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I smear the toilet seat with my semen at house parties.
| Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm | 08/02/13 |
| Razzle Spruce Home Rigor | 08/03/13 |
| Ungodly mother | 08/02/13 |
| sadistic mildly autistic factory reset button useless brakes | 08/02/13 |
| Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm | 08/02/13 |
| sadistic mildly autistic factory reset button useless brakes | 08/02/13 |
| Cream awkward deer antler | 08/02/13 |
| Saffron Balding Church Building Reading Party | 08/02/13 |
| translucent hyperactive gaming laptop whorehouse | 08/02/13 |
| Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm | 08/02/13 |
| translucent hyperactive gaming laptop whorehouse | 08/02/13 |
| Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm | 08/02/13 |
| translucent hyperactive gaming laptop whorehouse | 08/02/13 |
| Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm | 08/02/13 |
| Magenta cerebral foreskin really tough guy | 08/02/13 |
| ocher swashbuckling orchestra pit genital piercing | 08/02/13 |
| Flatulent Heady Menage Pocket Flask | 08/02/13 |
| electric rambunctious stead indirect expression | 08/02/13 |
| Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm | 08/03/13 |
| Slimy State Coffee Pot | 08/02/13 |
| Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm | 08/02/13 |
| soul-stirring shitlib | 08/02/13 |
| Ungodly mother | 08/02/13 |
| transparent boiling water | 08/03/13 |
| Frum famous landscape painting forum | 08/04/13 |
| Red rehab | 05/15/18 |
| purple becky | 07/06/26 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:28 AM Author: Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm I hate these whores who get drunk at parties and leave with alphas they just met. They won't even look at me, me with my prestigious Juris Doctor degree, me with my stable income, me with my expensive suits, me a bona fide member of the bar, me a legend in the County Court lunchroom. No, these sluts chase firefighters and flight lieutenants, actors and athletes, cool chill bros with smooth faces and square jawlines.
But I have the toilet.
Yeah, while you're out there shaking your tits for the hunk parade, I'm parked here jerking off to the thought of you fucked. I go for slow, leisurely strokes, detailed, almost literary, scenarios. You knock. "I need to pee!" My fist goes spastic, responding. It only takes a minute or two. I'm efficient.
Door opens. Surprise, you're drunk. Don't even bother waiting for me to finish washing my hands. You just plop on the toilet, jeans down, legs splayed. I dry my hands, ever the gentleman, not even risking a sidelong glance. "Hey, why's the seat all--"
Door closes.
It only takes one. One little sperm to make its journey up your cunt canal, depositing my little protein package in your unguarded womb. Yeah, he'll get to rail you tonight, but only to spooge in a balloon (I heard the crinkle when he took his wallet out earlier). If you balloon--when you balloon--odds are it will be mine. You'll think it's his, he'll think it's his, but that nose, those eyes? They're mine.
And 23 years later, when your little bundle of joy takes his little 23andme test, the sordid truth will out. Check the scores. You: shamed slut. Him: shamed cuck. Me: laughing all the way to the sperm bank.
I don't get invited to many parties. |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:56 PM Author: Razzle Spruce Home Rigor 180 azn man's tale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23773495) |
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:30 AM Author: Ungodly mother yes, tomcats do this as well thru "territorial marking." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23766896) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:50 AM Author: sadistic mildly autistic factory reset button useless brakes I've never heard of someone impregnating an upper thigh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23766904) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:17 AM Author: Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm (dates fat girls) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23767562) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:45 PM Author: sadistic mildly autistic factory reset button useless brakes *pisses on toilet seats* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23769484) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:52 AM Author: Cream awkward deer antler is this an original work? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23766906) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:35 AM Author: Saffron Balding Church Building Reading Party it appears so although the similarities to "grateful shiteater" cannot be discarded out of hand (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23766945) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:20 AM Author: translucent hyperactive gaming laptop whorehouse I shared a bathroom w my sisters growing up and was terrified of accidentally doing this, but had nowhere else to fap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23767574) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:21 AM Author: Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm Was your family too poor to buy Clorox? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23767582) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:22 AM Author: translucent hyperactive gaming laptop whorehouse I would clean the bathroom after but there was always that "what if"
plus I was like 12 |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:27 AM Author: Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm You usually orgasmed to that WHAT IF, didn't you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23767605) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:29 AM Author: translucent hyperactive gaming laptop whorehouse or something I watched on cinemax after I was supposed to be asleep (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23767616) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:10 PM Author: Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm Your sisters were on Cinemax? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23769338) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:24 AM Author: Magenta cerebral foreskin really tough guy lol at "terrified"
moar like "excited at the thought" |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:26 AM Author: ocher swashbuckling orchestra pit genital piercing this. you don't get terrified of impregnating your sister while you have her panties covering your face and you're vigorously stroking your cock. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23767598) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:37 PM Author: Flatulent Heady Menage Pocket Flask I was particularly worried when my sisters took a bath. I totally forgot about that until this thread reminded me. I wonder how many abortions they had (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23769451) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:29 PM Author: electric rambunctious stead indirect expression this thread is pretty 1029 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23769427) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:53 PM Author: Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm underrated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23773485) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:10 PM Author: Slimy State Coffee Pot Why would you do this to your own spawn? He's basically shamed for life as a bastard child now. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23769560) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:51 PM Author: Ruddy Electric Furnace Business Firm I will legitimate the spawn I sire with a submissive CGWBT who gives me her virginity on our wedding night. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23770704) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: soul-stirring shitlib The nose knows! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23769659) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: Ungodly mother i laffed, why. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23769663) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 2:01 PM Author: transparent boiling water An Faggot? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23773513) |
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Date: August 4th, 2013 8:21 AM Author: Frum famous landscape painting forum Fuck my ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#23777266) |
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Date: May 15th, 2018 2:09 AM Author: Red rehab (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#36053151) |
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Date: July 6th, 2026 8:57 PM Author: purple becky (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2Vannesa#49982780) |