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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
appetizing new version
  04/24/15
...
multi-colored crotch parlour
  04/24/15
...
Adventurous generalized bond
  04/24/15
...
Slate home
  04/24/15
did this today
Translucent pontificating ratface pocket flask
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
vermilion lodge death wish
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Bearded School Telephone
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
provocative chrome spot
  10/22/15
...
red garrison
  10/22/15
...
heady fishy center queen of the night
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
house-broken bull headed house
  10/22/15
...
appetizing new version
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Chartreuse At-the-ready Weed Whacker Boiling Water
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
appetizing new version
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Chartreuse At-the-ready Weed Whacker Boiling Water
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
appetizing new version
  05/16/16
...
hairraiser incel sanctuary
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
comical sooty box office karate
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
racy native philosopher-king
  12/28/16
...
hairraiser incel sanctuary
  11/11/20
...
doobsian fluffy site striped hyena
  07/26/24
...
naked talented stag film
  10/08/25
...
appetizing new version
  11/09/25


Poast new message in this thread



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Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: appetizing new version

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: multi-colored crotch parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Adventurous generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Slate home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Translucent pontificating ratface pocket flask

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: vermilion lodge death wish

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Bearded School Telephone

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: provocative chrome spot

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: red garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: heady fishy center queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: house-broken bull headed house

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: appetizing new version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Chartreuse At-the-ready Weed Whacker Boiling Water

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: appetizing new version

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Chartreuse At-the-ready Weed Whacker Boiling Water

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#30492644)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: appetizing new version

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: hairraiser incel sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: comical sooty box office karate

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: racy native philosopher-king

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: hairraiser incel sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#41347456)



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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: doobsian fluffy site striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: naked talented stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: appetizing new version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Vannesa#49414142)