YOUR "DUTIES": reside permanently in a 10×10 soundproof room inside a decommissioned missile silo in Resolute, Nunavut.

YOUR "JOB": manually re-catalog every fraudulent ADM tow truck contract from the assignment start date spanning back exactly 20 years. (FYI, the pile towers past 10,000 contracts, each at least 5 pages thick, stacked like frozen stalagmites to the ceiling).

You are generously provided with a Microsoft Surface 11 (top-of-the-line, eternally inadequate), an external keyboard, and an external mouse. They will never fail. You are forbidden from using external monitors, docking stations, or even a desk. The Mahchine™ demands you work from the bed or the floor.

- THE $YSTEM™:

(1) For every gigabyte you index, you receive $50,000 lump sum, tax-free.

Please note that maeking this payout is feasible — a 50,000-page pile, even at ~20–40 KB/page (scanned text), yields ~1–2 GB of data. At human review pace (say 2–3 min/page, ~600–800 pages/day under grind conditions), an XO attorney could feasibly chew through most of it in 6 months and actually “earn” one or actually two payouts!

(2) No AI is permitted; every line must pass under your failing eye$.

(3) The AI overlord detects misfiles with 100% accuracy. If a single error is found, you must use the temporarily provided sledgehammer to physically destroy the server, including every drive and board, until the holographic AI confirms total data loss.

Please note that you may not use the temporarily provided sledgehammer to harm yourself, any material in the cell, or as a tool to exit before completion or failure of the job.

(4) The AI projects one endless video above your bed: Wesley Johnson, Partner-in-Charge, glassy-eyed at 3:00 AM, chanting on loop: “'Clause 9.2'… in the zone… fuck my a$$… 'Clause 9.2'…”

- THE "AMENITIES":

(1) A twin Tempur-Pedic bed.

(2) Refrigerator, freezer, sink, dishwasher, and an unclogging toilet.

(3) One pajama set, one glass of water, and the privilege of a weekly drone delivery: pep pizza, nutrient bricks, and bottled tundra water.

(4) Each drone delivery concludes with a compliance survey: “Rate your pep pizza (1–5). Failure to respond within 2 minutes will be logged as "$ystemic Noncompliance,” punishment being the Gentlemen™ turning their gaze inward, pressing their beady eyes to the glass until you log compliance.

- THOSE WHO SHALL BEAR WITNESS TO YOUR "ASSIGNMENT":

(1) Your 6×6 inch bullet-proof glass window peers into the tundra.

(2) The Gentlemen™ (polar bears) wander by, staring at you for hours with black, unblinking eyes.

They do not judge. They log.

- THE CLAUSES:

(1) On your second week, Evan39 appears in the reflection of the window's glass, holding a crumpled receipt.

It reads: CHARGE 9.2(b): Re-Optimization Chamber, Utility Fee… $180.00

He sobs: “I thought the file was deleted… how dare they!”

(2) Further, the hum of Boom's (model 3.0, pre-release) wheelchair rises from the Well™ below, in an adjacent cell. Boom screams, non-stop, 24/7, just loudly enough for you to constantly hear: “FRAUD FRAUD FRAUD! Tow driver$ in Vega$ stole the FILE [glit¢h]!! 50 cal payback CUMMING ENJOY FREIND$!! FRAUD FRAUD FRAUD!!! Rigged fag world!!! FRAUD FRAUD FRAUD—[loop resumes]”

(3) The silo shakes every hour, every day, enough to wake you up at least once per night while you sleep in your twin-sized bed - the sound of total compliance.

In conclusion, my dear friends, this generous opportunity constitutes a permanent record.

You either complete the assignment and digitally preserve ADM’s tow fraud… or you pay the bill in the form of a full systemic wipe, friend. Every drive smashed, every receipt logged, your despair monetized as a $180 line item. FRAUD = PAID.

You live and are released back into the "world," but receive nothing for your time and efforts...except your despair monetized as a $180.00 lump-sum, tax-free payment deposited into a bank account of your choice.

Despite your failure, before your exit from the cell, a paper receipt simply stating: "FRAUD = PAID. This is fine," signed by your AI overlord "friend" with a smiley-face watermark, stamped "NON-REFUNDABLE."

Win or fail, you are provided a helicopter flight to the nearest regional airport to assist your return to your permanent residence, at no cost to you (subject to weather conditions and availability of compliant pilots).

GUN TO HEAD, U MUST CHOOSE (AND KILLSELF IS NOT PERMITTED).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5769477&forum_id=2Vannesa#49234134)