Around 24-25, got hooked into looksmaxxing subculture and it was a 180 life development. Learned to eat well, lift, etc. Became a physical, albeit not spiritual/social, Chad. (Which is consistent with my parents, who before becoming fat in middle aged, were considered very attractive, and people even today say they were beautiful/hot when I show them pictures with me as a kid.)

Since then dated a bit, hooked up with a few girls, etc. Recently met an actual hot girl on apps. Hot, smart, good personality, not mentally ill lib, wants family/kids, etc. Seriously see future with this girl.

But just can't get over how she's been hot her whole life. Dated in HS, lost virginity in HS, she went to top UG where she was probably one of the hottest girls on campus. I don't think she ever had a 'party' phase, but she's been in relationships most of her life since HS. I obviously haven't been, even after I glowed up.

Is it weird I can't get over this? I just know she's dated real, lifelong Chads before. Had sex orders of magnitude more times than I have. I'm a fake poseur, a beneficiary of autistic looksmaxxing instagram/reddit content. Just feel like there's no way she can truly be into me without thinking of the good times she has had.

This is the only hangup I have. Otherwise seriously want to marry her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5801270&forum_id=2Vannesa#49453207)

i guess what really sticks in my craw are small things. like we were out during halloween and we saw a funny couples costume, and i said it reminded me of how a cousin of mine dressed up as a deer and her bf as a hunter, and they posed for pics wit her having been 'hunted'. she told me she had done a couples costume like that in college. i have never done a couples costume with anyone. nor ever had a valentine, NYE kiss, etc. all things she's from what i can tell consistently had.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5801270&forum_id=2Vannesa#49453233)

Over time, you'll either become chad as you rack up more experiences and the deficits become more remote in time, or you'll find another fellow loser who leveled up in looks later in life.

Just remember, it's silly to put this or any bitch up on a pedestal for their looks because looks are so fleeting. Out of all the insanely hot chicks at my high school, there may only be 1 or 2 that kept it together enough that I'd still have any interest in them. Whenever I would log into dating sites that had been unused for a long time, bitches that had been at or above my league a few years ago were now below it. So don't forget that regardless of how hot this bitch is, in 5 years (10 max), you're going to be a tier above her if you continue to take care of yourself. Your value is semi-permanent whereas theirs is rapidly declining every day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5801270&forum_id=2Vannesa#49453937)

if you're hot now and slept around a bit then you should realize it's no big feat. this is infinitely truer for women. you've already proven to yourself you can do it so there's no reason to be insecure any longer. so why should you feel insecure?

if you can't stop feeling insecure you just have to fake it til you make it. it's no different than imposter syndrome. eventually you stop feeling like an imposter because you aren't one. eventually you should stop feeling insecure because you have no reason to be. you've accomplished your goal, and being a loser in high school just makes that more impressive.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5801270&forum_id=2Vannesa#49453552)

Your other choice is to break up with her, date around to "even up the score" (though to what end?), then try to get out of that cycle and find another good future wife and mother of your children. However, you'll never really "catch up" (see above about not going back to hs and college), so you risk getting stuck there as you rot your soul. And meanwhile, you'll have let one great gf get away to do so, and you may not find another. And, moreover, you delay having kids and will have fewer years with your future kids and grandkids.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5801270&forum_id=2Vannesa#49453732)

Being appreciative of her looks is fine, but that has nothing to do with how you look. At the end of the day sane women are looking for a good companion and provider. You're lucky and must possess some high quality for her to hook up with you. Relax and enjoy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5801270&forum_id=2Vannesa#49453758)

this chick has 100000% cheated on OP at least a handful of times or she was spinning him as an attention/provisioning plate and he doesnt even realize

AND LJL @ meeting a "GF" on a fuck app, lol she doesnt even naturally like your pheromones you got put together by a satanic homosexual algorithm congrats!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5801270&forum_id=2Vannesa#49454038)

Until then, best of luck.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5801270&forum_id=2Vannesa#49454853)

The hottest and most intelligent put together chick I know is a mental case. Sometimes that is just inescapable for chicks no matter how good looking they are. Cool guys who have been pounded the hottest girls in school since 8th grade will cheat on them and ignore them because they know how to play the game better and just dont GAF

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5801270&forum_id=2Vannesa#49454862)