If we had gotten married when I was fuck, idk, an annoying 23 year old, I definitely would have made him THING-DO. AND THING-DO. And when we were done THING-DOING, we would have THING-DONE some more. But I'm middle-aged now and long ago figured out that it's all a fucking scam.

It also helps a lot that we have an insane amount of overlap in our personal and professional interests.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851081)

Describe your insufferableness.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851188)

idk, i was a typical dumb 23 y/o cunt. was arrogant, thought i knew it all, thought i was too good for everything and everyone even though objectively at the time i was kind of a loser. valued all the wrong things. idk, i was just a fucking retard. i grew up a lot in my late 20s.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851254)

maybe its because we were both FUCKING OLD when we got married but... i dont feel the need to drag him around to hang out with every person i'm friends with. i outgrew that phase more than a decade ago. he's met all of my friends that actually matter to me and vice versa.

generally speaking, we don't need to be stuck up each others asses 24/7. we have a few friends that we hang out with maybe once or twice a month and spend a fair amount of time with his sister and her husband whenever we can. but other than that we're both quite happy to do our own thing. he travels a fair amount for lessons/gigs/concerts (he's a musician- a real one, not a greasy hippie guitarist faggot) and my work schedule keeps me at home mostly, but i work a combo of days and nights. when we're both home we enjoy hanging out with each other and see friends when we can.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851216)

i think one of the positives of getting married when you are OLD AS FUCK is that you have naturally grown past all of the stages of social crap that you may have inadvertently gotten stuck in if you were a young married couple.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851261)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851297)

when we first started dating, i explained xo and showed him a handful of threads.

thankfully he found peterman-threading highlights almost as funny as i did.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851234)

i know this is a foreign concept to you, but try to understand.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851186)

The same thing that changes for younger fertile couples when they get married

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851248)

its honestly weird as fuck to me that the men on xo hate women so much that they can't imagine wanting to be with one woman for life unless that woman is going to give them a kid.

most people that are capable of loving and being loved will find the right person and see the value in making that lifelong commitment. but i am just going to stop right now because its not worth ranting to the 8 remaining mentally poasters. lulz

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851317)

yeah the individual commitment thing is obvious, but a cynical misanthrope wouldn't be receptive to it, so i mentioned all the other objective legal benefits of marriage that don't have anything to do with kids.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851324)

just gonna go on a bit of a ramble here....for many years a lot of people irl asked me why i never got married. and the truth was that i was afraid of repeating my parents' mistakes- both my mother and father have been married and divorced *several* times. i've mentioned this on the shitboart for the past 20 years. i could have married two of my exes, but when i thought about it, i knew those relationships wouldn't last. i asked myself "do i want to wake up next to this person at age 60 or 70" and the answer was always no. i loved them, but i never thought that those relationships could ever be life-long. and above all else, i didn't want to get divorced.

i married my husband because we genuinely love each other and view each other as people that we are willing to grow together with over the next 3-4 decades. (we're old, ok! so 3-4 decades will be good LOL) we have almost identical values. we have an absolutely ridiculous number of shared interests/hobbies. we never run out of things to talk about. we trust each other completely. he knows i would never, ever cheat on him or leave him- and vice versa. and we are both- sorry xo- genuinely good people who would never fuck each other over or take advantage of each other.

but mostly- we want to grow old together. we want to wake up next to each other at age 60, 70, 80. that's why we got married.

*shrug*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851359)

a lot of casual observers may think i "missed out" because i didn't have kids, but i honestly think i did what was right for me. i waited for a relationship that i absolutely knew wouldn't end in divorce. i wouldnt recommend my path to other people necessarily, but it was right for me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851390)

it's crazy how much time and energy people spend being mad and judging people for doing things that have zero impact on them at all. deranged behavior.

also, let's say that they're right and that you're retarded, crazy, etc. for not wanting (or just missing out) on having kids. when then shouldn't they not want your retarded, crazy genes in the gene pool then?

i think the simple answer is closest to the truth: there's not much logic or consistency, it's just a bunch of people YSFFM.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851418)

I honestly have never cared what other people do as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, and more importantly- I've never cared what other people think about me. Maybe that's because I've never been "important" (ie, wealthy/powerful) irl.

So... whatever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851438)

especially 180 on the silver lining in waiting to get married until you're absolutely sure because you know how shitty divorce is.

i think (perhaps too generously) that most people, even here, don't think of women as only useful for breeding. people come here to blow off steam. plus you'll get harangued by the extremely online misanthropes if you say otherwise. i think most people just don't say shit because it's either because they know it's pointless (what is the point of us identifying consuela as a retarded misanthrope for the millionith time) or because it's not enjoyable.

then there's a few stimmed autists like me who don't care if a bunch of people flame me for expressing bort-heterodox views.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851398)

But even so the title of this thread would be very different if jcm treated this as a financial arrangement

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851476)

but if raising kids was legitimately the only purpose then there would be no bar to terminating one if they couple was sterile or if their kids were already raised.

anyway, people get married for various reasons. even if you're convinced that is the sole purpose of marriage, you also know that many others believe differently, like in jcm's case considering she's said she's never wanted kids.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851228)

do you remember this?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851313)

nice try, though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851368)

<3

*blows kiss

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851417)

men with COCKS don't worry about such matters.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851419)

no guy wants to be with a used up fuckpiece.

ur husband has given himself a chance to love you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851471)

*throws self off cliff

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851524)

mind-boggling.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851599)

Are you on the pill and do you let him creampie with impunity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851600)

to be fair, its easy to always want sexytime when your partner is out of town ~10-14 days a month.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851608)

Good to hear you are doing your Job

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861608&forum_id=2Vannesa#49851714)