Date: December 31st, 2021 11:14 AM Author: olive deer antler
Probably that active tenacity is the best attribute you can have. Also, don't let work ruin the rest of your life, especially relationships. In the GC environment it's a tough needle to thread
Date: December 31st, 2021 4:12 PM Author: olive deer antler
By active tenacity I mean just not enduring and sticking with something, but actively taking intiative and pushing forward to make things happen and solve problems. If A doesn't work, do B. Then C. Then D, etc. It's hard to do, partly because there are always people in opposition, telling you what a big risk you're taking, or how you are bound to fail, or asking "why aren't you satisfied?" I have often thought that each person trying to get something done supports at least 10 critics.
Passive tenacity is when you don't give up, but merely put up with circumstances. For me that is a painful way to live.
I have known a lot of entrepreneurs over the years, and the ones who made it for the most part were actively tenacious. Maybe I am full of crap. Just my view.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:12 AM Author: Shaky chad range
When are you going to acknowledge the truth about HBD and how you’ve ruined this country through blank slatism? You have very little time left to repent for your extreme evil
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:18 AM Author: olive deer antler
In retirement there really isn't a distinction between free and unfree time. I spend a ton of time on volunteer activities. Otherwise I ponder, read, wife and I usually watch some streaming thing in the evenings, meals with friends, interactions with kids and family, yard work, gardening. Just got back from a 3 hour breakfast with a good friend. Have not been biking or golfing lately, but like those.
Date: December 31st, 2021 4:18 PM Author: olive deer antler
Right now I am in the middle of two books, "From Missouri," the autobiography of Thad Snow who was a pioneer farmer and sharecropper rights (New Deal era) activist from my part of the world. My parents were sharecroppers for a number of years, and I'm really enjoying the book. It covers the period about 1900-1950. The other one is "Unsettled: What Climate Science Tells Us, What It Doesn't, and Why It Matters" by Steve Koonin. It's a critique of the establishment view of the scientific basis of human caused climate change and has been widely vilified by the left. My good friend a theoretical physicist sent it to me. I also have a friend's really bad novel queued up on the iPad, but haven't managed to get past the first few pages.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:19 PM Author: Hideous orchestra pit digit ratio
Only two? I'm in the middle of ten books right now.
Here, I'll list them, not to brag or anything:
Philosophical Foundations of Physics (Rudolf Carnap) ((I'm only interested in Part Three, The Structure of Space)), Groups and Symmetry, The Divine Comedy, Candide, The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus, Perelandra (CS Lewis), The Passion of the Western Mind, The Age of Reason (Thomas Paine), The Closing of the American Mind, Fear and Trembling (Soren Kierkegaard).
Is that too many? I've gotten through more than a quarter on three of them. I'm scatterbrained as fuck.
Date: December 31st, 2021 7:46 PM Author: Hideous orchestra pit digit ratio
Obviously. Let me tell you something, I have slept a total of 4 hours in the last three days. I'm exhausted, I have schizophrenic voices in my head yelling at me when I try to go to sleep or lie down. I've been lying down trying to sleep for hours at a time and I cannot. By the by, do you know what happens to a person if they cannot sleep for days? I'm talking not even 3 or 4 hours here and there, I'm talking no sleep at all, and staying up by smoking methamphetamine. Cause I'm on day four of this adventure and I am starting to seriously worry. I am not in control at all of what these voices do and how they do it, they can scream in my head for hours at a time, and what can I do about it? It's all luck at this point. They let me go to sleep before, i.e. they would stop talking to me when I laid down to go to sleep, or at most would do so for 10 minutes or so, annoying but not fatal.
Now I am wondering if this is how I die from exhaustion or what the fuck is going on? Do you have any advice on what I could do? Sleep deprivation is literally torture, I am being tortured right now. Only reason it doesn't feel like literal torture is because of the methamphetamine that I stay up on, and I use more than I would have needed for this reason, because I am trying to go to sleep, which means I am seriously sleepy, and still cannot go to bed and rest my eyes and drift away. I'm scared man. I might be on the precipice of losing my mind, or maybe even something worse, like death.
Succumbing to methamphetamine, or even shall I say giving in to the temptation to use it, was maybe one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was the wrong decision, big time.
Date: January 1st, 2022 2:07 PM Author: internet-worthy drunken cuck point
"I'm talking not even 3 or 4 hours here and there, I'm talking no sleep at all, and staying up by smoking methamphetamine. Cause I'm on day four of this adventure and I am starting to seriously worry"
You should worry and you need to stop. Your mental issues are going to rapidly progress (meaning, get worse) if you keep going with this. You need appropriate medication to manage those "voices" and to live a healthy lifestyle including normal sleep habits.
To put it another way, your brain needs sleep to function properly. As you sleep toxins are removed and your memory is reorganized to allow you to function the next day. Some stuff gets moved from short term to long term memory and short term memory is freed up. That's why people that are up for days later have trouble remembering what actually happened during those days - very little got committed to long-term memory. Interestingly, while your brain is reorging your memories you "dream" - in other words, a different part of your brain is working.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:14 AM Author: razzmatazz party of the first part area
can you tell us about your moments of great existential despair and how you dealt with them? like not material crises like job/poverty/family/health stuff, but mental and spiritual malaise where things didn't seem worth doing.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:25 AM Author: olive deer antler
Had a massive panic attack during college graduation. Was sitting there sweating (nobody came to see me graduate but could not get my $10 for the cap and gown back) when I suddenly realized that even though I was getting two degrees I couldn't think of anything I had learned and had just wasted years of life. Later discovered I had acquired skills I didn't know I possessed. Had to hire an armed guard for a shareholder meeting because on anonymous online death threats (intro to the psychology of internet boards -xo 101). Discovering number 1 son was psychotic, then discovering number 2 son was also psychotic. Latter revealed when the Secret Service showed up at my office to inform me of his Saturday night visit to the White House to see W. Realization sophomore year in college that I might never get laid again (later disproved, fortunately). Plenty of others.
Date: December 31st, 2021 12:13 PM Author: olive deer antler
I just kept going and solving problems as they arose. I usually didn't have a grand sense of strategy, but just took on whatever the most immediate thing was. Most of the time outcomes that appear inevitable can be overcome one way or the other. Sometimes I had to remind myself is that the worst outcome is that I'm dead (even if that's not really the worst possible outcome). Sometimes what feels like existential dread is misperception. At the limit I guess I follow that line in "The Naked and Dead." "Keep a tight asshole and everything will come out all right."
Date: December 31st, 2021 2:49 PM Author: Shimmering community account
LMAO @ the armed guard for death threats. your schizophrenic tendencies are finally emerging. how bad of an executive do you have to be to end up in that situation? Just Ljl you dumb fucking boomer
Date: December 31st, 2021 2:53 PM Author: Shimmering community account
OldHLSDude let his sons shit into buckets & hoard everything for years until their houses resembled hazardous landfills. he ran a tech company without understanding CS fundamentals. he chased prestige into old age instead of fixing his sons. he’s beyond grotesque
Date: December 31st, 2021 4:53 PM Author: olive deer antler
To be clear, the guard was only at the shareholder meeting. After the threats I thought I had a duty to get him there in case of violence. Nothing happened. It was xo type forum stuff. Have dealt with many truly unhinged people though. When you get your name and pic in the WSJ weird shit happens. There must be a reservoir of nut jobs who scan the paper every day looking for names.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:30 AM Author: olive deer antler
Yes, I have considered exorcism. I gather they don't meet the criteria, but #2 son exhibited symptoms that sure resembled demonic possession. Medication suppresses the symptoms, so probably not. However, it is a very eerie experience to someone tell you he is not himself, but a "million year old spirit who is the Lion King of Judah." Then speak in what sounds like French and Hebrew. I played a big role in their upbringing. We had a lot of family time together. Almost always had dinner together, many camping trips, trips to the beach, sports events, movies, jogging, biking, etc.
Date: December 31st, 2021 12:18 PM Author: olive deer antler
I still see them regularly. We still have relationships and communication, but of course it's different now. In fact I just fielded a call from #1 son.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:32 AM Author: olive deer antler
I think it is much, much worse, though fortunately I am not much in it so my views are mainly derivative. I haven't had a real job since 1998, then I was in a university until 2004, which is a mess, but not exactly GC.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:39 AM Author: olive deer antler
24/7 availability. People are treated like cogs in a machine, especially in personal services businesses like law firms. My own approach was to try to build my own business and make it dependent upon making something and selling it other than just billing time. Let machines do machine work. I also have found that life in the non urban heartland is less intense.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:35 AM Author: olive deer antler
I have resigned myself to it, so I it is not anything I think about. Under current circumstances if we had grandchildren we would be caring for them, so in that respect I am glad we don't. I wish our kids were "normal" and we had grandkids, but I am grateful that things are not worse. At the moment nobody is in jail or the hospital, which is not always the case.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:42 AM Author: olive deer antler
I think I poasted some degrees and dated LSAT scores once upon a time. Name redacted of course. Can answer questions about having Larry Tribe for Con Law and evidence and a locker in the basement of Langdell.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:55 AM Author: brilliant rebellious house tattoo
Was it astonishingly easy to score back during the summer of love in 68 even if you were not in San Francisco? What was an approach like? Effortless to just casually approach hippy chicks in Harvard Yard and take them back to your apartment?
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:59 AM Author: olive deer antler
No. It was a shitload of work. At least for me. I don't know where all these hippy free love chicks were. I had to strive. Possibly it's because I went to a college with nearly no women. Seems like you guys have it easy with Tinder, etc.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:48 AM Author: olive deer antler
I seem to be fairly healthy and I don't have any diagnosed bad things, though I am in worse shape than pre-Covid. The whole shut down thing has been depressing and has made me feel sluggish. At least that's what I blame it on. I started feeling age at about 70, and there are physical things that used to be easy that now are not. I no longer get on the roof, for example, and have become wary of lifting very heavy things (over 100 lbs.) Of course I ponder death, but I don't feel frightened. Perhaps I will change my mind when it is imminent. I would say that I have become more religious, though not in an exactly orthodox way, the past 20 years. I spend considerable time reflecting on it. I feel somewhat "in converation with God," whether delusional or not. I am 100% convinced of God the Creator. What happens afterwards is pretty speculative.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:57 AM Author: olive deer antler
I still feel about 18. My dad used to tell me that and I thought it was bullshit, but I don't feel like an old man. It's always a shock to see a photograph. I do realize I am not as mentally quick as I used to be (I was a speed demon in my 20s - finished the LSAT in half the allotted time and had time to go through it all again then compute the distribution of a,b,c,d, answers. Equal, BTW). Can't do that anymore. OTOH, I have experienced many more situations and have a much larger library of macros to work with, so not every problem has to be approached from stage zero.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:54 AM Author: olive deer antler
I am not fond of the current macro trends, and I hope they will reverse. In my lifetime and from what I have read of the past, things are cyclical. However, technology has brought us the potential for irreversibility (e.g, global nuclear war). Barring that, I think current trends will change. It's not a 2-D situation, so change may not be the same as reversal. At the very least there is hysteresis in reversal, so things never go back exactly the way they were. That sounds confusing, but bottom line is I am hopeful things will get better, but the trouble with predictions is that they're about the future. Personally, I don't spend time brooding, but just do what I can to impact local situations that I can affect, hopefully in a good way.
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:36 AM Author: Shimmering community account
do you think they’ll have a great selection of cheeses at next year’s MIT reunion? all that prestige surely makes up for not being able (or even willing) to fix your schizophrenic sons
Date: December 31st, 2021 11:43 AM Author: Shimmering community account
schizophrenia is not associated with any brain abnormalities beyond insignificant changes in ventricle size and other minor changes. it’s about as big a difference that comes from frontal lobe shrinkage caused by dehydration. brain autopsies rarely reveal any significant pathology unless hard drugs are involved. Environmental triggers and stressors are key to initiating and sustaining psychosis, and you’ve revealed you were very involved in your sons’ upbringing. they both went insane as soon as they left the house, indicating you and/or your wife are almost certainly the triggers and stressors here. two non-twin siblings both being schizophrenic is rare and points to external factors. despite all this you claim, without evidence, that all of this has to do with the “final stages of brain development.” what’s it like being a prestige whore fraud that didn’t give one shit about his sons?
Date: December 31st, 2021 12:17 PM Author: olive deer antler
Have been there and done that, but always had something lined up in advance, so was never unemployed until retirement. I never had any financial backstop and was in fact the backstop for other people, so I was always paranoid about not having a source of income.
Date: December 31st, 2021 12:25 PM Author: olive deer antler
Yes, definitely It's not merely cognitive decline, but energy level. Guys that age should be counselors, not Presidents. Moreover, I also don't think old folks ought to hang on to control of businesses and other organizations until they have to be carried out. Get the fuck out of the way and let new leadership rise up. I never liked working that much anyway.
Date: January 1st, 2022 2:25 PM Author: internet-worthy drunken cuck point
I might contest that, but if the kids are legit mentally ill (schizophrenics being the most unquestionable example of that) then there's absolutely nothing the parents can do.
Date: December 31st, 2021 2:43 PM Author: Accurate at predicting vs Measures of probability (gunneratttt)
how do you compare the insane shitlib nonsense of today to the 60s? i've thought about what you've said about it perhaps being cyclical, and that eventually people will see it for what it is. there are signs people are waking up a bit as shitlib nonsense strains belief. what signs were there of culture shifting from lib 60s to conservative 80s?
Date: December 31st, 2021 4:25 PM Author: olive deer antler
I think the current level of stupidity is much worse than the 60s, and it's being embraced by people old enough to know better. I think the 60s crowd grew up, but there are a lot of grown ups already in the present left. I can't even call them liberals. Hubert Humphrey was a liberal. These people are totalitarians seeking tyranny. I never embraced the 60s much, either.
Date: December 31st, 2021 4:27 PM Author: olive deer antler
Nobody. I don't hate anyone and have no desire to kill any person, consequences or not. Maybe I would wipe out Covid on day 1. OTOH, perhaps it is teaching us a valuable lesson. You never know until you get to the end of the book.
Date: December 31st, 2021 3:49 PM Author: Slimy rough-skinned psychic
Is there any relief in the imminence of death being closer as you get older? Probably the biggest stressor in my life is really feeling like I don’t fit in well with the world and wondering how I’m going to keep this charade up (in work, in relationships, etc) for decades to come. It seems inevitable that, given the time left that I assume I have, I will finally have that schism from society and live the remainder of my life in ruination. Is there comfort in knowing that the act will come to an end, or is the relief outweighed by dread or sadness that all aspects of life, not just the u pleasant parts, will end?
Date: December 31st, 2021 4:34 PM Author: olive deer antler
Hmmm. Interesting. I guess there is relief in the sense that I have had a decently long, interesting and productive life and I hope to have made the way better for a few other people. When I was young I guess I felt that if I dropped dead I would be missing out on a lot. Now I enjoy naps more. The dirt nap is the ultimate nap. FWIW, I have always felt like an outsider in most situations. Always the guy wearing brown shoes with a tuxedo, to paraphrase Gorge Gobel. I did learn early on to be a chameleon and hide various things in the interest of "fitting in," e.g., if you are 12 and going home to read a book on relativity and calculate time dilation on the surface of a massive planet, it's not a good idea to mention it at baseball practice.
Date: December 31st, 2021 3:52 PM Author: sick step-uncle's house codepig
If you were born in the 80s or early 90s do you see yourself getting married or would modern society and modern women have ruined you from ever considering matrimony?
Date: December 31st, 2021 4:38 PM Author: olive deer antler
Pretty much impossible to know. I don't know much about modern women. Anybody younger than 50 is a complete mystery. I do think that solo old age probably sucks, so perhaps I would spring for marriage if I could stand it.
Date: December 31st, 2021 4:56 PM Author: olive deer antler
I've looked at them, and know some from boards, but don't hang with any socially other than relatives. Most of what I "know" about them comes from xo. Certainly I have not been in a sexual situation with any of them.
Date: December 31st, 2021 4:14 PM Author: insecure church building
what do you think about all the threads or ideas that tell poasters to get out of America? do you think there's any traction to the idea that for a man its better to find a community/spouse outside of an increasingly woke and dysfunctional country
Date: December 31st, 2021 4:48 PM Author: olive deer antler
I don't personally know of another country in which I would want to live. I think I failed to address this in another earlier question. I used to think I would like to live in Australia, having spent a lot of time there in the 80s, but it seems to have gone down the sewer in a spectacular way, if the news is right (always a ?). I can't think of a country I had rather live in. Every place seems fucked up, but I've only been to 30 or so countries, and not much of anywhere lately. I think the USA is still dynamic enough to save itself. Other than Australia, the other place I have liked enough to consider living in is Sweden, though it was being overrun by Islamists when I was last there. They're pretty leftie, but it seemed tolerable. Bottom line: no geographic escape fantasies. OTOH, I will say that in some sense I have escaped by moving to a rural/small town area in a red state.
Date: December 31st, 2021 5:07 PM Author: insecure church building
Would you recommend XO'ers to move to a red state? Is it really night and day compared to the urban centers? Or has leftist ideology spread there as well.
Also I forgot to add, TY for this, youre 180. It'll be sad when on Dec 31 we dont get this thread (stay healthy gramps).
Forget about your troll too. You never become a board legend without at least one hater. So its a sign that you've maed it sir.
Date: December 31st, 2021 5:35 PM Author: olive deer antler
Big city mayors tend to be Dem, but outside them very red. We have few Covid restrictions and the legislature removed the governor’s authority to issue lockdown orders, etc, even though he’s an R (though he’s s centrist R). The biggest difference is that locally if you meet a random person 75% likely they are not shitlib. Most things state government does make sense. Climate is generally pro business, though taxes are not low.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:00 PM Author: olive deer antler
In a perfect world I would have done my last startup extravaganza when I was younger and I would have enjoyed middle age more. From about 42-52 I was pretty much swamped 24/7. I don't feel like I missed a lot of stuff, but it was a very intense time with a lot of stress.
If I were young today? Hard to imagine. Guess it depends upon how young. Most likely I would take a different path because times are different. What worked then is probably no good now. Academically and professionally I might go into biotech. I did a project in RNA (reconstitution of the tobacco mosaic virus) when I was 15 and could see vaguely the outline of what might happen, but science developed so slowly that by the time I went to college bio was still sort of boring. I would probably be in an urban area because that's where opportunity is. The life I lead now is only feasible if you are cashed out.
I don't have a clue about the future. I didn't see any of what exists now coming. I think there is a substantial likelihood of a catastrophic global military event in the next 25 years. Also expect to see future pandemics. Pretty sure Covid is a gain of function lab leak. Probably at least 100 places in the world where this could happen again, possibly in a worse way. If we are lucky, the experience with this will help with the next one. In 100 years China will be either calling the shots or collapsed. But who knows? My crystal ball has never worked very well. Maybe UFOs will turn out to be something real and transformative. Experience dictates to the contrary, but one can always hope.
Some of the biggest surprises of the present day? Weakness of leadership and incompetence in US federal government. Left wing craziness dominating so much of life and government in the US. The nearly complete dissolution of journalism. The ascendancy of China. Surprised the space program is so far behind where it might have been. Surprised by what microelectronics and infotech have created. Surprised and dismayed by the unpleasantness of daily life for many people. Surprised we haven't had a nuclear exchange somewhere in the world by now.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:05 PM Author: olive deer antler
At the moment I am pessimistic. The trend is bad but could change. I am hoping that our country's ability to reinvent itself will come through again. We have piss poor national leadership. Fortunately, government is not the country, but it certainly affects how people behave.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:07 PM Author: olive deer antler
I've still got the dress blue coat and the hat. No ribbons or medals. I don't think I ever got any. Rarely wore a uniform anyway. Now they do, but back then hardly any locations required uniforms. It was the peak of "baby killer" accusations toward anything remotely military looking, so everyone wanted a low profile. I only wore a uniform to fly military standby.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:09 PM Author: olive deer antler
They are far too paranoid to poast. One won't use a computer at all, and the other will not use wifi - only cellular data. Visited with both today and they seem pretty cheery.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:23 PM Author: olive deer antler
I'll postpone my break a few minutes. Realized I hated law after a 2L clerkship. 3L I started a business with a friend for whom I had worked part time while in LS. Worked in law and on the company for one horrible year then quit law for the business. We sold it, and after a while I went into an executive role in a big corp, then left to do a Si Valley startup, then left that to form a competitor which IPO'd after a bit. The Valley startup IPO'd after I left, but I still had some stock. Then went to a large university for about 5 years, then "retired" again. Pretty much a drunkard's walk of a career.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:14 PM Author: Hot hall becky
Who's a late-20th century public figure whose influence positive or netgative (in anything--politics, development, science, etc.) you think was/is vastly underestimated?
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:35 PM Author: Hot hall becky
That's a pretty damn good one. I think lots of people here grew up in mild-lib upper middle class suburbs of major metros and don't realize the extent to which many millions of people listened to him (to say nothing of setting the template for 21st century media). I probably heard more Rush Limbaugh in the car growing up than collective hours of every children's show I ever watched.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:40 PM Author: olive deer antler
I first heard him in the 90s when the CTO of my company started playing him on the radio every day in the engineering lab. Huge arguments erupted daily between the left wing CFO and the right wing CTO. At first I thought Rush was a bombastic fool, but I came to respect him greatly. He and I grew up about 90 miles apart, though he was a bit younger.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:36 PM Author: olive deer antler
I probably would try to date, but cautiously. It is hard to find women even remotely close to my age who want to have sex. It is probably easier to find a woman who would like a sugar daddy. I have been accused of being intimidating, though I don't see it myself, so perhaps I would just be home alone. I'm not beautiful, either. My sister had a thing for alcoholics with good silver hair, an Elks Club membership and a taste for Coupe deVilles, and I suspect she has a lot of company. Could not tolerate a shitlib academic. There is probably a small subset of women who could stand me and vice versa. Maybe I would just buy a high end sex doll.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:38 PM Author: insecure church building
would you do the sugar daddy thing in this case?
why do women close to your age not want to have sex? Menopause? that sounds awful. cuts against that social narrative that guys your age should date "age appropriate" women.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:48 PM Author: olive deer antler
I might be a sugar daddy if I got horny enough, but would prefer a "real" relationship. I think most women's interest in sex wanes with age and many experience discomfort and suffer body image problems. I'm sure there are exceptions.At least I hope there are exceptions. I had a friend (now deceased), whose formula for a girlfriend was (his age/2)+7. That resulted in a memorable dinner party at which his date revealed she was a senior in high school. He was 45 at the time. He was married 4 times, all to women named "Pat." My wife thought he did it on purpose to avoid drunken name confusion. I lack his sense of style. He had good hair and a Coupe deVille, BTW. After wife #4 he was reduced to buying used Caddies. I guess there is life out there for some old guys at least. However, he died at 75 in his sleep after a night out at a jazz bar. His Facebook page was filled with condolences from all kinds of hotties.
Date: December 31st, 2021 9:44 PM Author: olive deer antler
He was tall and athletic looking, even though a heavy smoker. Amazingly, he was Phd (Rice plus Reed undergrad) physicist working in an industrial R&D job. If you met him you would never in a million years be able to guess his background. Not sure I ever saw him sober, though. His 4 wives are all hot as are his two daughters.
Date: December 31st, 2021 6:56 PM Author: 180 haunted graveyard
if your wife dies and you decide to go the sugar baby route, please make sure to document everything and poast it. this would make for fantastic content. the younger the better.