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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/03/18
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
arousing honey-headed potus mediation
  12/03/18
ty!
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
self-absorbed azure step-uncle's house
  12/03/18
...
maroon kitty cat idiot
  12/24/21
...
Crimson goyim
  12/03/18
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Impertinent Rose Lodge
  12/03/18
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Flushed Fluffy Set
  12/03/18
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Laughsome bearded wagecucks space
  12/03/18
...
self-absorbed azure step-uncle's house
  12/03/18
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/07/18
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excitant site
  12/07/18
...
Mind-boggling bawdyhouse
  12/07/18
...
Translucent soggy halford chapel
  12/07/18
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Startling milk
  12/07/18
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/14/18
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Bearded Marvelous Senate
  12/14/18
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/18
...
Crimson goyim
  12/24/18
...
Bat-shit-crazy faggotry dingle berry
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Aphrodisiac zippy church cuckold
  12/24/18
120
Motley shaky principal's office death wish
  12/24/18
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/18
...
Motley shaky principal's office death wish
  12/24/18
...
Crawly Hissy Fit
  12/24/18
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/18
...
Mauve orchestra pit
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
out-of-control plaza prole
  12/24/18
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/16/21
...
misanthropic sick twinkling uncleanness affirmative action
  12/24/18
...
Big painfully honest stead love of her life
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Navy organic girlfriend
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  07/01/19
...
Crimson goyim
  07/01/19
...
Crimson goyim
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/10/19
getting close...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/19
...
fuchsia field people who are hurt
  12/24/19
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/19
...
Stirring Yellow Public Bath Doctorate
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Slippery box office water buffalo
  12/24/19
...
Shivering exciting nursing home
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
out-of-control plaza prole
  12/24/19
lol
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/19
This
maroon kitty cat idiot
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Lemon frozen faggot firefighter property
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/19
...
amethyst theatre
  12/24/19
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
maroon kitty cat idiot
  12/24/19
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/19
...
Emerald house degenerate
  12/24/19
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/15/20
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Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/23/20
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Concupiscible House-broken Theater Stage Gaming Laptop
  12/24/20
It's time.
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/24/20
...
Mind-boggling bawdyhouse
  12/24/20
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/16/21
...
Crawly Hissy Fit
  12/16/21
...
Concupiscible House-broken Theater Stage Gaming Laptop
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/20/21
Lmao
irradiated chocolate hall
  12/20/21
...
Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction
  12/22/21
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irradiated chocolate hall
  12/22/21
...
Cordovan sandwich ratface
  12/24/21
...
maroon kitty cat idiot
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: arousing honey-headed potus mediation

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: self-absorbed azure step-uncle's house

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: maroon kitty cat idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Crimson goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Impertinent Rose Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Flushed Fluffy Set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Laughsome bearded wagecucks space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: self-absorbed azure step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: excitant site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Mind-boggling bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Translucent soggy halford chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Startling milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Bearded Marvelous Senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Crimson goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Bat-shit-crazy faggotry dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac zippy church cuckold

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Motley shaky principal's office death wish

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Motley shaky principal's office death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Crawly Hissy Fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Mauve orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: out-of-control plaza prole

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: misanthropic sick twinkling uncleanness affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Big painfully honest stead love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Navy organic girlfriend

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Crimson goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Crimson goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: fuchsia field people who are hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Stirring Yellow Public Bath Doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Slippery box office water buffalo

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Shivering exciting nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: out-of-control plaza prole

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: maroon kitty cat idiot

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Lemon frozen faggot firefighter property

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: amethyst theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: maroon kitty cat idiot

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Emerald house degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Concupiscible House-broken Theater Stage Gaming Laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Mind-boggling bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Crawly Hissy Fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Concupiscible House-broken Theater Stage Gaming Laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: irradiated chocolate hall

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Chestnut exhilarant dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: irradiated chocolate hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Cordovan sandwich ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: maroon kitty cat idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Vannesa#49538935)