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Jerry Seinfeld: What's The Deal With Bowls? Do Bowlers Go To Footballs?
| ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., | 12/07/25 |
| theranchman | 12/07/25 |
| ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., | 12/07/25 |
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Date: December 7th, 2025 6:15 PM Author: ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5807638&forum_id=2Vannesa#49492081) |
Date: December 7th, 2025 7:00 PM Author: theranchman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5807638&forum_id=2Vannesa#49492234) |
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Date: December 7th, 2025 7:02 PM Author: ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Jerry is rifling through his mail. George enters, flustered.
GEORGE: You know what I don’t get? There are forty-six college football bowl games now. Forty-six! There aren’t even that many good teams! They’re just inventing bowls. The “Cereal Bowl,” the “Garden Hose Bowl,” the “Couch Cushion Bowl”—everybody gets a bowl!
JERRY: (leans on counter) College football has gone completely bowl-crazy. Every team goes to a bowl! A losing team goes to a bowl! It used to be special—“the Rose Bowl.” Now you lose eight games, you’re in the “Tidy Cat Litter Bowl.”
GEORGE: They should at least make the bowls worth something! Put actual soup in there!
JERRY: (mocking sportscaster voice) “And in the fourth quarter, Ohio State really ladles it on!”
Kramer bursts in.
KRAMER: You talkin’ bowls? I love bowls! Anything can be a bowl. You put something in it—BOOM. Bowl.
JERRY: See? That’s the problem. Football stole bowls from people like him. Real bowl people! Bowl-people culture has been appropriated!
GEORGE: (confused) Bowl-people culture?
JERRY: Think about it. Football teams go to bowls… but bowlers—actual bowlers—what do they get? Nothing! No championships called the “Football!” No bowler ever said, “Yeah I’m headed to a football next weekend!”
KRAMER: (nodding intensely) They should! “Hey Bob, where you headed?” “Oh, I qualified for the Fall Invitational Football!” Sounds official.
GEORGE: Bowlers going to footballs. This is where we’re at.
JERRY: Oh yeah, the PBA playoffs—“The Super Football.” Guys walking around polishing their bowling balls in a stadium while 80,000 people chant “FOOT! BALL!”
KRAMER: (demonstrates) And instead of Gatorade, they dump… bowling shoes on the coach!
GEORGE: (disgusted) Ugh! Used bowling shoes?!
KRAMER: Tradition, Jerry! Tradition!
JERRY: (to George) You know what this is? It’s the Bowl Inflation Era. Soon, everyone gets their own bowl. “Congratulations! You parallel-parked correctly—here’s the Parking Bowl.”
GEORGE: (dreamily) I could win that.
Beat.
JERRY: You’d still end up in the consolation “Fender Scratch Bowl.”
GEORGE: (throws hands up) Why even have bowls at all!?
KRAMER: (points at him) That’s the spirit! No bowls, only footballs! |