narrow-minded multi-billionaire abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34238384)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 10:48 PM
Author: Maniacal odious ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34240170)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 20th, 2017 1:16 PM
Author: narrow-minded multi-billionaire abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34251026)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 7:45 PM
Author: cowardly base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34238769)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 8:06 PM
Author: galvanic doctorate institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34238875)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 9:55 PM
Author: cowardly base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34239734)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2017 8:11 AM
Author: aphrodisiac orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#34925572)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 1st, 2022 10:10 PM
Author: Coiffed territorial site trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#45107231)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 26th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Coiffed territorial site trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#49214836)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 16th, 2026 6:35 PM
Author: lfo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2...id..#50071945)