But there was this girl I had a thing with the year before I met my now wife. A virgin. I was 38 and she was 28 at that time. Just a girl. Looks were probably in the lower 25% of chicks I've fucked, but I really liked her personality. Physically, the pair bonding when we were together was nothing like I've felt before or since. Even closer than with hs/college organic LTR's, but the difference was that with this girl we only slept together about 10-15 times total. This girl was standoffish in the way a fine bitch will halfway shit test and go cold, but she was not in that category of attractiveness. I didn't chase because I knew in the back of my mind, I could get better looking pussy which was my only concern back then. This was contrasted with just this feeling I would get when I was with her that she and I were soulmates if I would just let it happen. We didn't break up because we were never together. We had a little tiff and I was like fuck this bitch I can get finer pussy. It wasn't all me. She would play very hard to get like not returning texts for days. Then suddenly she would meet me at 11 on a Friday night and we'd fuck all night in a hotel. The way the way she kissed and touched me and whispered the most obscene and filthy things in my ear with me knowing she was a virgin a couple months before left an imprint on me that's hard to describe.

Shortly after I met my now wife and that was that. My wife is solid and has given me children, but I don't have a true connection with her. We are mismatched personality wise, but I have just accepted it for the kids and look at it as an arraigned marriage and I'll just deal with it. It's not that bad.

The other girl married a trust fund type of lazy fuck about 8 years ago. I'm sure he treats her good, but of course I don't think he's on my level at all. Right when she was about to get married she contacted me again. I kind of blew her off because it coincided right with the birth of my first child. I felt good about the contact though, because I knew then that she really felt something for me from before.

Over the next years I thought about her a lot. Mostly in the terms of some mythological perfect girl for me that I had let slip. I wanted so bad to call her, but I just was not ready for the crushing news about kids, and how her life was going, etc. This nice to hear from you, but yeah, ok bye, let's stay in touch shit.

About a year ago, she texted me out of the blue. I didn't have her number stored, but I knew. I felt like I really loved her just instantly and completely from that moment. Like it was meant to be. We talked by text everyday from work. I got a second phone and began using Signal to erase things and so I wouldn't have to worry at home. We had great convo and mutually were in agreement that we loved each other.

She lives in another city, but I travel a bit and met her in person just to talk and hug. It felt amazing. Eventually, I was able to fly out and arrange a hotel meetup in a different city than we both live because we each have some family there. It was everything I hoped it would be and I felt closer to her than ever.

It never affected my daily life other than giving me something to be happy about everyday and something to look forward to when we talked.

About a month ago, our talks became less frequent during the day. She went on vacation with her family and when she got back it was all I missed you so much, etc.

I told her I was taking a quick mini vacation with my family to her city for the weekend and I hoped we could at least meet up in a public place. This was like on a Wednesday. She no replied me like back in the old days and went silent until after the weekend then texted me Monday with a lame reason but not really an excuse. She really didn't apologize for it.

I didn't jump her ass or anything, I left it as well text when you have some time, but no I love you's or anything.

I knew it was probably over. She hasn't texted back for 2 days.

I'm hurting so bad right now, bros. I fucking poured my heart and words out to this bitch more than any other girl in my entire life. Maybe she thinks I'm weak even though I have studded bitches twice as good looking as her. I don't know, maybe it was just some ordinary fun she was getting out of her system and I thought it was true love and meant to be. I have never in my life had a rejection like this. The world feels like gray ash right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5895334&forum_id=2most#50081093)

What is your goal with this though, to just keep having an affair with her on the side forever?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5895334&forum_id=2most#50081133)

Also, I said that I was glad that she had someone that treats her well and is a good financial umbrella over her even though she has a decent jerb. She does not have kids and has suffered several miscarriages over her marriage (yeah she is vaxx'd; I am a pureblood). I told her I wanted to make it to her city and see her in person maybe 4 to 5 times a year, but most of the times I will have my family too, so it would just be for a bit. Maybe if lucky, once or so per year we could arrange something and be able to be intimate together. Outside of that I wanted to know everything about her and for us to know that it was true love inside our hearts. That is all I wanted.

I even bought this bitch a Valentine's Day gift on my own and hid for 3 months and brought it to her outside a store when I was in her city with my family. I have fucking never in my life WANTED to buy a Valentine's Day gift for a girl before. I've done it many times because socially, I know I have to. But with her I WANTED to.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5895334&forum_id=2most#50081152)