Rachmiel's Final Judgement is Upon Us
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 1st, 2015 1:30 PM Author: exhilarant school voyeur
31 When the Founder of Autoadmit returns in his glory, and all the poasters with him, then he will poast on his glorious bort. 32 Before him will be gathered all the poasters, and he will separate sumos from pumos as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 And he will place the sumos on his right, but the pumos on the left. 34 Then the Founder of Autoadmit will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my moniker, inherit the bort prepared for you from the foundation of the internet. 35 For I was bored and you gave me niggerthreading and created funny memes, I was suicidal and you gave me hoap, I was a stranger and you blank bumped me, 36 I was naked and you didn’t spam my dick pics, I was sick and you gave me Dr. Wyrm, I was in prison and you trolled Idris Elba.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Rachmiel, when did we niggerthread, or create funny memes? 38 And when did we give you hoap or blank bump any of your posts? 39 And when did we ever send Dr. Wyrm to help you or troll Idris Elba?’ 40 And the Founder of Autoadmit will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed pumos, into the internet's ether prepared for Peter North and his alts. 42 For I was bored and you spammed the bort with your silly nonsense, I was suicidal and you begged me to pull the plug, 43 I was a stranger and you did not blank bump my threads, naked and you spammed my dick pics all over the internet.’ 44 Then the pumos also will answer, saying, ‘Rachmiel, when did we see you bored or suicidal, and did not minister to you?’ 45 Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ 46 And the pumos will go away into eternal punishment, banished to reddit forever, but the righteous into xo immortality.”
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2843999&forum_id=2#27595324)
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Date: April 1st, 2015 11:34 PM Author: rambunctious indecent doctorate whorehouse
One night I dreamed I was poasting on the lawboard.
Many poasts flashed before my eyes.
In each poast i noticed names in the "author line."
Sometimes there were real names,
other times there were pumos.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only pumos.
So I said to the Rach,
"You promised me Rach,
that if I poasted with an author name,
you would poast with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been pumos
poasting in all of my threads.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"
Rach replied,
"The times when you have
seen only pumos in your thread,
is when I blank bumped you."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2843999&forum_id=2#27599679) |
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